A Different Path
by piratewench78
Summary: Maddie Conrad has a lot on her mind these days. Life threw her a curve ball but things are starting to fall into place. But will she get her heart's desire?
1. Chapter 1

_**I was planning to take a break from posting anything new while I work on some other things and concentrate on a very busy time at work. But this germ of an idea went through my head as I drove to The Bluebird Café last night and by the time I got there I had worked out the whole story in my head. I thought I'd put it out there before the show comes back next week.**_

Maddie Conrad went to sit at a table that faced out through the large floor-to-ceiling windows onto the parking lot, to wait for her ride. She had stayed after school to spend some time in the library working on a paper and now she was waiting. She would be glad when she was old enough to drive and, hopefully, have her own car. She had dropped hints to her parents, but her mom was predictably non-committal and her dad would just say "we'll see." She sighed. Of course, there was another parent in the mix these days. Deacon. Her "biological father", as her dad always referred to him. She guessed she understood that. He and Deacon had never gotten along, as far back as she could remember, although she'd never really understood why until now. And even that was complicated. Teddy Conrad hated Deacon Claybourne because he was her father. And Deacon hated Teddy because he was in love with her mother, Rayna Jaymes, who had been married to Teddy since before she had been born.

Maddie felt all the conflicting emotions she always did when she thought about the three of them. Her mom was the one constant. The great Rayna Jaymes, the Queen of Country Music. That always seemed weird to her because in her eyes Rayna was just "Mom." Sure, she was strict about things like school and homework and curfews and stuff, but she was also silly and fun-loving. And because she was a country music star, she would take her and her sister Daphne on the road sometimes, which was always fun. She loved watching her mom on stage in her sparkly, sexy clothes and high heels. She sure didn't look like a mom when she was out on stage. But she was also very old-fashioned about some things, which annoyed Maddie. Like not wanting her to sing professionally. Wasn't it in her blood? Why couldn't her mom see that and support her? Maddie sighed and rolled her eyes.

Then there was Teddy, the man who raised her, the man who was "Dad." She had always thought she was like him. That she looked like him, was smart like him, was a daddy's girl. When she had found out that he was not really her father after all, she had been thrown into turmoil. Everything she had believed had been turned upside down and she had no idea who she really was anymore. He kept insisting that _he_ was her dad, that Deacon was nothing more than her "biological father", as though that were something bad. He had told her more than once that he was the one who was there for all the important moments of her life. But that wasn't a hundred percent true, because Deacon had been a part of the fabric of her life for as long as she could remember, and he'd been there for a lot of that too.

Deacon Claybourne. Her real father. _He_ was who she looked like, who she got so much of who she was from. She could see that so clearly now. She had always believed she'd gotten her talent from her mom, but now she realized that it really came from Deacon. As she had spent more time with Deacon, getting to know him as her father, she felt so much more connected to him than she had ever felt to Teddy, which had surprised her. She still loved Teddy – her dad. He was the only father she had known for most of her life and she believed he did truly love her as though she were his own. But she had so often during her life felt a little like an outsider in her own family. And now she knew why. Because she was Deacon's daughter. As they had worked on her music together and done some writing together, she saw that she looked at life in the same way that Deacon did. They both felt things passionately, neither of them were silly or goofy the way her mom and Daphne were. They were serious people.

She had always loved Deacon, at least until the accident. Then she had hated him. For almost killing her mom. For being a drunk. For ruining their lives. But when it was all over and her mom came out of the coma, she had learned that it wasn't all Deacon's fault. And that's when things got so complicated. She couldn't relate to her mom at all and she couldn't get past the lies she had told, to both her and to Deacon. She loved her dad but she hated him too, because she realized that he had lied to her too. She was unsure of how she felt about Deacon then. But she had been drawn to know more about him and her mom had shut that down. So she spent hours on the Internet, looking for anything she could find. She found a CD of his only album, cut years ago when he and her mom were still together and still so young. She listened to his songs over and over. She had wanted to reach out to him, but she didn't really know how. And he had not tried to reach her, so she thought he didn't want to be her father.

She refocused her eyes on the parking lot. It would be a little longer before her ride got there. The upper grade Ensworth School was way out on Highway 100 in Bellevue, not really close to anyone. Daphne was still at the lower school over near Belle Meade, so it made regular rides more complicated. Today was different, though, since she had stayed late.

While she waited, she pulled out her iPad and turned it on. When it fully loaded, she did what she'd been doing so often these days. She went to Safari and typed in "Deacon Claybourne Rayna Jaymes" and looked for pictures of the two of them from back in the early days. She knew that they had kept their private life as private as they could, but there were still pictures of the two of them that captured the feelings they'd had for each other. Maddie felt funny sometimes, looking at them, because, after all, they were her _parents_. She had never liked to think about her mom and dad that way either, like they were in love or something. But it was different with her mom and Deacon. She'd never seen them as a couple, never been a part of a family life with them like she had with her mom and dad.

Her mom looked so young, so happy, in these pictures. She almost looked dreamy, the way she looked at Deacon. With that small smile and her shiny eyes. The way her body was turned towards him. Deacon looked different – not so closed up. She was like him in that way, she knew, keeping her feelings close, being wary and careful. In these pictures he always looked like he was ready to grab her mom and kiss her, the way the romantic leads did in movies. She felt it again, that hint of weirdness over thinking about her parents as romantic people.

Her mom had been dating Luke Wheeler. Maddie made a face as she thought of him. She wasn't sure she liked him. He seemed like he was trying too hard. Daphne loved him. Of course. Daphne was easy. But she just wasn't sure about him. When she looked at her mother around Luke, she seemed like she was having fun, but Maddie saw something in her eyes, when no one was looking, that made her think her mom wasn't having as much fun as she tried to make people think she was.

Her dad had married Peggy. At first, Maddie hadn't liked her. She was the reason her parents split up, she thought, although later she realized there was more to it than that. When her dad and Peggy decided to get married, she tried harder to get to know her. Peggy really seemed to want to connect to Maddie and Daphne and it turned out she wasn't as bad as they'd thought she was. But then she'd been killed and now everything was weird with her dad.

Everything had been so complicated when her parents had split up. Her dad was seeing Peggy. Then she had overheard her mom telling Deacon she loved him. That was when she'd made the decision to snoop. She wasn't really sure what she thought she would find, but it was definitely not the paternity test results that had turned her world upside down.

Maddie felt sad about that again. Only because of the accident. Even though Juliette had assured her it wasn't her fault, she still felt a little guilty. But it was a good thing that the truth was out. Even though it had been horrible for a while, it had all turned out for the best.

Her mom had initially not talked to her much about Deacon. To be fair, she hadn't asked that many questions, but when she had, her mom had not wanted to tell her much. Which just led to frustration. It made her angry and she didn't know how to deal with it. She couldn't talk to her dad about the situation at all. He didn't want to hear Deacon's name. But finally her mom started to open up a little. The night she took her to The Bluebird to hear Deacon play had changed everything. It changed her relationship with her mom and it definitely changed things with Deacon.

And that was the problem. She was really enjoying finding out more about the man who really was her father. She found herself pulling away from the man who had raised her, not meaning to necessarily, but it was hard to balance the two, especially when they hated each other so much.

She looked back at the pictures on her iPad and she started to wonder what it would have been like if her mom and Deacon had gotten married or at least had stayed together. If the three of them had been a family instead of the family she had. It was a weird thing to think about, because it meant there would have been no Daphne and that made her sad. She loved her little sister, even when she was annoying, and that would have been hard. But she felt a little like she had been cheated out of a real family, growing up with the two people that loved her most. The two people who made her.

A lot of her friends had parents who were divorced and they had stepparents. She wasn't sure any of her friends still had the parents they'd been born to. So she was really no different from them, except that she had thought Teddy was her actual dad, not a stepdad, and Deacon had not known about her at all.

Maddie gazed back out the window. She knew Deacon still loved her mom. She could tell. She knew he was seeing that woman named Megan. She hadn't met her yet. She hadn't asked to and Deacon had kept them separate, she guessed so that she and Deacon could bond with each other first. She appreciated that about him, that he was thoughtful where she was concerned. But she could tell from things he said and the way he looked at her mom when she came to pick her up at Deacon's that he still loved her. What she couldn't say for sure was how her mom felt about Deacon. She was a performer, after all, and she was good at putting on a happy face and acting like everything was perfect. And then, of course, she had pretended for thirteen years that Maddie's father was Teddy, not Deacon. You had to be good at keeping your real feelings inside to be able to do that. But she didn't think her mom loved Luke Wheeler.

She wondered if there was anything she could do. Probably not, but Maddie knew life could throw you curve balls and maybe the time would come when her real parents would get that same curve ball. She smiled a little, thinking about that. And then she saw her ride pull into the parking lot. She couldn't help it; a big smile crossed her face. She threw her iPad in her book bag and gathered up her things. She ran out of the building and skipped down the library steps. She ran around to the passenger side and opened the door, jumping in and closing the door. This was _her_ chance to start the conversation.

She smiled broadly. "Hey…Dad," she said, trying it out.

Deacon took a breath and she could see a slight glisten in his eyes. Then he smiled, that head-over-heels happy smile that he gave her every time he saw her now. "Hey, Maddie," he said. "How was your day?"


	2. Chapter 2

Maddie put her seat belt on, then turned back to Deacon and smiled, as he put the truck in gear and headed out of the parking lot. "I had a really good day," she said. "I got my math test back and I got an A. I don't have too much homework. And I found out I made the soccer team again." She laughed. "But everyone makes the soccer team that tries out, so…"

Deacon raised his eyebrows. "That sounds like a very good day to me. Congratulations on making the soccer team. Even if everyone does make it." He grinned. "I'm sure you're good."

Maddie shook her head and laughed. "No, I'm not. Mom says I got my athletic talent from her."

Deacon laughed too, a twinkle in his eye. "Yeah, as I recall, your mama wasn't much into that kind of thing. She was more into dressing up and stuff like that."

Maddie nodded. "And singing," she added.

Deacon nodded back. "Yeah, and singing. She is very, very good at that. Which you got from her."

Maddie beamed. "And you. And the guitar playing from you."

Deacon laughed. "Had to be, because that surely wasn't from your mama." Maddie laughed with him. Then he turned serious. "So what was this paper you were working on?"

Maddie looked out the front window. _Why didn't he say anything?_ "Oh, you know, Alexander the Great. He's the one that ruled practically the whole known world back in 300-something B.C. You remember him, right? He was so young and so fierce. And he died really young too."

Deacon nodded. "Yeah, yeah, right." _Where did she get this, these smarts?_ She was so smart, she blew him away. This was definitely _not_ something she got from him. It was kind of amazing to him to think that he and Rayna had created this beautiful, smart girl. He looked at her sheepishly and shook his head. "Actually, I don't remember him at all."

Maddie smiled. "That's okay. It's not really all that interesting." She tilted her head to the side and gave him a playful look. "I'd rather write and play music anyway. With you."

Deacon smiled. "Well, thanks. I have fun writing and playing with you too."

They were silent for a few minutes. Maddie looked down at her purse, laying in her lap. He hadn't really said anything when she'd called him 'Dad'. She wondered if it made him uncomfortable. Or maybe he didn't like it. But she had decided to take some control over what was happening to her and around her, so she decided she needed to ask. She looked up and over at Deacon. "Do you mind?" she asked quietly. "I mean, if I call you Dad?"

Deacon took a deep breath. She'd caught him off guard with that and he hadn't been sure what to say. He worked his lip for a moment. Then he glanced over at her. "I'm really honored that you want to. But what about Teddy? Don't you think he'll mind?"

Maddie rolled her eyes. "I'm sure he'll hate it. But _you're_ my dad. My _real_ dad. I don't see why I can't call both of you 'Dad'." She paused. "Unless you don't want me to."

Deacon shook his head. "No, I'm not saying that at all." He smiled at her. "I think that would be great."

She smiled that smile that lit up her whole face. "Thanks. It just, you know, feels right. Now."

He reached out and squeezed her hand. "Yeah, it does." He couldn't stop smiling. He'd never really expected this. Hoped for it, but didn't expect it. He still thought that when Teddy found out, he'd be furious, but Maddie was right. She was _his_ daughter, not Teddy's. Even though he hadn't known about her until now, she'd come from him. He had a warm feeling in his chest and he felt his eyes get a little moist. He rubbed his face, then looked back at her, still smiling. "Now this is a very good day for me too," he said.

"I'm glad," Maddie said, still smiling. Then she looked thoughtful. "You know, I might forget sometimes at first. You know, still call you Deacon. Just because it's new."

Deacon nodded. "Why don't we do this – maybe you can call me 'Dad' when we're together, and when there are other people around, if it's easier to call me Deacon for a while, that's ok."

Maddie nodded. "That sounds good." She scrunched her face up a little. "So I was wondering…." Her voice trailed off.

"Wondering what?"

"Well, maybe I could meet your girlfriend sometime?" She looked at him questioningly. She felt like she needed to meet her. She really wanted to see what they were like together. So she could see if there was any hope of one day having _her_ family together.

"Oh." Deacon swallowed hard. He really hadn't thought about introducing her to Megan yet. It hadn't really come up, plus he had thought he and Maddie really needed their own time to get to know each other. For some reason, it felt awkward for him to be introducing his daughter to a girlfriend. "Um, yeah, sure, we can do that."

Maddie took a deep breath. "Everything is so weird right now," she said quietly. "There's so much to get used to and nothing really feels, you know, normal to me." She looked at Deacon. "You're the only one who's really just been honest with me."

Deacon wasn't sure how to respond at first. After he thought about it for a minute, he said, "I think it just all happened so fast that nobody had time to think about what to do. And then your mama was in the hospital…." He thought about how he'd probably disappointed her at first and he was glad to have gotten this chance with her.

Maddie looked down. "Yeah, it was hard at first. But things are a lot better now." She turned and smiled shyly at him. "I really like spending time with you."

Deacon smiled back. "I feel the same way. It's been good getting to know you better. Differently."

Maddie nodded. Just then, they reached Rayna's house and Deacon turned in the driveway. He parked, but didn't turn off the truck. Maddie picked at her skirt, then looked up at him. She'd been wanting to bring something up to him but had been afraid he would not want to do it. But it was what she felt was a logical next step for them. She really wanted to know more about him and become part of his life, not just part of a couple of afternoons every two weeks. She felt like it was the only way she could influence what was going on in her life. _Please don't say no._ "I was wondering if, maybe, I could, um, maybe I could stay with you for a couple nights during the week I'm with…my other dad."

Deacon was stunned. She was definitely full of surprises today. "Well, if you want to do that, I would like that, but I think you need to talk to your mama and your, uh, Teddy about that."

Maddie looked serious, with a firm look to her face. "I think it should be my decision. I'm old enough to decide now. And that's what I decide."

Deacon rubbed his face. "I still think we should talk to your mama about it."

Maddie shrugged and gave a nonchalant nod. "Sure. But that's what I want. I mean, I have to spend time with…him and he's not really my dad. So I should be able to spend time with my real dad." She looked at Deacon with a conviction he wondered if she truly felt. "Don't you think so?"

He gave her a slight smile. "Actually, Maddie, I do." He noticed Rayna walking towards them, a question on her face. When she got to the truck, he let the window down. She smiled, her face instantly pleasant.

"I saw y'all just sitting out here. Is something wrong?" she asked.

Deacon raised his eyebrows and shook his head. "No, not at all. Nothing's wrong at all."

Maddie leaned forward and looked at her mom. "I was just telling Deacon, um, Dad, that I want to take a few days of my week when I'm not here and stay with him."

Rayna looked surprised, both at Maddie's request and the fact that she had called Deacon 'Dad.' "Well, that's something we should talk about. I think that your…other…dad might have something to say too."

Maddie frowned. "Mom, I'm fourteen. I can make decisions about that myself."

Rayna looked at Deacon, but his face gave away nothing. They would have to talk about this, but not now. She looked back at Maddie. "Well, look, dinner's almost ready, so let's eat and then you and I can talk some more about this." Maddie sighed with annoyance. Rayna held up her hand. "I'm not saying no, I'm just saying let's talk about it. Okay?"

Maddie shrugged. "I guess." She turned to gather her things and Rayna looked at Deacon and mouthed "we have to talk". Deacon nodded but still didn't give any indication of his feelings. Maddie walked around to Deacon's window. "Thanks for picking me up," she said with a shy smile. "I'll see you tomorrow, right?"

He winked at her and smiled. "Absolutely. See you then."

She held her hand up. "Bye, Dad."

"Bye, Maddie." He watched her turn and walk back to Rayna, who had watched their exchange with a thoughtful look on her face. They started to walk towards the house, Rayna's arm around her daughter's shoulders and Maddie's arm around Rayna's waist. Deacon waited until they had gotten to the back door and then he drove off.


	3. Chapter 3

**This chapter has less Maddie and more Rayna, Deacon and Teddy, but that's really to move the story forward.**

Maddie picked at her food, anxious about the conversation she would have with her mom about spending more time with her dad. She was sure her mom was going to say no, that she wouldn't want to rock the boat. Even though things were better and her mom was more open to talking about Deacon, she still sensed that Rayna was holding back. But she was going to be firm about this. It was what she wanted and she felt like she deserved this chance to know her real dad better.

After Daphne went to bed, Rayna headed for Maddie's room. She was a little nervous about the conversation. She'd been surprised at Maddie's request and, based on Deacon's lack of comment about it, she was afraid he supported her. She didn't think either of them realized the potential for all of this to blow up. Maddie spending more time with Deacon just increased the chance that word would get out about their relationship and she wasn't sure either one of them really understood the consequences of that.

She stood at Maddie's door. Maddie had her iPod going and her eyes closed. Rayna walked in and sat on Maddie's bed. When she felt the movement on her bed, Maddie opened her eyes and gave her mom a small smile, turning off the iPod. "Hey," she said.

Rayna smiled at her. "Hey, sweet girl." She paused, not really sure exactly how to start.

Maddie decided to start it for her. "So, can I spend more time with Deacon?"

Rayna took a deep breath. "What made you decide you wanted to do this?"

Maddie rolled her eyes. "He's my dad. I want to get to know him better. I want to spend more time with him. What's so hard to understand about that?"

"I do understand, Maddie. But it's complicated."

"That's what you say about everything that has to do with him. That it's complicated. But I think it's pretty simple. Every one of my friends whose parents aren't together gets to spend time with both parents. All I get is a couple afternoons during the week I'm with you. I don't think that's enough."

Rayna thought about what she wanted to say to her daughter. "It's really _not_ that simple, Maddie. For one thing, you have your dad to consider. He has you and Daphne every other week and I'm not sure how he's going to feel about your request."

Maddie rolled her eyes. "He isn't going to like it. I get that. But _Deacon_ is my dad, not him. _He's_ the one that deserves to get to spend time with me." She looked at her mom with a very determined look on her face. "And he wants it too. Just ask him. That's what he said to me when he dropped me off."

Rayna looked away and took a deep breath. She expected that Deacon supported her request. Then she looked back at Maddie. "I don't want you to get hurt, Maddie. I'm your mama and it's my instinct to protect you. That's what I want to do. Protect you from pain." Maddie started to say something and Rayna held up her hand. "Yes, your dad will be very upset. But it's more than that, I'm afraid. This…relationship between you and Deacon is still so new, so fragile, and it still scares me just a little."

Maddie frowned. "What, that he might get drunk or something?"

Rayna raised her eyebrows, but gave a tiny nod. "Or something," she whispered.

"I can handle it. He's been pretty honest with me about it and he says he's back on track. And I promise that if something happens, I'll call you." She sighed. "Mom, I want this. Dad's just going to have to understand. It's important to me. Why won't you help?"

Rayna shook her head. "I'm not saying I won't help. If you truly want this, here's what I'll do. I want to talk to Deacon first, to be really sure that he understands what this means and that he's ready for it. And if I feel okay with that, then I'll talk to your dad."

Maddie beamed and threw her arms around her mother's neck. "Thank you, Mom!" she cried. "This means so much to me."

Rayna hugged Maddie close. She was still scared. Not about talking to Deacon, not even about talking to Teddy. She was scared that this was going to open up the unspoken wall of silence around the reveal that Deacon was Maddie's father and not Teddy. There had not been any discussion around the need to keep things private, but it seemed to be understood. Even when she had found out that Maddie had confided in Juliette Barnes, she had been relieved that Juliette agreed to keep it quiet. But if Maddie spent more time with Deacon and it became public, there would be questions. Questions with unpleasant answers that would mean pain for everyone. Rayna felt a hollow pit in the bottom of her stomach as she considered the freight train that was Maddie Conrad barreling down this path with its uncertain outcome.

After Maddie went to bed, Rayna went into the den and sat down on the couch with a glass of wine. She sipped on it thoughtfully as she thought about her conversation with Maddie. She shivered. She wasn't sure she had a good feeling about all this, but Maddie was right about one thing. She did need to spend more time with Deacon. It was only fair. And she couldn't protect her forever. She would have to trust Deacon to have the same care for their daughter as she did.

She picked up her phone and considered all that could come out of this. It was worrisome, but she needed to just move forward. She had made her bed long ago, when she found out she was pregnant, and allowed herself to make the decision to deny Deacon and move forward with Teddy. She'd been so naïve then, not realizing that the decisions they made all those years ago could come back to haunt them in a big way. And so now they were. She took a deep breath and scrolled down her contact list and tapped Deacon's name. She put her phone to her ear and waited until he answered.

"We need to talk," she said. "Can you meet me tomorrow?"

"What time?"

"Eleven?"

"I'll see you there." And he hung up.

* * *

When Rayna arrived the next day at their traditional meeting place along the river, Deacon was already there, sitting on the picnic bench. She stood at the bridge for a moment, just looking at him. They'd come a long way since the night they'd met next to the fans' memorial at the accident site. That night, although she wasn't foolish enough to think she'd never cross paths with him again, she thought she had put a period at the end of their long, complicated past. She had not really thought, at that point, about whether he and Maddie would ever want to explore their relationship. In some part of her mind, she guessed she hoped she could keep Maddie away from him forever, both to protect her as well as to push the reality of all that had happened deep underground. But that was not to be, predictably, and so the two of them had slowly begun to come together and figure out how they would coexist as Maddie's parents, if nothing else.

He turned and looked up at her, a question on his face. She gave him a small smile and a wave and then made her way down the hill, walking over and stepping up to sit beside him. She smiled a little more and nudged his shoulder. "Hey," she said.

He smiled back, his eyes crinkling in that way that still sent a shot of heat through her. "Hey."

She leaned forward, her elbows resting on her legs, her hands clasped in front of her, looking out towards the horizon. "So, I guess we need to talk about Maddie's request." She turned and looked at him.

Deacon nodded, working his lip a bit. "She kind of surprised me with that yesterday." He shook his head, with a small grin. "Along with a bunch of other stuff."

"The 'Dad' thing." It was more a statement than a question.

"Yeah, the 'Dad' thing. I have to tell you though, Ray, I like it." He rubbed his hands over his mouth, then turned to her. "I never thought I would, but I liked it. I never thought I'd hear that. Ever."

Rayna smiled encouragingly and reached over to squeeze his forearm. "It's important to her to know you, Deacon. She really came to a place where she needed her dad. She needed _you_. And you were there for her. I appreciate it."

Deacon looked down. "She's a great kid, Ray. You did a great job with her." He looked at her and she smiled. "I really want to do this, though. Even though she was the one that brought it up, when she asked me, I realized that I really wanted to do it too. I want her to spend time with me. More than just a couple afternoons every other week. We need more time." He took a deep breath. "We have a lot of time to make up for."

Rayna looked down and away and nodded sadly. "I know you do." She wrapped her arms around her waist. "I'm scared, though, Deacon. Scared you'll disappoint her. Scared of what this will all lead to."

Deacon bristled a little bit. "I'm back on the program, Rayna. Stronger than ever. And having Maddie, well, that makes me more determined not to mess this up. This time. I want to do right by her."

Rayna nodded. "I hope so. I hope you'll understand my caution, though."

"I guess. But I promise, I won't ever hurt her. That way."

"I'm also afraid that this will become more public. And hurt both of you."

Deacon raised his eyebrows and took a deep breath. "I hadn't really thought about that. But you know, that impacts you and me more than her."

Rayna nodded. "I guess."

They were silent for a moment. Then Deacon looked over at her. "She wants to meet Megan."

Rayna took in a sharp breath. She felt a quick pain to her heart that she told herself she shouldn't feel. She smiled sadly. "Well, that would make sense. Megan's a part of your life and, if Maddie's going to be part of yours too, they should get to know each other." She looked at Deacon. "She's met Luke."

Deacon nodded, no expression on his face. "Yeah, she told me."

Rayna's eyebrows went up. "Oh? What did she say?"

Deacon shrugged. "Not much. I think the jury's still out."

Rayna laughed softly. "I guess that's to be expected. She may end up the same about Megan, you know."

Deacon nodded. "Yeah." He wasn't comfortable talking about their respective relationships, so he decided to change the subject. "She's really challenging me. Maddie, that is. Is it typical of teenagers to just be so all over the place?"

Rayna laughed. "Oh, yeah. And Maddie's not as bad as some, but she's certainly a typical teenager. She knows more than anyone and she's so sure of herself." She looked playfully at Deacon. "At least she hasn't discovered boys yet. Much."

Deacon looked uncomfortable. "She can wait a long time for that, as far as I'm concerned."

"Well, remember that I was only sixteen when I fell in love." She looked meaningfully at Deacon.

Deacon frowned. "That's what I was thinking about. Sixteen's too young."

Rayna smiled broadly. "Seriously? You sure didn't think so when you were wooing me."

Deacon smiled and shook his head. "You were different."

Rayna shook her head. "Not really. I actually think Maddie's a lot more mature than I was. She's had to deal with a lot and it's made her grow up more than I did. I was still a silly teenager with stars in my eyes." She looked at Deacon carefully. "She's actually a lot more like you, Deacon. I've always thought that. She's always been more serious, more careful, like you are. But she always seemed sort of awkward, like she wasn't sure how she fit in her own skin, and I realize now that it's because, maybe unconsciously, she realized she didn't. That something wasn't quite right. And she's really come into herself since she's been spending time with you. It's actually been good to see."

Deacon rubbed his face, then smiled. "She's helped me too, you know. Helped me come out of myself more." He shook his head. "But she's so smart, Ray. I don't know if I can keep up with her."

Rayna looked surprised. "She gets that from you, babe. The book smarts, I'm not sure where that comes from." She laughed a little. "But the instincts and the intelligence, she gets that from you. You were always so good at reading people and getting to the core of stuff." She sighed. "The older she got, the more I could see all of that so clearly. And I felt so guilty about keeping you apart. Especially now that I see how happy she is, happier than I've ever seen her." Her voice hitched. "You know, she told me right at the beginning that this was my mistake. She was right. And now we're fixing that."

Deacon looked at her and just nodded. He was past blaming her; he was just glad they were working together now. "So we're going to do this?" he asked.

"Well, I'm going to talk to Teddy about it. He's not going to like it and I'm sure he'll fight it. But I'm going to get him to see that it's the right thing to do. For Maddie." She took a deep breath. "He's still having a hard time understanding that he needs to think about Maddie first. He's so afraid he'll lose her." She looked serious. "He's been a good dad to her, Deacon. I mean, he knew she was yours and yet he still loved her like she was his own."

Deacon nodded. "I know." He couldn't think of anything else to say.

"So, I'll let you know." She reached for his hand and squeezed it lightly. "We'll work it out. I promise."

* * *

Teddy stood up and smiled when Rayna walked into his office. He walked over to her and gave her a quick hug and a peck on the cheek. "Rayna, it's good to see you. But you don't have to make an appointment to come in."

Rayna smiled back. "Well, it seemed a little presumptuous of me to just stop by. I mean, we're not married anymore."

Teddy shrugged a little and gestured towards one of the chairs in front of his desk. He took the other one. "So what brings you here? Something about the girls?"

Rayna took a deep breath. "Just Maddie." Teddy looked at her questioningly. "Um, Maddie has asked if she can have some visitation with Deacon."

Teddy's pleasant expression turned dark. "No," he said firmly. "I will not allow it. It's bad enough you're letting her see him at all. He promised me he would not interfere."

Rayna gave him an exasperated look. "Well, Teddy, it's not really that he's interfering. But Maddie _is_ his daughter." She made a gesture of resignation with her hands. "Besides, this is Maddie's request."

Teddy raised his eyebrows. "Maddie's request? Prompted by Claybourne, I'm certain."

"No, this is all Maddie," Rayna said shaking her head. "And I think we need to let her do this."

Teddy stood up and started to pace. "Rayna, I can't believe you're even entertaining this ridiculous idea. He's a drunk. He nearly killed you not so long ago, in case you have forgotten."

Rayna looked down at her hands. "Teddy, _I_ was driving the car. It wasn't Deacon. You know that."

"But he was in the car and he was drunk. If not for that, it would never have happened. And there's no way I'm going to put _my_ daughter in harm's way with that loser."

"Teddy, I understand that you're upset, but we really need to respect Maddie's wishes here."

"She's a child, Rayna. We have to be the responsible parents and make these decisions for her." He turned and looked carefully at Rayna. "Is this so that you can mend _your_ relationship with him?"

Rayna made a face. "Of course not! I'm seeing Luke Wheeler, you know that. And Deacon has a girlfriend. This is about Maddie and what she wants. And she's not a child, she's a teenager. With a mind of her own. Just remember, Teddy, that if you tell her no, she will resent you. You need to figure out a way to make this okay for her."

Teddy looked at her in disbelief. "I can't believe you're acting so cavalier about this, Rayna. After everything you went through with him. And he proved to you, when he found out he was Maddie's biological father, that you were right when you kept him out of her life. And now you want to hand our daughter over to him?"

Rayna's eyes were flashing. She struggled to keep her voice down so that the people outside Teddy's office wouldn't hear them. "I'm _not_ being cavalier, Teddy! But I am _not_ going to lose my daughter over this. She has been hurt by everything that's happened and I'm not going to hurt her anymore. If you insist on keeping her away from him, she will turn away from you and towards him. Completely. She won't be your daughter anymore. Don't do this, Teddy."

"I don't trust the guy, Rayna." He looked at her again. "You know what this can mean, don't you? If they're seen together in public, people are going to ask questions. And then all that nastiness comes out and who gets hurt? Maddie." He shook his head. "I can't believe you're even asking me to agree to this."

Rayna nodded solemnly. "It's a risk. We'll just have to be prepared to deal with it. But we need to trust Maddie on this. She has promised me that if there's even the hint of a problem with Deacon that she will let me know. Teddy, we need to let her do this. If we don't, she's going to turn away from us."

Teddy walked over to the window and looked out. He was quiet for several minutes. Rayna watched him, but didn't say a word. Finally he turned back. "If I agree to this, I don't want to have to interact with him."

Rayna shook her head. "I'll pick her up and take her there."

"And only two nights."

Rayna sighed. "Three nights, Teddy." She got up and walked over to him. "I know you don't want to do this. And I'm scared too. But we have to trust Maddie. And even though I know you don't, I do trust that Deacon will do the right thing by her. This is important to him."

Teddy shook his head. "I'm a complete idiot to agree to this, Rayna. If it blows up in our faces, it's all on you."

Rayna nodded, then reached out and squeezed his forearm. "Thank you, Teddy." And she turned and walked out.


	4. Chapter 4

Rayna walked out and got in her car. She pulled her phone out of her purse and scrolled down to Deacon's name. After she hit "call", she lifted the phone to her ear. He answered, sounding a little out of breath. "Hey," she said with a tiny frown. "Did I get you in the middle of something?"

"No, it's ok," he responded. "I'm at the Bluebird with Avery, working on some stuff."

"Oh, okay." She tried to push back the fact that she felt relieved she hadn't interrupted him doing…something…with Megan. "I just talked to Teddy."

"Yeah?"

"Well, he wasn't happy about it. But I did get him to agree."

"Wow, that's great, Ray. I kinda thought he'd really dig his heels in."

Rayna looked down in her lap and picked at her skirt. "He did bring up something that I don't think we really talked about much." She breathed in. "The whole idea that people will start talking when they see you and Maddie together. I think we may have to consider that this is going to come out, that you're her father."

Deacon was silent for a moment. "What are you worried about?" he asked finally.

"I just think it's not going to be pleasant," she said. "I worry about Maddie being hurt by things people will say."

"What do you want to do about it?"

Rayna sighed. "I'm not sure. I think I'm going to talk to Bucky and Tandy about it. Which means, I'll have to tell Bucky."

Deacon let out a short laugh. "Come on, Ray. Do you really think he hasn't guessed already? I mean, nobody's been closer to you than him. I'm sure he had his suspicions."

Rayna shrugged. "Maybe. I guess. In any case, I'll see what he says." She put on her sunglasses and started her car. "So, next week. I'll pick Maddie up on Thursday at Teddy's and bring her to your house. And you'll bring her home on Sunday."

Deacon smiled. "Sounds good, Ray. Thanks."

"Sure. I'll see you then." She disconnected the call.

* * *

As Rayna headed towards home, she suddenly felt a cold chill run through her. She thought about Juliette Barnes and the PR nightmare that had erupted after her affair with Charlie Wentworth had gone public. It had practically destroyed her career. She could only imagine what would happen when the public at large found out that she'd had Deacon's baby and concealed it from him, passing her off as Teddy's. And then maintained the cover-up for nearly fourteen years. She could think of no way to soften the story, even though both Maddie and Deacon had moved past it.

She felt sick to her stomach. She knew she was being selfish, worrying about the fallout for herself. She had promised Maddie she'd make this right for her. But she was just going to have to push through it. Deep down inside, she knew that there was no way this was going to stay a secret.

* * *

When Maddie got home, she came and sat next to Rayna in the den. "Did you talk to him?" she asked eagerly. She knew her mom was meeting Teddy.

Rayna nodded. "I did. And, like I told you, he wasn't happy about it. But I got him to agree."

Maddie threw her arms around her mom. "Thank you, Mom! This is so great!" She sat back and beamed at her mom, who gave her a small smile. She hadn't been sure that Rayna would come through for her, but she had.

"I need to talk to you about something, though." Rayna took Maddie's hand. "If you're going to be spending a whole weekend with Deacon, I know you two will be out and about. And people will see the two of you together and wonder about it."

Maddie looked confused. "So? He's my dad. It would be normal."

"Maddie, you know we haven't said anything about all the details. It could be a really big deal."

Maddie narrowed her eyes. "For _you_," she said. "This is all about _you_. I didn't do anything wrong."

Rayna exhaled. She could see this was still a sticky subject. "Yes, that's true. But you'll still hear it."

"I hope you're not going to ask me to pretend my dad isn't my dad."

Rayna looked away. "No, of course not," she said finally. "I just wanted you to know."

Maddie's face was carefully neutral. Rayna was struck by how much she looked like Deacon in that moment. "Well, now you've told me," Maddie said. "It doesn't change anything. I'm not going to lie if people ask." She stood up. "I've got homework," she said and turned and walked off.

Rayna watched her leave, her heart in her throat. Maddie was right. It _was_ about her. But she was running a label now, had sunk everything she had into it. If she lost it all, it could be devastating to all of them, not just her. She needed to be prepared. She picked up her phone and called Bucky. When she got his voice mail, she said, "Buck, we need to talk. I think there's going to be some trouble soon and we need to talk about how to handle it."

* * *

Maddie got to her room and threw her book bag down on the bed, then threw herself on it, wrapping her arms around her waist and frowning. She knew her mom was somehow going to ruin this. And she had. Now she was supposed to be all careful and everything so that the "great Rayna Jaymes" didn't suffer. But what about her? She'd missed out on a whole life with her real dad because of her mom's decisions. And now she had to pretend he wasn't her dad. Oh, yeah, she knew her mom said that wasn't the case, but how could it not be? What was she supposed to do? She felt like crying.

"Hey, Maddie." Maddie turned towards the door and saw Daphne hovering there. She couldn't help but smile. It was hard not to smile around Daphne.

"Hey," she answered. "Come on in."

Daphne's face broke into a smile and she ran over and jumped up on Maddie's bed, sliding over to sit next to her older sister. "I'm glad you're home. Mom's been a downer." She rolled her eyes.

Maddie laughed. "Duh. She's a mom. I think that's her job, or something." She reached around and hugged her sister. "So I'm going to start spending some time with Deacon, like we spend time with Dad."

Daphne scrunched up her face. "You are? When?"

"Well, half of Dad's week."

Daphne's face fell. "I wish you weren't," she said sadly.

Maddie sighed. "I know you don't. But you know, Deacon is my real dad. And I really want to get to know him better."

"Why can't I go too?"

"Because, silly, he's not your dad. Just mine. You'll stay with Dad."

Daphne sighed. "This is really confusing."

Maddie was thoughtful. "Maybe. Not really to me, though. It's really what I want."

"Doesn't Dad care?"

"Yeah, he does. But he's not my real dad. So he kind of had to agree to this."

Daphne rubbed her eyes. "Does this mean you aren't going to be my sister anymore?" she asked, her voice quivering just a little.

Maddie hugged Daphne close to her. "You know I'll always be your sister, Daphne."

"My _half_-sister," Daphne said sadly, a tear running down her cheek.

Maddie frowned. "Who told you that? You're my whole sister, even if we do have different dads." She brushed Daphne's tears away, then leaned down to her. "It's you and me, against the world." Daphne looked up at her and smiled hesitantly. Maddie hugged her close.

So much had changed in just a few short months. Maddie tried to act like she understood it all and was all grown-up about it, but the truth was that she was still trying to find her own way in this topsy-turvy landscape that had become her life. She'd gone through her own feelings of confusion relative to her sister, because, while the biological relationship was different, the real relationship, the bond they had, hadn't changed at all. But now, through this new lens, everything was upside down. When she looked at Teddy and Daphne together, she saw a bond that she knew she no longer shared. A part of her was sad about that, because it was familiar and all she'd ever known. And it had also made her feel disconnected and unsure of exactly what her place was. So she was excited about being part of Deacon's life.

She had asked her mother one night, when it was just the two of them, if Deacon would ever look at her the way Teddy looked at Daphne. She had wanted to know more, but everything after the accident felt raw and unfocused. She had thought that knowing who her real father was would solve everything, but it hadn't. Finding out that Deacon was an alcoholic, that he'd gotten so drunk that he had caused her mom to get distracted and crash the vehicle they were in, and all that went on in the aftermath of that, had confused her, but it had also been embarrassing. Teddy had always been someone she could count on, who never really disappointed her, and only embarrassed her the way parents normally did. This was different. It was uncharted territory and she had felt so unsure. But then she found herself needing to know more. Which was when she'd started searching the internet and listening to Deacon's music. Trying to figure out where she'd come from.

The pictures had been the real eye-opener. Even as inexperienced as she was about matters of the heart, she could see something between her mom and Deacon that she'd never seen between the parents she'd grown up with. It made her want to know more at the same time that she felt like she'd walked in on something she shouldn't have. _That_ was what love was. Even she could see it. It wasn't anything she'd ever seen between her mom and Teddy. Knowing she'd come from that caused something to change inside her. It made her want to know Deacon better, but it also made her realize that there was a part of her mom she hadn't known.

Maddie had always felt a little like she was in a cage. Like she had to behave a certain way, that she had to control that urge to be more free-spirited. When she'd discovered music, she knew that was going to be her life, but she hadn't really been certain where that desire had come from. She knew some of it came from her mom, but it was more than that. And now she knew where it came from. So she needed to know more. A lot more. And it was taking her away from Teddy and Daphne and she had mixed feelings about that. But when her mom finally understood what she needed and had taken her to see Deacon for the first time, she felt like the puzzle pieces were finally falling into place.

Seeing her dad on stage at The Bluebird Café had been thrilling. She'd grown up listening to him sing and play and had always thought he was great, but now she felt proud. This was her dad! And he was amazing! And now she was going to get to really be part of his life and he would be part of hers. She looked down at the top of Daphne's head and she felt a little sad that her sister wouldn't share in this. Her sister, who shared everything with her, wasn't part of this at all. It felt heartbreaking at the same time that it felt exhilarating. She smiled to herself. She couldn't wait for the next step.

* * *

Scarlett found Deacon standing in the bedroom that would be Maddie's. Even though it had a bed and bedroom furniture in it, he had used it to store his guitars. He'd moved those out and now the room seemed, to him, to be a little bare. "What are you thinking about?" she asked him from the doorway.

He turned, with a confused look on his face. "Should I decorate in here? Or something else?" he asked.

Scarlett smiled. "Why don't we go shopping for a few things? Just to make it look a little cozier in here. I'll go with you."

Deacon looked relieved. "That would be great. Can we go now?"

Scarlett giggled. "Of course. Let's go."

When they got to the store, Deacon looked around, a little bewildered. "I don't know what to get," he said. "What does a fourteen year-old like?"

Scarlett smiled. "Music, clothes, magazines, talking on the phone." She looked at him. "Boys." She watched his face.

He frowned. "Maddie's not into boys, Rayna said. Which is good."

Scarlett laughed. "Only a daddy for six months and already you're gonna make life miserable for any boy that looks at Maddie."

Deacon looked at her and scowled. "She's too young."

Scarlett just looked at him and smiled. She was so glad Rayna had agreed to this. She hadn't seen her uncle this happy in a long time.

As they walked around the store, Deacon felt out of his depth. They walked towards the music section and he asked, "Should I get her a record player? I do know she likes music."

Scarlett gave him a funny look. "A record player? Deacon, I don't think they even make those anymore. A sound dock would be good."

Deacon frowned. "A what?"

Scarlett rolled her eyes. "For her iPod." She peered at him. "You do know what an iPod is, right?"

Deacon scowled. "Yes, I do. I'm not that out of touch."

Scarlett smirked as he picked up what she'd pointed out. In the bedding department, he asked, "Pink stuff? Should we get pink stuff?"

"Deacon, she's not a little girl."

Deacon sighed. "She's _my_ little girl."

Scarlett shook her head. "Just leave it be. We'll let her decide."

He nodded. "Well, what about stuffed animals?"

"Not a little girl, Deacon."

Deacon gave her a look. "I'm getting it anyway." He picked up a fluffy white bear and put it in the cart.

They finally left with what Scarlett thought was right and what Deacon thought was not enough, but he figured they could go back later for more. Back at Deacon's, they fixed up her room so that it was ready for her.

"I hope she likes it," Deacon said, working his lip.

Scarlett reached in and hugged him. "She's gonna love it. Because her daddy did this for her."

Deacon's face got red. "I hope so," he murmured, feeling both anxious and excited.

* * *

Rayna drove over to Teddy's to pick up Maddie for her first visit with Deacon. She felt anxious, both for the visit to go well and for all of the unknowns. Bucky and Tandy had tried to calm her fears and had convinced her to wait and see how things went, but she couldn't help but be nervous. She wondered what mood Maddie would be in, whether Teddy would have tried to sway her from doing this. She had gotten about halfway up the walk when the front door opened and Maddie stalked out, her face a thundercloud of anger.

"Thank God, you're here," she said as she headed for Rayna's car.

Rayna stood open-mouthed as she watched Maddie walk past her, get in the car and slam the door. Then Teddy appeared on the porch. She gave him a concerned look. "What happened here?" she asked.

Teddy stopped, hands on his hips, a frown on his face. "I told her she didn't have to do this. That neither one of us would be there to protect her when things went wrong," he said irritably.

Rayna frowned. "Why in the world would you say something like that, Teddy? You're only going to push her away."

Teddy gave her a sarcastic smile. "She's living in a fairy tale world, Rayna, as are you. She thinks they'll sit around playing guitars all day. He has no clue what it means to raise a child and you're just handing her over, to be subjected to God knows what."

Rayna fumed. "Stop it, Teddy. Deacon is her father. He doesn't want to hurt her. He just wants to spend time getting to know her."

"She doesn't have to stay there for that. What if he goes on a bender?"

Rayna clenched her fists and slung them down. "Stop it!" She was furious. "Stop it right now! That's not going to happen. Plus Scarlett is there. It's not like she'll be all alone."

Teddy shook his head. "Well, it's a done deal now. I think we're all going to be very sorry we agreed to this before it's all over. I have a very bad feeling."

Rayna glared at him and turned to walk back to her car, without saying another word. When she got in the car, Maddie was sitting with her head down. Rayna reached for her hand and Maddie looked up at her, her eyes red from crying. "Mom, why does he have to be like this?" she wailed.

Rayna sighed. "He's afraid he's losing you, Maddie. He's just scared. He's been your dad your whole life and he loves you so much."

"But acting like this isn't helping," she cried. "I just need him to understand that it doesn't have anything to do with him. It's about Deacon and me." She swiped at her eyes, then looked down again. "Can we just go to Deacon's?" she asked.

Rayna nodded. "Yes, we can." She backed out of the driveway, noticing that Teddy had apparently gone back inside. Maddie was quiet during the ride to East Nashville and Rayna decided to let her be. When they arrived, Maddie opened the door, grabbed her things and ran up the steps, Rayna trailing behind.

Deacon opened the door with a big smile on his face. "Hey, Maddie!" he called out and she went running into his arms. She buried her face in his chest and he looked up at Rayna with confusion.

Rayna shook her head and frowned. "It got a little emotional, that's all."

Deacon frowned. "Rayna, if…"

Rayna waved her hand and rolled her eyes. "It's okay. It'll be okay. I'll handle it."

Just then Scarlett appeared at the door. Rayna caught her eye and smiled at her. Deacon turned slightly. "Maddie, you remember Scarlett, right?"

Maddie smiled and went over to hug Scarlett. "Yeah, I remember. She works with my mom."

Scarlett hugged her tight. "I'm so glad you're here, Maddie," she said. "We've got everything ready for you."

Maddie looked back at Deacon. He ran his hand over his face and smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, we tried fixing up your room, but you can always change things around if you want."

Maddie beamed. "I have my own room?"

"Well, of course, you do," Deacon replied. "Do you want to see it?"

"Yes!"

Deacon picked up her overnight bag and followed her and Scarlett in the house. Then he turned back. Rayna was still standing on the porch. "Come on in and take a look. I gave her the, uh, guitar room."

Rayna raised her eyebrows and then nodded slightly. Of course, every room in this house had some kind of memories associated with it and that one was no different. She walked in and followed them up the stairs. Maddie was already in the room with Scarlett and she turned as her mom and dad walked in together.

"I love it!" she said with a big smile. "It's perfect!"

Deacon set her bag down. "Well, if there's anything you think you need, we can get it. I didn't know what colors you liked, so we left it like it is for now." He nodded towards Scarlett. "Scarlett helped me pick out things we thought you'd like."

"It's great." She looked at her mom. "Mom, isn't it great?"

Rayna smiled and nodded her head. "It's awesome, Maddie." She looked around the room. Some things had changed over the years – Deacon had painted it and pulled up the carpet that had been in it before. The furniture was still the same. The bed was the single bed that he'd had in his apartment when she moved in. The bed they'd slept in together, not caring that it was small because they were happy to snuggle tightly together. And the dresser, the chair…. She had to look away. Somehow she hadn't considered that Maddie would be living in the midst of all her and Deacon's shared history.

"Did you live here, Mom?" Maddie asked.

Rayna looked back at her, then at Deacon, then back at Maddie. She nodded her head. "I did," she said, with a hitch in her voice. She took a deep breath. "Your dad and I bought this house together after I headlined my first tour."

Maddie looked at Deacon. "That's neat that you kept it," she said.

Deacon nodded, aware that this was uncomfortable for Rayna. "It's a great house," he said.

Rayna smiled at Maddie then and walked over to hug her daughter. "Listen, I need to get going. But you have a great weekend. And I'll see you Sunday. I'll be looking forward to hearing all about it."

Maddie smiled up at her. "Thanks, Mom."

Rayna let her go and then turned to walk out. She was surprised at the emotions she was feeling. It wasn't that she hadn't been in Deacon's house since she'd moved out, because, of course, she had. But seeing Maddie here had been more painful than she had imagined it would be. It made her wonder what could have been. She didn't realize Deacon had followed her until she got to the front door and he reached out to open it for her. She looked at him, his eyes full of compassion and gratitude.

"Thanks for doing this, Ray," he said softly.

She nodded and started out the door. Then she stopped and turned back for a moment. "Just be careful with her. I know you want this to work out well, but just remember you have plenty of time. You don't have to do everything in one weekend. Just take it slow." He nodded at her and she turned and walked briskly down the steps and out to her car.


	5. Chapter 5

_**I didn't think I'd be able to update this soon, but thanks to a snow/ice day yesterday, I had some time on my hands. It might take longer for the next chapter. Thanks to all who have reviewed; much appreciated!**_

"What kind of food do you like, Maddie?" Deacon asked. "I thought maybe you, me and Scarlett would go out to dinner."

Maddie thought for a moment. "Mexican?" she said.

Deacon smiled. "Mexican, it is then. So, uh, do you have any homework or anything that you need to do?"

"A little. I have some math homework." She made a face. "Not my best subject."

Deacon frowned. "Do you need a desk or something? We can get one, if you need it."

Maddie shook her head. "I usually just sit on my bed and do homework."

"Okay, then. Well, why don't you do homework now and then we'll go eat."

Maddie smiled. "That sounds good." Deacon hesitated just a moment and then turned to walk out, turning back to raise his hand in kind of a wave. Maddie smiled at him and then, when he left, she pulled her book bag up on the bed and sat down. She looked around the room, thinking about the fact that her parents had lived here together. She hadn't really thought about that, but it was one more piece in that complicated process towards learning more about where she came from. She pulled her iPad out and turned it on. She knew she should probably do her math homework, but she also knew she could get it done during her study hall the next day.

As she typically did, she entered "Deacon Claybourne Rayna Jaymes" into her browser and waited for it to load with hits. The most current ones were about the accident, so she looked farther back. There weren't a lot of stories about them. It seemed they didn't stir up a lot of press back when they were together. But there was a story from 1995 that talked about Deacon's second trip to rehab and speculation about their relationship.

"_Deacon Claybourne, the bandleader for country's #1 artist, Rayna Jaymes, headed back to rehab for the second time. Speculation is that she is paying for this stint, his second in two years. Claybourne has a long history of alcohol abuse and has a habit of missing shows. On Jaymes's latest tour, supporting her album 'End of the Day', he missed multiple shows and was drunk on stage more than once._

"_When asked about it, Jaymes wouldn't give any comment other than to say 'Deacon's had some personal issues that he needs to deal with. I'm looking forward to his return.'_

"_There has long been speculation that the two are an item, but neither will confirm. However, it's known that they bought a house together in East Nashville, where they both live._

"_Jaymes is the daughter of Nashville business tycoon Lamar Wyatt and his late wife Virginia Jaymes Wyatt."_

She skimmed through a few more articles, but they were all similar and short. She went back to the pictures and found the one she had saved to her picture file. It was obviously a candid shot and clearly they did not know it was being taken. The shot was not well-lit, but her mom's red-gold hair was clearly visible. It was backstage after a show; her mom was still in her short rhinestone dress and heels, her dad had slung his guitar on his back. They were kissing. Her mom was pressed against a wall and had her arms wrapped around her dad's neck, one foot and ankle wrapped around his. Her dad's hand was high on her mom's leg, pushing against the hem of her dress. It made her feel uncomfortable to look at it, because it was so clearly personal. But it was one of those pictures that gave her a glimpse into their world. It made her want to know what had gone so terribly wrong between them that led to everything that happened before she was born. They had loved each other, that much was clear, loved each other in a way that overwhelmed her.

Maddie wondered what it had been like for them back in those days. Her mother didn't give her a lot of information, so she wondered if maybe she could find out more from Deacon. She really was interested in their lives together. She wanted to hear about the good times, about how they met, about when they knew they loved each other. She hoped to be able to ask a lot of those questions during the weekend.

She reached for her phone and called her friend Talia. "Hey, Talia," she said when her friend answered. "I'm at my dad's."

"Your real dad's?" Talia asked. Talia was her best friend and was the only person she'd told about Deacon. She was the one Maddie had called the night she'd found the paternity test that said Teddy wasn't her father.

"Yeah," Maddie said with a smile. "I have my own room!"

"That's great. So, how is it so far?"

"Good. We're going to go out to dinner tonight. And I think I'm going to meet his girlfriend this weekend."

"Wow. That'll be kind of weird."

"Yeah, I guess." Maddie sighed. "I hope she's better than my mom's boyfriend."

"Oh, they all suck." Talia's parents were divorced and had both remarried. She had spent hours complaining to Maddie about her mom's boring husband and the bimbo her dad had left her mom for. "So have you gotten any more info?"

Maddie shook her head. "Not yet. I hope we'll have some time so I can ask some questions."

"What are you going to ask? About what happened when you were born?"

"I think I want to know first about when they were together. Kind of start from the beginning, you know?"

"Yeah, that makes sense." Talia was quiet for a second. "This is just so unreal, Mad. It's like you're in a soap opera, you know?"

Maddie sighed. "I hate it, Talia. All the lying. But now I just want to know what really happened. You know…I think they still might love each other. It's just all so confusing though."

"Yeah."

"So. I'm gonna go. I need to do some homework."

"See you tomorrow, Maddie."

"Bye." Maddie clicked off and put her phone down on the bed. She sat, looking off at nothing, for a moment, as she thought about being in her dad's house, in _her_ bedroom. She was excited, but she was also a little apprehensive. So much was unknown. She was looking forward to learning more and hopefully finding out more of the incredibly private life that was Deacon Claybourne's and Rayna Jaymes's.

* * *

Deacon pulled into Mas Tacos with Maddie and Scarlett. They got out and went in, getting seated right away. Deacon ordered agua frescas for all three. Maddie had never had one and she tentatively took a sip of the beverage. She wrinkled her nose as she let the flavors settle on her tongue.

"Watermelon and lime," Deacon said. "Do you like it?"

Maddie swallowed and then she smiled. "I do," she said. "I really do." She was seated next to Scarlett and across from her dad. He smiled at her, his eyes crinkling happily. "What kind of taco do you recommend?"

"I like the fried avocado one." Maddie made a face and he laughed. "But their cast-iron chicken taco is great. I bet you'd like that."

Scarlett leaned in. "I'm with you on the avocado thing. Yuck. So slimy."

Maddie laughed. "Yeah, it is. I've never liked them. Mom loves them though." She looked at Deacon as though to confirm.

Deacon nodded. "Yes, she does. She was the one that got me to try them years ago."

"Really?" Maddie looked interested.

Deacon remembered his conversation with Rayna about Maddie wanting to know more about them. He thought it might get more complicated eventually, but he was glad to tell Maddie a fun tidbit of information. "Yeah, I never had them growing up. We lived kind of in the middle of nowhere and didn't have fancy food, ever. So your mama and I were singing somewhere, I don't even know where anymore, and we went to a hole in the wall Mexican place. Kind of like this place. She asked for avocado on the side and offered me some. I said no and so she made me try it." He shrugged. "And I liked it." He smiled at her. "She didn't make you try things?"

Maddie rolled her eyes. "Oh, yeah, I had to try it. But it was gross." She stuck her tongue out.

Just then the server came back and took their orders. Maddie surprised Deacon by asking for some avocado "on the side". He looked at her questioningly and she shrugged. "Maybe I'll try it again. You never know. I am older now." She smiled at him.

While they waited for their food, Maddie decided to start asking questions. "So, Dad," she said, "how did you and Mom meet?"

Deacon was happy she'd started with a pretty easy one. "I met her at The Bluebird. She was there for an open mic night. Watty had invited me to meet her, although I didn't know she was the one he wanted me to meet."

Maddie perked up. "Uncle Watty wanted to fix y'all up?" she asked.

Deacon laughed. "Oh, no, nothing like that. He wanted me to hear her sing. Turns out she needed a guitar player and he thought I would fit the bill."

"Did she play guitar that night?"

Deacon nodded. "Yeah. It was pretty obvious why he thought she needed a guitar player."

Maddie laughed. "She's definitely not very good." Then she looked thoughtful. "What did you think of her?"

"Well, truthfully, Watty didn't tell me which girl I was listening for. So when your mama came out, I just thought she was this really pretty young girl. She had a really good voice, I thought. It wasn't until afterwards that I found out she was the one Watty wanted me to meet."

"So you thought she was pretty?"

Deacon smiled at her. He couldn't help but think how much Maddie reminded him of Rayna then. Not her look so much as her openness and her eagerness, the sweetness. It made his heart clench for a moment. "Yeah, she was real pretty. She seemed a little nervous, so I thought she was shy. And quiet." He laughed softly and looked down, before looking back up at Maddie. "She was definitely not shy. Or quiet. She _was_ nervous though."

Maddie looked entranced. "So what did you think when you listened to her sing?"

Deacon ran a hand over his mouth. "I thought she had the prettiest voice I'd ever heard. And she had this great big smile – like yours – and that just made me like her even more."

Maddie beamed. "And so you wrote 'A Life That's Good' for her, right?"

Deacon had taken a sip of his agua fresca and choked. "How did you know that?" he asked finally.

"I found a story about it. And then I asked Mom. She said you did. Is it true you wrote it on a napkin?"

The server came by just then with their food, which gave Deacon a few minutes to think about how he wanted to respond. Not only Maddie was interested in his answer; Scarlett was too. He realized that, although he and Rayna had seen Scarlett when she was little, she really hadn't known the two of them when they were together either. When everything was in place, Deacon was ready to take a bite, but he noticed that Maddie and Scarlett were both looking at him, waiting for an answer.

"Oh," he said, putting the taco back down. He grinned a little sheepishly. "Well, yeah, I guess I did do that. All these words came in my head and the napkin was just there, so…" He shrugged a little and picked the taco up again.

Maddie smiled. "Why did you write it?"

He put the taco back down. She was definitely persistent. It made him smile a little, because he knew he could be the same way. "Well, I saw her up there and I just thought she looked like someone you'd want to build a life with. Someone good and kind and sweet." He gave a short laugh. "Course, then I got to know her better and found out she was kind of feisty and bossy and not as sweet all the time as I thought."

"Did you change your mind about the song? Or did you still think about that? With her?"

Deacon took a deep breath. She was making him think about things he thought he'd pushed down far enough now that he didn't have to think about them all the time. "Well, Maddie, to tell you the truth, I thought for a very long time that that song was exactly what I wanted. And that I wanted it with her. But sometimes things change." He looked at her and saw her smile fade. But he had to be honest. The truth was that song was still what he wanted, but it wasn't to be. So he had to move on. He reached for the taco and took a bite, letting the silence settle for a bit while all three of them ate.

Maddie took a sip of her drink, then said, "Blue."

Deacon looked puzzled. "What?"

"Blue, I like blue. And red. No pink. You said you didn't know what colors I like." She smiled. "Just no pink. My room at home is pink but I can't convince Mom to change it. She still thinks I'm a little girl."

Scarlett winked at Deacon. "Well," he said. "I guess it's a good thing that we didn't buy what _I_ wanted to buy, because I would have bought pink. I thought all girls liked pink."

Maddie laughed. "Daphne does. But I don't really. But I can't get Mom to believe me."

"Well, what _do_ you like? Other than colors. What do you like to do?"

"Play the guitar," she said with a broad grin. "And sing. And write songs. Like you."

Deacon grinned at her. "I'm glad we can share that. What's your favorite subject in school?"

She thought about that for a minute. "History, I think. And English. I'm not a fan of math or science."

"But I bet you make good grades in both."

She shrugged and gave him a shy smile. "I guess." She looked over at the plate of avocado slices then. "I guess I should try these," she said apprehensively. She sighed and picked up her fork.

"Wait!" Deacon said. He picked up a slice of lime from his plate and reached over, squeezing it on the avocado. Then he sprinkled a little salt. "That's how I like them."

Maddie took a deep breath and then cut a small bite with her fork, lifting it to her mouth. She hesitated and then put it in her mouth. She chewed a little bit, then swallowed. Deacon raised his eyebrows. She shrugged. "It was ok," she said. "Not as bad as I remember it." Deacon grinned. She pointed her fork at him and smiled playfully. "But _don't_ add it to the menu at home."

_Home_. He liked the sound of that. And so did she. And so did Scarlett, who felt like her heart would burst watching her uncle with the daughter he'd never known was his, learning how to be a daddy on the fly. She'd been worried when he'd first told her Maddie was his daughter. He had seemed to want to stay far, far away from that, but she'd realized later that he was afraid. Afraid to be a dad, afraid he would disappoint his daughter, but mostly afraid he would disappoint Rayna. But he and Maddie seemed to be developing a nice relationship and she was happy to be able to witness it.

They ordered one last round of agua frescas. Maddie wasn't done with her questions. "So what was it like when you actually met Mom the first time?" she asked. "I know you said that you thought she was pretty and all, but when you actually met her."

Deacon thought about how to answer. "I guess I was a little nervous. When I got closer to her, I realized she was younger than I thought."

"Sixteen," Maddie said.

Deacon smiled. "Well, actually she wasn't even quite sixteen. Just a couple months shy of it. I didn't know that at first. But she was really young. She seemed older in some ways though. I think that was because of where she grew up. She had good manners and all that." He was struggling a little, because he couldn't tell his daughter that when he first met Rayna he'd fallen head over heels in love with her. That he wanted to kiss her and make love to her. Those were things he was going to try to keep her from doing, so he didn't want to tell her that her mama was the sexiest woman he'd ever laid eyes on.

Maddie grinned. "Did you fall in love at first sight?"

Deacon shook his head and smiled. _Damn, she was persistent!_ "Maybe a little," he said.

"She told me she fell in love right away." Deacon raised his eyebrows. She'd always told him that, but he'd never been sure he believed her. "How long were you together?" she asked, looking serious.

He took a deep breath. "Ten or eleven years," he said quietly.

Maddie looked thoughtful. "That's a long time," she said finally. She didn't say anything else, just let that roll around in her head. She wondered what had made them break up, but she didn't want to go there yet. Math might not have been her favorite subject, but she had calculated quickly and knew that was around the time her mom would have gotten pregnant. It could wait. She had a lot more she wanted to know.

* * *

When they got back to Deacon's house, Maddie went upstairs to get ready for bed. She noticed the little stuffed teddy bear sitting on the dresser and picked it up. At the knock on the door, she turned to see Deacon standing there. She smiled. "Hey," she said.

He smiled back. "Hey. I just wanted to come tell you good night."

Maddie looked down at the bear and then back at him. "Did you buy this for me?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Scarlett told me you were too old for stuff like that."

She smiled shyly and shook her head. "You're never too old when it comes from your dad."

Deacon felt a lump in his throat. It was times like these when he wished he had a how-to manual for being a dad, because he wasn't completely sure what the correct response should be. He didn't know what to say to her, so he just walked over and put his hands on her shoulders, leaning down to give her a kiss on the forehead. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him and, after a second, he did the same. When she stepped back, he took a breath and said, "Don't forget to set your alarm. We need to leave at seven to get you to school."

Maddie smiled. "It's already set."

"Good night, Maddie. I'm really glad you're here."

"Me too. Good night, Dad."

He closed the door and she went over to the bed and crawled under the covers. She laid there for a moment thinking about the fact that she was spending the night in her dad's house for the first time, the house where he and her mom had lived together once, and she smiled to herself. Then she reached over and turned out the light. But it was a long time before she finally fell asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Rayna frowned slightly when she heard her phone ring. Reluctantly she turned on her other side and picked it up. She saw that it was Deacon and sighed. "Hey," she said. "Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong. It's all good." He breathed out. "So I just wanted you to know she's asking questions about us. How we met, how I felt about you, that kind of stuff. I don't want to say the wrong thing."

Rayna sighed silently. She knew he was nervous, but this wasn't really a good time for this conversation. "Just be honest," she said, her voice flat.

Deacon frowned. "That's all? No words of wisdom?"

"Just say what you're comfortable with."

He felt a little annoyed, but pressed on. "I thought about what you said about being out in public, so Scarlett's going to take her to school."

Rayna closed her eyes for a moment. She did feel a sense of relief about that. "Good. That's a good plan."

He wasn't sure, but he sensed she didn't really want to talk. "Um…"

"Is there anything else?" she asked.

He scowled. "No. That's all."

"Okay. Bye." And she hung up. She knew she'd been abrupt, but it had felt so awkward talking to him right then. She laid there a moment, then turned back to Luke's questioning eyes.

"Everything ok?" he asked.

She smiled, her performance smile. "Yeah. How come dads always need help?" she asked teasingly.

Luke chuckled and reached for her. "We just always have our minds focused on other…more pleasant things," he said, sliding his hand down to show her what those more pleasant things were.

She moaned at his touch, letting him distract her, hoping it would make her stop thinking about the fact that she had just talked to Deacon while she lay naked in bed with Luke. And that it would wipe away that other brief recollection of answering a phone call from Maddie right after making love to Deacon.

* * *

Deacon frowned at the phone. He got the distinct impression Rayna didn't want to talk to him. Things had actually seemed to be going better with them lately, it wasn't so uncomfortable, but she'd practically hung up on him just then. It occurred to him that she was with Luke, something he tried not to think about.

So he scrolled down and found Megan's number. "Hey, you," came her low voice, sounding happy to hear from him.

"Hey," he said with a smile.

"How's everything going? Is Maddie all settled in?"

"Yeah." He cleared his throat. "Yeah, she is. It's good so far. It's good having her here."

"That's great. I know she's going to enjoy it. And you'll be great."

"Thanks." He ran his hand over his mouth. "So I know we talked about you meeting her. What about Saturday night? Dinner."

"That sounds lovely. Do you want to come here and I'll cook?"

He thought about that. It would help from the public aspect, but he was a little put out by Rayna's side of their conversation, so he said, "No. Let's go out somewhere. No place fancy. I'll ask Maddie what she'd like."

"That sounds great. Just let me know where."

Deacon smiled to himself. "Megan? Thanks. For being understanding about her being here and you…not."

"It's perfectly okay. It would be too much for right now. She needs to get used to you and your relationship. There's no hurry on anything else." She paused. "I know you said it was her idea for us to meet, but thank you for agreeing to it. It means a lot to me."

"I know," he said. "_You_ mean a lot to me."

"I'm glad. I'll see you Saturday then."

"Yeah." He disconnected, then sat there for a moment. He took a deep breath and rubbed his face with his hands. He felt out of sorts between the two conversations. He didn't know how he was going to manage this changed relationship with Rayna. And he felt like she was fighting his whole relationship with Maddie, even while she was helping to move it along. It was as though their past, their _whole_ past, made everything too painful to face.

And then there was Megan – so supportive and positive and…healthy. The whole relationship was built on a lack of the drama and angst and highs and lows he'd had with Rayna. He was happy – he'd told her that – and he was. But something was missing. And he didn't want it to be the past.

* * *

Scarlett was sitting on the couch, her legs curled up under her, writing in her journal. When Deacon came in, she closed the notebook and smiled up at him. "She okay?" she asked.

Deacon nodded his head and sat on the other end of the couch. "Yeah, she's good." He looked away and ran his hand over his mouth. "Rayna's been all worried about people seeing me and Maddie and asking questions, so I wanted to ask a favor."

"Sure. What is it?"

"Well, would you be willing to get up and drive her to school?" He looked at her and hurriedly said, "I know I'm imposing and everything, but…"

"It's okay," she interrupted him. "I understand and I don't mind. I actually need to stop by and see Rayna anyway in the morning before I head to the studio."

"Thanks." He leaned back and covered his face with his hands. "I hope I'm doing all this right."

Scarlett laughed. "Of course you are, silly. I think Maddie's having a good time so far. And you know, she tried avocado for you."

Deacon looked at her. "For me?"

"Sure. She's trying to see how you two fit. She knows how she fits with her mama. Now she needs to know what came from you."

"Well, I hope she didn't get much from me. I'm not much of a role model."

"Stop it," she chided him. "You're a very caring, loyal person. She'd be lucky to get that from you. In addition to her talent."

"She gets some of that from Rayna," he reminded her.

"Yeah, but she has a musical talent she got from you." She smiled at him. "Just relax. She adores you. You don't have to try so hard."

Deacon nodded, appreciating her support. "Thanks for your help."

She waved him off. "I'm happy to. After all, she's my family too and I'm glad to get to know her better." She swung her legs around onto the floor and stood up. "I better get to bed so I can get up early." She smiled gaily at her uncle and headed upstairs.

* * *

Deacon started cracking eggs into a bowl. "Scarlett! Maddie! Breakfast!" he hollered. He heard a door open and close and someone hurry down the steps. Maddie came into the kitchen in her school uniform, with her book bag slung over her shoulder. He smiled. "Hey. Eggs and bacon. That okay?"

She smiled. "Yeah, that's great. All we ever get is cereal."

Deacon chuckled. "Yeah, your mama isn't much of a cook."

Maddie laughed and shook her head. "No, she's not." She hopped up on one of the stools.

Deacon poured the eggs in the skillet and started scrambling. He turned his head to look at Maddie. "I should probably fess up that I'm not much of a cook either. Eggs and bacon is probably my best dish."

Maddie laughed. "That's okay. Daphne and I are used to it by now. Eggs and bacon will be a treat."

Just then Scarlett bounced into the kitchen and took the stool next to Maddie's. "He makes the best eggs ever," she said to Maddie. She looked back at Deacon, who was now spooning eggs onto plates. "What time do I need to leave to get Maddie to school?"

Deacon saw Maddie's face fall and he felt bad now about his decision to have Scarlett take her. "About seven," he said, then focused on Maddie. "I'm sorry, Maddie, but I've got an appointment on this side of town and Scarlett's going by your mama's, so I asked her to drop you off."

Maddie gave him a small smile. "It's okay," she said and looked at Scarlett. "We can get to know each other better." She also thought she might be able to get more information about Deacon from her.

"Absolutely!" Scarlett said. When Maddie looked down at her plate, she glanced at her uncle. He looked sad as he breathed in. She caught his eye and mouthed "don't worry." But she knew he would think he'd messed this up. She would try to smooth it over.

When Maddie and Scarlett were ready to leave, Deacon wondered what a parent would normally do. He had certainly not had good role models with respect to how to be good parent. He knew he was probably overthinking everything, but he didn't want to mess things up. The good news for him was that Maddie took the lead. She reached in and gave him a hug and he hugged her back.

"Bye, Dad," she said. "See you later."

"Bye, Maddie. Have a good day at school." He walked them out and, watching Scarlett pull out, raised his hand in a wave. Maddie smiled and waved back and then they were gone.

After they'd gone a short ways, Maddie sighed. "Did Deacon not want to take me to school?" she asked.

Scarlett looked over and gave her an encouraging smile. "I really do have to meet with your mama, so it made sense." She paused. "But he doesn't want you to have to deal with people asking a lot of questions."

Maddie rolled her eyes. "I don't care about that."

"Well, maybe _you_ don't, but Deacon doesn't want you to get hurt. He really loves you, Maddie, and he wants to do the right thing."

Maddie smiled shyly. "He really does love me?"

Scarlett was surprised that she would ask. "Of course he does. You're his little girl. He's so glad he's getting to spend time with you. But he wants everything to be perfect for you."

"It doesn't all have to be perfect," Maddie said softly.

Scarlett smiled. "Let him try, at least. It'll make him happy."

Maddie smiled broadly. "Okay. I can do that."

Scarlett looked over at Maddie and couldn't help thinking that she was going to enjoy seeing the two of them get to know each other as a father and daughter. Right now they were both trying so hard and it would be nice to see it become more natural for them both.

Maddie looked over at Scarlett. "Did you ever see my mom and dad together?"

Scarlett gave her a small smile. "Only a couple times. And I was really little so I don't remember a lot." She thought a minute. "I think the last time I saw them together I was maybe seven. Six or seven."

Maddie looked down. "What were they like?"

"Wow, let me think. I remember thinking your mama was the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen. And she was so sweet to me." Maddie looked up and smiled. Then Scarlett frowned a little. "I know my uncle Deacon was drinking back then, not because I was aware of it, but because I know that now. But he seemed really happy then. I know he loved your mama a lot and I do remember that every time he looked at her, he would smile. And they were always holding hands. Or kissing. Or both." She giggled.

Maddie sighed. "I wish I understood what happened. When I was born, I mean." She looked back at Scarlett. "Do they really not care about each other anymore?" she asked sadly.

Scarlett caught her breath. Her heart broke for Maddie. "I don't really know everything that's gone on," she said, "but I don't really think that's the case. But I do know they're both hurting, a lot. It may just take a while for them to get back to a good place." She frowned. "Just think about whether you really want to know what happened back then. I think it was all really painful and it might be painful for you too. I don't think either your mama or your daddy want you to be hurt."

Maddie considered that. "I guess," she said softly, and then turned her head to look out the side window the rest of the ride to school.

* * *

Maddie was reading in the library when Talia came up and plopped down next to her, tossing her book bag on the table. Maddie looked up. "Hey, Talia," she said.

"Hey, Mad. How's it going?"

Maddie shrugged. "Okay." She turned in her chair and looked at her friend. "I wonder if I'll ever know everything that went on with my parents."

Talia looked at her questioningly. "Which parents?"

"My real dad. And my mom. I kind of want to know what really happened, but my cousin…Scarlett…she kind of scared me."

"Scared you how?"

"She said I might not want to know. Like it's something bad."

Talia sighed. "Maddie, there's always a lot of baggage in break-ups. And a lot of it is awful stuff. Maybe you don't want to know."

Maddie shook her head. "Talia, my real dad didn't even know about me. My mom never told him. Why would she do that? Why would she keep us apart?"

Talia grabbed Maddie's hand. "Mad, you told me your real dad was an alcoholic. You read the stories about him. That's gotta be it."

"I guess."

"Look, I know you wanna know everything. But I think your cousin might be right. There's some stuff you just don't wanna know."

Maddie thought about that. But she couldn't imagine what could be so bad. Just then the five-minute bell rang and she decided she'd have to think about it later. She and Talia got up and headed for their next class.

* * *

"How about pizza tonight?" Deacon suggested, as he and Maddie were putting away their guitars late that afternoon. Scarlett had a gig and wouldn't be home until very late.

Maddie smiled and nodded. "That sounds good."

"I'll order us something and pick it up. We could watch some movies tonight if you want."

"Okay."

"What kind of pizza do you like?"

Maddie shrugged. "I like most everything." She wrinkled her nose. "No anchovies though."

Deacon laughed. "Have you ever tried them?"

Maddie shook her head. "No, but I know they smell stinky, so they probably taste stinky. I'm not really a fan of stinky food."

Deacon grinned. "Not a fan, huh? Well, you're in luck, 'cause neither am I. How about hamburger and mushroom?"

"I love that. That's what Mom gets when we have pizza." She looked at him with a question in her eyes. "Did you used to get that when you were together?"

Deacon nodded. "She always ordered that. I never had mushrooms until then either." He was pensive for a moment, then stood up and clapped his hands together. "I'm gonna go order it." He walked into the kitchen to get the menu, leaving Maddie watching him, thinking more about him and her mom together.

* * *

When he got back with the pizza, Maddie helped with plates and napkins and root beers and they brought everything into the living room. When they had served themselves and sat back on the couch, Deacon picked up the remote. "Any particular movie you wanna see?"

Maddie took a deep breath. "Could we just talk?"

Deacon nodded his head and put down the remote. "Yeah. What do you want to talk about?"

Maddie took a bite of pizza and chewed it thoughtfully. Then she looked at Deacon and asked, "Can you tell me about your family?"

Deacon's eyes widened a bit and he took a deep breath. He wasn't really sure how much he wanted to tell her. "Well, I have a sister – Scarlett's mama – who is your aunt. Her name is Beth. She's about a year older than me. My parents are both dead."

"Where is Beth?"

"She lives in Mississippi. That's where Scarlett's from."

"Do you see her very often?"

Deacon shook his head. "I haven't seen her in a long time, unfortunately. She's got a pretty busy job, a lot going on." It made him feel bad that he hadn't seen his sister in so long. He rarely even talked to her on the phone. She never seemed to be around. Being together brought up a lot of the old childhood hurts though and he'd never really pushed it.

"And your parents?"

"Both dead. My father's been dead a long time. And my mom died a few years after that."

"Did Mom ever meet them?"

Deacon shook his head. "No, she didn't. My father died a year or so after I met her. We never went to see my mom. And then she died too."

"But she met your sister. And Scarlett."

Deacon smiled. "Yeah, she did. When Scarlett was a little girl. Your mama really loved her, right from the start."

"What was it like when you were growing up?"

Deacon took a deep breath. He remembered what Rayna said about only sharing what he was comfortable with. "I didn't have a great childhood like you did, Maddie," he said. "We didn't have a lot and we lived in the country and, truthfully, my father was a pretty mean man. Not a good father. Both Beth and I left home when we were teenagers."

"Is that when you came to Nashville?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I was sixteen. Came here with nothing but the clothes on my back and my guitar."

"So you were already playing back then?"

"I was. Even writing songs, although they weren't that good. I got better at that."

Maddie put her plate down and turned to face him. This was interesting. "Did you get to play when you got here?"

He chuckled. "Well, you know, around here there's always someplace to play. You don't even have to be very good to get a gig someplace. So yeah, I started playing different places around town as soon as I got here. I had to earn some money so I didn't have to live in my truck."

Maddie's eyes got big. "You lived in your truck?"

He nodded. "I did. For several months, until I had enough money to rent a room. Then I got a couple part time jobs and I made enough to get a small apartment, not too far from here."

"Did you always know you wanted to be a performer?"

"Not always. But when I got my first guitar, I really got the fever. I never thought I'd ever get to do it for a living, so I consider myself lucky that I have."

"When did you get your first guitar?"

"I'd help out on some of the farms around where I lived, picking crops or cleaning out barns, stuff like that. And I saved every dime I made. I bought a cheap guitar when I was thirteen and then I bought a used Fender when I was sixteen, not long before I came here. I still have that guitar, although I don't ever play it now. I've got better stuff. But that was the one I started with here in Nashville. I played the Bluebird with that guitar."

Maddie's eyes sparkled. "What was it like the first time you played at the Bluebird?"

Deacon sat back and smiled as he remembered. "I tried for so long to get an open mic spot and when I finally did, I was so nervous I thought I'd puke right there on the stage. But I got through it and people seemed to like me okay. I have to admit that I was secretly hoping someone would discover me there, but it took a while for that to happen." He smiled at Maddie. "The Bluebird is a special place. Even now, I get butterflies every time I play there."

"I'm glad I got to see you there."

"Well, all I did then was sing. You'll have to come back, now that I can play the guitar better."

"Maybe I could play there with you sometime."

Deacon smiled. "I would love that, Maddie."

Maddie frowned then. "It'll be a long time before Mom will let me do something like that."

"She let you do that open mic at Two Old Hippies."

She rolled her eyes. "That was for kids. I want to do a real gig. Like at the Bluebird."

"We'll do that sometime. I promise."

"Soon?"

Deacon took a deep breath. "Well, I don't know about soon…"

Maddie rolled her eyes with annoyance. "I told Mom I'm not going to lie about you being my dad. I'm tired of acting like you're just my 'Uncle Deacon'."

Deacon rubbed his face. He and Rayna had never talked specifically about keeping this quiet, but he had to admit that he kind of understood where Maddie was coming from. There was a part of him that didn't like the secrecy and caring about whether anyone saw him with Maddie and wondered about that. But he knew that the truth would hurt Rayna more than him, professionally, and there were things he didn't necessarily want Maddie to know, like the fact that he couldn't remember being with Rayna when she was conceived. He leaned forward and looked at Maddie. "It's not so simple, Maddie. But I want you to know that I am proud you are my daughter and I would be okay with anyone knowing that. I just think that you have to talk to your mama about it. It's her call."

Maddie rolled that over in her mind the rest of the night. They watched the movie "True Grit", which Deacon told her was one of his favorites. She'd never really been a fan of cowboy movies, but she wanted to understand her dad better, so she agreed to try it. And it turned out she liked it, giving them something else to enjoy together.

* * *

Saturday morning, Deacon got Maddie up early. He'd been thinking about all her questions and he wanted to take her someplace that would give her a little more sense of his history with Rayna and might satisfy some of her curiosity. Since they were meeting Megan for dinner that night, he wanted to get an early start, so they were back in Nashville in plenty of time.

"Where are we going?" she asked when they got on the road.

"I have a cabin up on a lake about an hour and a half from here. I bought it a long time ago, when your mama got nominated for her very first CMA award."

Maddie was thrilled and she smiled happily at him. She was excited to be seeing some of their shared past. "Really? Did you buy it for her?"

He nodded. "I did. Well, I bought it for both of us, but it was what she'd always told me was her dream house. A place on a lake that was quiet and peaceful and away from everything. I looked for a long time and then I found this place. The guy who owned it wanted to get rid of it, so he gave me a pretty good deal. And I took your mama up to see it the day before she won the award for 'Best New Artist'."

"Did you surprise her?"

He laughed. "I did. She was mad at me for taking her because she had rehearsal that afternoon and she was afraid I wouldn't get her back in time."

"Did you?"

He nodded. "I did. Barely. Once I got her up here, she didn't want to leave, so it was her fault that she was almost late." He, of course, didn't tell Maddie the reason they were late was that they had gotten so caught up in the thrill of the new place that they'd hadn't been able to keep their hands off each other.

"Did you come up here a lot?"

"Every chance we could. It's real quiet up here and it was good for writing and daydreaming and…that kind of stuff."

Maddie smiled. "I can't wait to see it."

When they finally pulled up, she almost didn't wait for the truck to stop before she jumped out. She went running up the steps to the porch, peering in the windows. Deacon found himself thinking about all the times that he and Rayna would come up here and she would do the same thing. She would run up the steps and pull on the door, impatiently waiting for him to unlock it. When they were in Nashville, they always took great pains to keep their personal life private; here at the cabin, they could relax. No one would see them or bother them. It occurred to him the same was true with Maddie. Up here, they didn't have to worry that someone would see them and wonder why Deacon Claybourne was spending time with a teenage girl. Or worse, that they would know the teenage girl was Maddie Conrad, daughter of his former lover, Rayna Jaymes, with all the questions that would raise.

When they walked in, Maddie stood in the middle of the great room and looked all around her. She was a little disappointed; it didn't look like a place where her mother had been. It had a very masculine look to it, although it also looked comfortable. She looked back at Deacon with a question on her face. "I thought you said you got this for her."

Deacon nodded. "I got it to surprise her. But she hasn't been here in a very long time."

"Since you broke up." She sighed and then wrapped her arms around her waist. She felt tears in her eyes and she looked back at Deacon, her face full of sorrow. "Why did you break up? If you loved each other so much, why did you have to break up?"

Her pain made his heart hurt and he walked over to her and put his arms around her, holding her tightly. "I'm sorry, Maddie," he said. "Maybe we shouldn't have come here." He could give her an answer to her question, but the truth was that Rayna was the one who needed to give her that answer. After all, she had broken up with him. It was not what he'd wanted.

After a few minutes, Maddie pulled back. She swiped at her eyes. "No, I'm glad we came." She walked over to the windows and looked out over the lake. "Was this the only place you ever went by yourselves? Or did you ever take any other trips?"

_This was easier,_ Deacon thought. "Actually, we took a couple trips to this place in Mexico. It's a small town on the west coast called Troncones. Nobody knew us, except as a couple of Americans that didn't speak the language. We could hide out and totally be alone. We'd go there when things got really hectic and we really needed a break."

"Is that what you wrote 'Postcard from Mexico' about?"

"Actually we wrote it there."

"What was it like writing songs together?"

Deacon raised his eyebrows. Until she'd married Teddy, writing songs with Rayna was a sexual, sensual thing. It was them pouring their hearts out to each other, always so incredibly personal. Even the song he'd worked on with her for her latest album was personal. He was sure that it was kind of a throwback to earlier days, when things were simpler and easier and light. It had felt hopeful, like there was a little crack in the carefully constructed relationship they'd developed after the accident. But then it was gone. He took a deep breath. "It was easy," he said. "The words just came and the melodies just came. It was never hard."

Maddie looked a little wistful. "Like you were meant to be together."

That's what he'd always thought. He'd known after the accident that he'd have to regain her trust, that he'd messed up badly. He hadn't expected her to shut him down. That had been the hardest part. He'd accepted it though and tried to move on with his life. It didn't seem they were meant to be together anymore.

He didn't want to dwell on all of that now, so he showed Maddie around the house and they went out to the lake and sat on the dock and talked about more mundane things. It was as though they both needed a break from the heaviness that was the past. Maddie still wanted to know more, but she felt full at that moment and she needed time to process all of that and this place. It was nice to see a piece of her parents' past, even if it had been so long since her mom had been here that she no longer inhabited the space. She was grateful to Deacon for bringing her here and she hoped they'd come back.

_**A/N: I have to confess that I threw up in my mouth a little writing that little interlude between Rayna and Luke. Unfortunately, it plays into the stuff that happens later on, so it was necessary. Please know that I hated it as much as you probably did.**_


	7. Chapter 7

Megan waved at Deacon and Maddie as they walked into the Pharmacy Burger. Deacon waved back and pointed Maddie in that direction. When they got to the table, Maddie sat across from Megan. Deacon leaned in and awkwardly gave Megan a peck on the cheek, then sat next to Maddie.

"Maddie, this is Megan Vanoy," he said, looking at her. Then he looked at Megan. "Maddie Conrad."

Megan smiled at Maddie. "Hi, Maddie. I'm so glad to meet you."

"Hey," Maddie said shyly.

"Have you had a good weekend so far?"

"Yeah," Maddie responded with a smile. "We just got back from Deacon's cabin."

Megan raised her eyebrows and looked at Deacon. "You have a cabin?"

Deacon cleared his throat and let out a short laugh. "Yeah," he said with a crooked smile. "I do. Up along the state border." He gestured towards Maddie. "Maddie's been asking a lot about stuff and I thought I'd take her up there. I've had it for a long time."

"Really. Wow. How long have you had it?"

"Almost twenty years." Just then a server came up. "Hey, what do y'all want to drink?"

After they ordered – Maddie got a root beer float, Megan got a Diet Coke, and Deacon ordered a Mexican Coca-Cola – Megan turned her attention back to Maddie. "So Deacon tells me that you are a really good guitar player and singer."

Maddie smiled shyly, looking at Deacon, then back at Megan. "My sister and I like to sing together and my mom gave me her old guitar, so I like to play that. It's actually her mom's guitar. Anyway, Deacon is teaching me so that I can get better."

Deacon smiled at her proudly. "She's really amazing, especially at her age. I think if she wants to do this professionally one day, she's going to be a huge success. Plus she has a voice as sweet as her mama's."

Megan smiled at Maddie, as she blushed. "You definitely come from talented musical stock, that's for sure. I'd love to hear you sometime."

Maddie smiled. "So what do you do?" she asked.

"I'm a lawyer."

"How did you meet Deacon?"

Megan looked over at Deacon. It was a sensitive subject, so she didn't want to say the wrong thing. Deacon cleared his throat. "Uh, she was my lawyer after the accident," he said quietly.

Maddie's face was carefully neutral and she just nodded. She looked down and focused on the menu. _This is awkward,_ she thought. The silence stretched out until the server came back with their drinks and took their food order. After that the conversation seemed forced and, when Maddie claimed to not feel well after picking at her food, Deacon paid the bill and they left.

Maddie didn't say anything on the ride home. Deacon wasn't sure what to say to her. That had not gone well and he felt bad for Megan. It wasn't her fault, but it did bring up a lot of difficult memories, clearly, for Maddie and he was sensitive to that as well. When he parked and turned off the car, Maddie turned to him. "When did you and Mom decide to start dating?" she asked.

Deacon rubbed his hand over his mouth and took a deep breath, then let out a short laugh. He definitely felt out of his league with how teenagers could change course on a dime. "Wow, Maddie. That's kind of a loaded question." He paused to think about how to answer. "The thing is, I don't know that I could say that we ever 'dated', like 'pick her up at the front door, go to a movie' dating. She was still living at home when I first met her and we worked together and wrote together. I guess it just kind of went from us being performing partners to us being…together. It just sorta happened."

Maddie smiled. "Did you both know at the same time?"

"Well, it's funny. I really liked her at first but she was really bossy and so I wasn't sure. But then one day something happened and she kinda needed me and it just happened then." _This was hard,_ he thought. He was mindful of the fact that Maddie was fourteen and, he hoped, kind of naïve about relationships. She didn't need to know how immediately intimate their relationship had been, particularly at Rayna's young age. He also wasn't so sure he wanted her to do what they had done, even though it had worked out for them, at least for a long time.

Maddie was pensive for a moment as she took that in. Then she looked back at Deacon. "So when did she move in with you?"

Deacon laughed self-consciously. "Huh. Let's see, well, first she moved in to my apartment when she didn't have anywhere to go." Not completely true, but not false.

Maddie frowned. "Why didn't she have anywhere to go? I thought you said she lived with Grandpa."

Deacon shifted uncomfortably. "Well, she did, but then, you know, your grandpa didn't really want her to perform. He wanted her to stay in school, kind of like your mama wants you to stay in school. But he got mad and they fought about it, so she left. And she came and stayed with me."

"When she was sixteen…" Deacon could see the wheels turning in her head.

"Maddie, I know you're going to think I'm a hypocrite, but I want you to really take your time. What happened with your mama and me, well, that almost never happens when you're that young. You should go out in the world and get a bunch of experiences before you settle down with someone."

Maddie's voice was small. "Do you ever wish you'd done that? Waited?"

Deacon took a deep breath. He shook his head. "No. I don't." He shifted in his seat. Maddie was dredging up all the old feelings and emotions with all her questions and he wasn't sure how he felt about it. "Maddie, I loved your mama. More than anyone in the world. She was the best thing that ever happened to me. And I messed it up. Those were the best years of my life. Still are."

Maddie's chest hurt. She wanted to cry, but she didn't want to do it here. "Do you…still miss her?" she choked out.

Deacon ran his hand over his mouth. He looked straight out the front window. "Yeah. Sometimes," he said quietly. He closed his eyes, thinking about Rayna now, missing her. He would always miss her, even if he couldn't be with her.

Maddie was silent. She wondered if her mom knew that Deacon missed her. And if she did, why didn't she care? Or did she still miss him too? There still was a lot to know, but it seemed to her that they were meant to be together. So why couldn't they try again? Meeting Megan had felt weird, just like meeting Luke had, like there was no way for her parents to find each other again because of them. She felt incredibly sad. She sighed. "Megan is nice," she said, finally.

Deacon nodded. "Yeah, she is." But he wondered if nice was enough.

* * *

When Deacon pulled into Rayna's driveway to drop off Maddie, he felt an inexplicable sadness. He'd been nervous about the prospect of being a full-time father to Maddie for the first time. But it had gone so much better than he had expected, even with all her hard questions that brought up so many emotions, and now he was sorry it had reached an end. For this time, anyway.

"Thanks, Dad," Maddie said with a smile. Calling him 'Dad' was getting more comfortable all the time and she liked how it sounded. Things had gone better than she had imagined, even including the awkward dinner with Megan, and she had enjoyed getting to know her cousin Scarlett better. "I had the best time."

Deacon smiled back at her. "Me too. Can I tell you I was a little scared at first? I'm not used to dealing with teenage girls."

Maddie raised her eyebrows. "What about Mom? She was a teenager when you first met her, right?"

Deacon nearly choked. "Um, well, yeah, but she was older. And it was…different." So different.

Maddie smiled broadly. "But she was still a teenager," she said teasingly.

Deacon turned red. "Well, to be fair, so was I."

Maddie laughed. "Anyway, I had fun. I'm glad we're doing this."

Deacon smiled. "Me too."

Maddie leaned over and hugged him. He hugged her back, holding her close. "Bye, Dad," she said.

"Bye, Maddie. I'll see you Tuesday."

She beamed. "Can't wait!" She grabbed her overnight bag and got out of the truck.

Rayna had walked out and Maddie rushed up to hug her. "Hey, sweet girl," Rayna said with a smile. "Did you have a good time?"

"I did, yeah," Maddie answered. She waved at Deacon and then rushed up to the house.

Rayna walked over and surprised Deacon by getting in the passenger seat Maddie had just vacated. She picked at her sweater for a moment, then looked up and asked, "How did it go?"

Deacon nodded. "It went good. I think Maddie had fun." He ran his hand over his face. "Thanks for letting her do this, Ray. I appreciate it."

Rayna smiled softly. "I'm glad it went well. And I'm glad she seems so happy." She paused. "I'm sorry I was rude on the phone the other night."

Deacon shook his head. "It's okay." He smiled and let out a chuckle, shaking his head. "She's so smart, Ray, she amazes me. I looked at her homework one night and I was glad she knew how to do it, because I couldn't have helped her."

Rayna's smile broadened. "Yeah, things have changed since we were in school."

Deacon frowned. "One thing, though. She asked a lot of questions about you and me. About when we were younger. Hard questions."

Rayna looked down and played with her sweater again. "Yeah, I think she's trying to figure things out. She's really never seen us together so she's trying to put the pieces together."

Deacon took a deep breath. "There's a lot of history there, Ray. And I don't want to say anything wrong."

Rayna looked up. "I'm trying to be careful. But she thinks I'm just putting her off." She sighed. "I want to be as honest as I can be with her." She smiled slightly. "We were in love then. I try to be honest about that."

Deacon breathed in and nodded. "Okay. I'm trying to be honest too."

Rayna reached out and laid her hand on his arm, squeezing lightly. "I'm glad everything went well. That's all I hoped for." She opened the door. "We'll see you on Tuesday then." She got out and headed for the house.

Deacon sat for a moment, watching her. Maddie was definitely stirring the pot with all her questions. He'd been successful up to now, for the most part, at keeping those feelings at bay, but having to relive it all was testing his resolve. He wondered if it was testing Rayna's as well.

* * *

When Maddie got in the house, she threw her things into her room and then ran down to Daphne's. Daphne was sitting on her bed and Maddie ran and jumped up to sit beside her. "Maddie, you're home!" Daphne cried happily. She threw her arms around her sister. "I missed you!"

Maddie smiled at her. "I missed you too, munchkin."

"Did you have fun at Deacon's?"

"I did. He took me to his cabin. _And_ I met his girlfriend."

Daphne's eyes were round. "Ooh. Did you like her?"

Maddie shrugged. "She was okay. I didn't hate her."

"I bet she's not as cool as Luke. He has horses!"

Maddie rolled her eyes. "Luke is not that cool. He's just okay too." She didn't really want to talk about Megan and Luke. "So did you and Dad have a good time?"

Daphne sighed. "He was in a bad mood after you left. He was really cranky. He even got a babysitter one night and went out." She pouted. "I hope you're not going to do this again."

"Daphne, I'm going to do it every time. Duh. I told you that before."

Daphne scrunched up her face. "Nooo. I don't like this. Why do you have to do this?" she wailed.

"He's my dad, Daph. My real dad. And I want to get to know him."

"I wish you'd never found out he was your dad," Daphne said sadly.

Maddie sighed. "You know, I thought the same thing for a while. I felt really bad about everything that happened. I still feel like the accident was my fault. Like if I hadn't found out, then everything would have gone on like it was. But it's good for me to know now."

Rayna had walked up to Daphne's room just then. Her heart hurt that Maddie felt responsible for what had happened. She was going to have to help her daughter understand it wasn't her fault, but she'd have to deal with that later. Right now, she had both her girls home and she was looking forward to spending some time with them together. She peeked around the door with a big smile on her face, "Girls, how about pizza, then popcorn and a movie?"

"Yes!" Daphne cried, jumping off her bed and dancing around the room.

Maddie smiled at her sister and shook her head. "You're so silly," she said to Daphne. Then they walked over to their mom, put their arms around her waist and the three of them walked downstairs.

* * *

After she had tucked Daphne into bed, Rayna walked down to Maddie's room. She was sitting on her bed, listening to some music. Rayna sat down next to her and Maddie looked up. "Can I listen too?" she asked and Maddie nodded, handing her an ear bud. Rayna smiled as she listened to the song that Maddie and Deacon had written together a few weeks ago. Maddie was definitely talented and it worried her a little, because she didn't want her to get caught up in the business, especially so young. But she was beginning to realize that she wouldn't be able to keep her away forever. When the song was over, Maddie shut off her iPod and they both removed the ear buds.

Rayna smiled. "That's a really pretty song, Maddie. You amaze me."

Maddie smiled and blushed. "Thanks, Mom. But it was mostly Deacon."

"Well, y'all write pretty songs together. You couldn't do any better for a songwriting partner. I sure know that. He made everything I ever wrote sound so much better."

"What was it like writing songs together?"

Rayna sat back and pulled Maddie back against her. She smiled as she thought about that. "It was amazing. We would start with just the smallest idea and it wouldn't take long to come up with a whole story. The words just came so easy."

"Were your songs about the two of you? And loving each other?"

"When we were together, yeah, they were. But, you know, we still wrote songs together after I married your dad. Those were different."

Maddie turned her face up to look at her mom. "Why were you so secretive about your relationship?"

Rayna scrunched up her face. "I don't know that we were secretive, but we _were_ private. I didn't want people to take pictures of us all the time and get into our business. It just wasn't _their_ business. Being in a relationship is a lot of work and there are hard times as well as good times and I just wanted to keep it between us. It was that way after I got married too."

Maddie reached for her iPad and pulled up the candid shot of her mom and Deacon backstage. She showed it to Rayna. "Is this what you didn't want them to see?"

Rayna's eyes got wide as she looked at that shot. She wasn't sure she'd seen it before. Somebody must have caught the photographer right after he'd taken that shot, because she was pretty sure that within seconds Deacon's hand had ended up under her dress. As she looked at it, she felt a little twinge of heat that she tried to tamp down. "Maddie, where did you find that?" she asked, a little breathlessly.

"On the Internet. I looked for pictures or stories about the two of you and found that. Do you remember when that was?"

"Not exactly. It would have been after a show." After any show, actually. The heat between the two of them after a show was always at a fever pitch. They were never on time to an after party because they'd have to find someplace to work off the sexual tension that had built up during the show. Rayna had a hard time tearing her eyes away from the picture. Thankfully Maddie shut the iPad.

"When did you know that you liked him? Like a boyfriend?"

Rayna's heart was still racing and she took a deep breath to calm herself and focused on answering Maddie's question. "Well, I liked him right away. I thought he was so good looking. But when I got to know him, I realized he was a really good person. He was talented and kind and he treated me like I was special. I think I really always knew I wanted to be with him." She thought about that for a moment. She had fallen in love with him almost as soon as she'd met him. And it had only gotten stronger and more intense as she got to know him better. They'd had such passion once. But after the accident, she hadn't trusted him. She didn't want to be hurt anymore. Now she was letting him back in a little and it scared her.

Maddie looked at her with a serious expression. "Why did you stay with him all those years? When you knew he was an alcoholic?"

Rayna couldn't look at her daughter. What was she supposed to say to her about that? She knew how it looked to the outside, but she didn't know how exactly to explain to her fourteen year-old daughter about how Deacon was a part of her and how she couldn't abandon him, even when it was destroying her bit by bit. How did you explain that kind of love and passion and need for another person, that you would live with the anger and the uncertainty and the fear and the pain because living without that person would have been worse? Finally she put her arms around her daughter and held her close and told her the truth. "Because I loved him. And because he needed me," she said softly.

Maddie didn't say anything for a long time. Finally she took a deep breath. "He took me to his cabin yesterday," she said quietly.

Rayna's eyes widened and she felt a twinge of anxiety. The last time she'd been inside the cabin had been the night Deacon had asked her to marry him. The next morning she'd found him passed out in the living room, a nearly empty bottle of whiskey beside him. And he hadn't remembered any of the night before. Not the proposal, not making love to her, not any of it. And thirteen years later, when he'd found out Maddie was his, that was why he'd never suspected. Because he couldn't remember. The last time she had even been there was the day Tandy drove her up there, when she'd been out of her mind with fear after he'd left rehab early, when she'd known she was pregnant and wanted to tell him. When she'd made the fateful choice to let Tandy take her away without letting him know. She felt a pit of anguish in her stomach. "It's a beautiful place," she finally managed to choke out.

"He said he bought it for you. That it was your dream house."

Rayna knew those statements were really questions. It _had_ been her dream house. And they had spent some wonderful times there. She felt tears course down her cheeks. _Oh, Deacon, what have you done?_ She leaned into Maddie. "He did. And it was," she said softly.

"Why didn't you two ever get married, Mom?" Maddie asked.

Rayna wiped at the tears on her cheeks. "There were a lot of reasons, Maddie. Mostly it just never seemed like we needed to."

"Did you want to marry him?"

Rayna thought about that night at the cabin, when he had asked her and she'd said yes. She had absolutely wanted to marry him then. _If only he hadn't gotten drunk that night._ "You know what, Maddie? I think if we were going to, we'd have done it back when we were a lot younger."

Maddie sighed. "But you married Dad," she said.

"Yeah, I did." She was grateful then that Maddie stopped asking questions and turned into her side, just like when she was a little girl. She held her daughter until she felt her breathing slow and then she gently laid her down on her pillow and covered her with a blanket. She turned out the light and quietly walked out of the room, closing the door behind her. She stood in the hall, leaning against Maddie's door and let the tears flow. If only things had been different. If only Deacon hadn't gotten drunk that night. If only she'd done what she'd wanted to do when Tandy had taken her to the cabin. If only she'd had faith in him, if only she could have helped him. If only she'd done what she knew was the right thing.

* * *

The clean cut thirty-something man walked briskly across Public Square Park just after one on Monday, his phone against his ear. "I'm not exactly sure what I have, but I _am_ 99% sure it's the mayor's daughter. And she's _not_ with the mayor." He listened. "Totally random. I was out the other night at dinner and they were sitting a couple tables over. Could be nothing." Another pause. "Okay, I'll forward you the picture. Check ya later." He looked down at his watch and realized he was running a bit late, so he stuck his phone in his pocket and started to jog towards the building. He took the stairs instead of the elevator, which was notoriously slow.

He had just sat down at his desk, when his boss stuck her head into his office. "Hey, Jack! Where've you been? I need those numbers pronto. The mayor needs them for a meeting in an hour."

Jack nodded. "Right on it," he said. And then forgot about the phone conversation he'd just had.

_**A/N: I know I'm not the only one writing about the paternity reveal. I always plot my stories out in advance, so this has been planned since I started this story. I have a different take on it though.**_


	8. Chapter 8

Maddie walked in the house to a buzz of activity. Since her mom had started her own label, the house had turned into her office. Maddie hated it. It was too noisy, there were always people everywhere and her mom was always busy. She looked around and sighed.

Rayna turned and saw her daughter. "Hey, Maddie," she said happily, and walked away from someone Maddie had never seen before. Rayna hugged her. "How was your day, sweet girl?"

Maddie shrugged. "It was okay." She looked annoyed. "I'm going to go outside."

"Well, everyone will be gone in an hour or so. Then we'll decide what to do for dinner."

"Sure," Maddie said unenthusiastically and walked out through the mud room and over to the pool. The pool itself was still covered since it wasn't warm enough yet to swim, but all the outdoor furniture was out and it was a sunny day, so sitting outside felt nice. She threw her book bag on an adjacent chair and then opened it to retrieve her iPad. She found the picture she had shown her mom the night before and looked at it again, getting the now familiar warm feeling she didn't understand, looking at her dad leaning into her mom, his hand against the skin of her thigh. She closed her iPad and then leaned back against the chair back and closed her eyes as well.

She thought back over the weekend she'd just spent at Deacon's. It had been great spending time with him. Now that they had taken that step, she found herself wanting more. As grateful as she was to finally have this opportunity, when she really thought about it, she found herself angry again with her mom for keeping them apart. This was what she really wanted to know – why her mom had made the decision she had – but at the same time she was a little afraid of what the answer would be. Would she be hurt? Would she feel disappointed? Would it change how she felt?

At the sound of footsteps approaching, she frowned. The steps were quick and didn't sound like her mom. She opened her eyes as she heard them approach her. When she looked up, she smiled. "Juliette!" she cried. "I didn't know you were here."

Juliette had a pinched smile on her face. "I had a meeting with your aunt," she said, her voice indicating her annoyance. "I swear that woman doesn't know anything about what it takes to be successful in this business." She sat down and rearranged her face to one of genuine pleasure at seeing Maddie. "But enough of that. How are _you_?"

Maddie grinned at her. "Don't let Aunt Tandy bother you. She's trying to get back into Mom's good graces." She sat up and turned to face Juliette. The singer had been her idol ever since she'd burst on the scene as the newest country music darling and, when she had gone on tour with her mom, Maddie had been thrilled. It had given her and Daphne a chance to meet her and move into her orbit a bit. But when Rayna had been in the hospital after the accident, Juliette had been the one to give her comfort and they had bonded over Maddie's confusion and anger over finding out the truth about her real father. "So, I spent the weekend with my dad," she said.

Juliette looked surprised. "With Deacon? That's great, Maddie. How did it go?"

"It was amazing. So much better than just spending some afternoons with him. We got to really talk and everything. And he took me up to his cabin. The one he bought for my mom."

"Really." Juliette wondered how this latest development might change the dynamic between Rayna and Deacon. When Maddie had told her that Deacon was her dad, she'd initially been surprised, but then not. What did surprise her was that Rayna had kept it a secret for all those years. She had always seen Rayna as this perfect person and it was shocking to find out that she'd done something so calculated. "I'm glad you're getting to do this. It's good that you're getting to spend time with Deacon like that."

"I still have to spend time with my other dad," she said, rolling her eyes, "but only half a week. The other half I get to stay with Deacon." She had a dreamy-eyed look on her face. "I want to know everything I can about their relationship. And about him. And how I'm like him."

Juliette reached out and grabbed her hands, a concerned look on her face. "Sweetie, I know you want to know everything. But just be careful. There might be stuff you don't want to know." She couldn't even imagine what the truth was behind Rayna's decision to lie to Deacon about Maddie or why Deacon hadn't known in the first place. Maddie was smart in many ways, but Juliette knew Rayna had sheltered her all her life and she worried that Maddie would get hurt. Whatever that story was, she was certain it was painful and would be traumatic for everyone involved.

Maddie frowned. "Juliette, I've been lied to my whole life. I want to know the truth. I want to know my real father and where I came from. I don't understand why no one gets that."

"I understand it. I totally get you." She smiled encouragingly. "Just be patient. You don't have to know it all right away. Just relax and get to know Deacon better. The rest of it will come."

"You really think so?" Maddie asked.

"I know so," Juliette responded firmly.

"So when do you go back out on tour?"

Juliette rolled her eyes. "That's part of what I was here for. Now that I'm with Highway 65, I want to start fixing my reputation. Or what's left of it. So we were talking about Scarlett and me going out together."

"That's great! When do you start?"

"I've got some tour dates from my old tour that weren't cancelled, so we'll do those. That's a couple of weeks from now."

"I wish I could be there."

Juliette gave her a sly look. "Ask your mama. I know she's coming. Maybe she'll bring you too."

Just then Rayna walked up on the two of them. "Maybe I'll bring her to what?" she asked with a small smile on her face.

Maddie turned to look up at her, a hopeful smile on her face. "To Juliette's tour opening. Could I go? Please?"

Rayna took a moment. Then she gave the two of them her best performance smile and said, looking at Maddie, "We'll talk about it. You do have spring break coming up, so maybe we can arrange that."

Maddie jumped up and hugged her mom. "Oh, thanks, Mom! That would be awesome!" she cried.

Rayna looked down at Juliette with a slight frown, while Juliette looked back and smirked. "Yeah," she said flatly. "Awesome."

* * *

Rayna was fixing dinner in the kitchen after everyone had left. Tandy had stayed behind and was sitting at the counter drinking a glass of wine. Things were still strained between the sisters in the aftermath of Tandy's confession that she had been prepared to testify against their father. The fact that Lamar Wyatt had died of a heart attack mere days after being released from prison, after Tandy recanted, had done little to heal the wounds. But they were trying and Rayna had decided to hold out an olive branch by including her sister in their dinner plans. Maddie and Daphne were sitting in the den, practicing a song.

Tandy looked over at the girls and smiled, then looked back at her sister. "How's Maddie doing? How did the weekend go with Deacon?"

Rayna shrugged and looked over at her daughters. "She's okay, I guess. Having her spend time over there scares me a little. She's been asking a lot of questions about my relationship with Deacon. And he said she's done the same with him."

Tandy scrunched up her face. "But there's nothing really wrong with answering a few questions about when you met and how long you were together, is there?"

Rayna gave her sister a look. "Well, if that's all she were asking, probably not. But she's asking stuff like why I stayed with him and why we didn't get married. And she's been looking for pictures and she found one that was pretty risqué."

Tandy frowned. "Risqué? How do you mean?"

Rayna rolled her eyes and blushed. "Deacon practically had his hand in my panties, if you have to know."

Tandy gasped. "Oh, my! What did she say about it?"

"Luckily, it hadn't gone that far, but it just made her ask about why we were so private about our relationship." She sighed. "She's fourteen years old, Tandy. I'm not ready for her to know about sex and all that goes along with that. My relationship with Deacon was pretty…intense, and I don't feel comfortable talking about that to her." She looked at Tandy pointedly. "Or you."

Just then Daphne called out, "Mom! Aunt Tandy! Want to hear our song?"

Rayna smiled at them. "Of course we do." Tandy turned around and Rayna stopped what she was doing to listen.

Maddie started playing the melody and then they started singing the song she and Deacon had written together_. I don't remember how I got here / When my rose colored glasses disappeared / Sometimes my fingers, they can lose touch / Start letting go of everything I love / When I get the feeling that my prayers have hit the ceiling / And those darker days when my faith has lost all meaning / You keep me believing. _

Rayna found her thoughts drifting as she listened to her daughters' sweet voices. She felt like things were moving too fast. She had a sense of foreboding that gave her an uneasy feeling. She watched Maddie, her fingers moving over the guitar strings, looking up at Daphne and smiling as they sang together. All she'd ever wanted was to protect her. And now she had a terrifying sense that they were on a collision course with disaster. She closed her eyes and, leaning on her elbows, she rubbed her temples. She'd never wanted this to happen.

"That was beautiful, girls," Tandy said, turning to Rayna. She frowned. "Babe, are you okay?"

Rayna shook her head and opened her eyes, staring at her sister. Then she smiled, the smile she smiled onstage or to important people she didn't want to talk to at an after party or to a radio DJ who was annoying her. "Just feeling a little headache, but it's all good," she said. "Salad's ready and I've got Bucky's lasagna cooked. Let's eat!"

* * *

The next day, Rayna dropped Maddie off at Deacon's for her guitar lesson and then headed for Sound Check to meet with Tandy and Bucky about details for Juliette and Scarlett's tour. Once they had hammered out all the plans, Bucky left to take care of some legal business, leaving Rayna and Tandy sitting together awkwardly. When it was just the two of them, Rayna found it hard to talk to Tandy. Tandy hated awkward silences though, and always tried to find something to discuss, much to Rayna's annoyance. Today Tandy decided that that something was going to be Deacon and Maddie.

As she absentmindedly doodled on the piece of paper sitting in front of her, Tandy asked, "So you mentioned last night that Maddie was getting into personal stuff about you and Deacon. Have you thought at all about what you _do_ want to tell her?"

Rayna frowned at her. She really didn't want to talk to Tandy about this, but at the same time she really needed to talk through what was next, and she didn't have a lot of options. She sighed. "No, I really haven't. What am I supposed to tell her? That I was young and stupid and _in love_ and I couldn't stay away from him? That I actually thought he had things together, because that's what I wanted to believe, and I let him talk me into going with him to the cabin? And that he asked me to marry him and then totally forgot he did it because he got so drunk he couldn't remember? How does that sound? How would you feel if Mom had told you that story about the night you were conceived?" She rolled her eyes.

Tandy sighed. "No, I don't think you can tell her any of those things. I know those were all the things you wanted to protect her from. Well, along with the fact that you weren't even sure Deacon would ever get sober."

Rayna closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. "I don't think either one of them has any idea how much I've tried to protect them."

"Well, that's because you haven't told either one of them the whole story." She reached out and rubbed Rayna's arm. "Do you think you'll tell Deacon, at least? So that he'll understand what's at stake?"

Rayna stopped rubbing her temples and opened her eyes to look at her sister. Tears started to form in her eyes. "I don't know." She sat back in her chair and looked away. "He took her to the cabin, Tandy."

Tandy gasped. "Oh, God, babe, really? But he doesn't know…"

Rayna shook her head. "No, he doesn't." The tears started to trickle down her face and her voice got shaky. "Just thinking about her being there, where it all started, just kills me." She lowered her head. "You know, I try not to think about that anymore." Her voice was nearly a whisper. "You and I never talked about this, because you were so set on me marrying Teddy and covering all this up."

Tandy reached towards her, a lump in her throat, feeling sad about her part in all that went on back then. "Rayna, I'm sorry about all that. But just like you were trying to protect Maddie, I was trying to protect you."

Rayna waved her off. "I know that." She turned to look at Tandy, her eyes full of pain. "The whole time I was pregnant with Maddie, I was so torn. I think when it really hit me what I was doing was when I first started feeling her move. I went off by myself and cried. Cried for myself, for Deacon, for my baby who wouldn't know her real father. Every time I felt her move, I thought about the fact that she was Deacon's, that we'd made her, no matter what the circumstances were. I would dream about him, about telling him, about the two of us raising her together. I didn't want Teddy to touch me then. Not while Deacon's baby was inside me. Because that was all I had of him. All I thought I'd _ever_ have of him. And it felt sacred somehow." Her eyes flashed with anger. "I loved Deacon so much. I always loved him. I hated what I was doing to him, even though he didn't know I was doing it. I hated myself."

"Oh, babe, no…"

Rayna slammed her palm down on the table. "Stop it! Tandy, I lied every day for thirteen years." She laughed bitterly. "Obviously it was part of my DNA. Our DNA. Our mother lied for years. About Watty. Our father lied about killing her. About where he was that night. We lied about my baby girl. And now I'm asking her to lie about Deacon being her father. At least to not tell people. Because we could all get hurt. She thinks I'm being selfish – and I am – but it will hurt her and it will hurt Deacon." She started crying again. "And I don't know if I can prevent it."

Tandy moved over to sit next to her sister and reached out to put her arms around her. After a moment of resistance, Rayna relaxed into her arms and, her head on Tandy's shoulder, she sobbed.

* * *

When Rayna was ready to leave to pick up Maddie, she had recovered her composure. But she felt like she needed to talk to Deacon about her fears. She walked up the steps to his front door, filled with apprehension. When he opened the door, she put on her performance face.

"Hey, Ray," he said with a smile as he opened the door. "Come on in."

She walked in to see Maddie putting her guitar away. "How was the lesson?" she asked.

Maddie turned and smiled. "It was good. We're working on something new."

Rayna smiled back with a joy she didn't really feel. "That's awesome!" she said. "I can't wait to hear it when you're finished with it." She glanced at Deacon and smiled. "I told you that he's the best songwriting partner."

Deacon smiled, looking a little embarrassed by the praise. "It's mostly her. I'm just along for the ride," he said.

Rayna turned back to Maddie. "Maddie, can you wait for me in the car? I want to talk to Deacon about something."

Maddie nodded, her smiled fading. "Sure." She walked over and hugged Deacon. "Bye, Dad. Thanks. I'll see you Thursday."

Deacon hugged her back. "See you then, Maddie."

Rayna watched the two of them and felt her heart clench. All she had ever wanted, when she'd found out she was pregnant, was for the three of them to have a chance to be a family. But seeing him completely wasted that day she'd gone to the cabin with the idea of telling him had sent her down the path that led them to this awful place. She felt a lump in her throat and swallowed hard.

When Deacon closed the door after Maddie left, he turned back and walked towards Rayna. He stopped and put his hands in his pockets, hunching up his shoulders, his expression guarded. "What's up, Ray?" he asked.

Rayna wasn't sure how to start. She fidgeted with her hands and looked away, taking a deep breath. When she looked back at him, she was close to the edge and her voice was shaky with her emotions. "Maddie told me that you took her to the cabin," she said, finally.

He nodded. "I did. Is there a problem with that?"

"I…I…it's just…it's just so personal. For us. And to take her there…"

Deacon frowned. "That was the whole reason I did it. Damn it, Ray, she's asking so many questions. _Personal_ questions. I thought taking her someplace that was special for us would help her…understand more. I guess."

"You know she wants to be more…public. With you."

He nodded. "Yeah."

"It worries me, Deacon. I don't want her to be hurt. People will say things, hurtful things."

Deacon raised his eyebrows. "So we help her with it," he said, annoyance in his voice.

"But it's private. For her. For both of you."

Deacon felt himself getting angry. "You know, Ray, if _we're_ both okay with it, I'm not sure I understand why it's an issue." He looked hard at her. "Unless it's that it's an issue for _you_. That _you're_ the one that's worried about being hurt with the publicity." He smiled unkindly. "That's what this is. You don't want to have to say that you lied about this. For thirteen years. You want to hide this away, the same way you tried to hide _me_ away all those years."

Rayna shook her head. "No! No, Deacon. That was never what I was trying to do."

Deacon huffed and started rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. "Isn't this just about your reputation? God forbid that the world know that the great Rayna Jaymes hid the fact that she passed another man's daughter off as the daughter of her husband. Especially since it's the man that she didn't quite want everyone to know was her lover."

Rayna gasped. "That's not true! None of that," she choked out. "I'm trying to protect Maddie. And you."

Deacon shook his head. "_Me_? How are you protecting _me_? You hid her from me for thirteen years and now you want me to keep on pretending that she's not mine? I can't even claim her now? When I want to. And she wants me to. We're just supposed to have this relationship behind closed doors? Is there _ever_ a time when we can be truthful or do we just go on pretending?"

"No," Rayna whispered, shaking her head. "That's not what I want. But there's so much you don't know. That I don't want Maddie to know. Or anyone else."

Deacon raised his eyebrows. "Oh? What else have you lied to me about?"

Rayna got angry then. She stomped her foot and threw her hands out, angry tears starting to form in her eyes. "Do you really want to know why I don't want you taking her to the cabin? Because that's where she was conceived, Deacon. And the next morning you were so wasted you didn't even remember. And that's what I want to protect both of you from. I don't want Maddie to know that. I don't want you to have to face that publicly." She clenched her fists. "Goddamnit, Deacon, I loved you so much. I don't _ever_ want to do that to you again. Don't you understand that?"

Deacon turned away and covered his mouth with his hand, tears pricking at his eyes. He felt angry, he felt hurt, he felt sad. He looked back at Rayna. She looked devastated. His anger slowly began to subside. He reminded himself that he'd put her in the position she was in thirteen years ago. It didn't make what she'd done right, but he did know she hadn't meant to hurt him. "I won't take her back," he whispered brokenly.

She nodded. She wiped her face and took several deep breaths to calm herself. "I'm going to do everything I can to protect the two of you. No matter what happens," she said quietly.

Deacon nodded, not saying anything. Rayna looked at him once last time, then turned and let herself out.

* * *

Maddie had a bad feeling as she walked out to the car and got in. She turned and looked out the window at Deacon's house, wondering what was going on in there. Her mom had been so weird the last couple days since she'd come home from Deacon's and it worried her that she would try to change the rules of the game. She frowned at that and promised herself that she wouldn't let it happen.

She and Deacon had worked on a song today. She'd been writing about things that were lost being found, which was really about finding her real dad and what it meant to go through all that discovery. They had talked before about the songwriting process and how sometimes you wanted your words to say exactly what they meant and other times you wanted to create a story that just hinted at the truth, so as not to hurt someone or be obvious.

As they worked on the melody and altered a few of the words, Deacon had stopped and looked at her intently. "Maddie, is this about you and me?" He had felt a surge of love for her as she nodded shyly. "Do you want to talk about what you mean with this? It might help with how we create the melody."

She had put her guitar down and Deacon had done the same. She took a deep breath as she thought about all her feelings. "I guess it's that there's so much to know and it feels like there's not enough time. I feel like I'm figuring things out about myself now that seemed all messed up before. And now I know why." She smiled a little. "I think I'm like you and just never really knew it. Now I see things more clearly and it makes sense." She tilted her head and scrunched up her face. "Do you know what I mean?"

He reached out and took her hand, squeezing it gently. "I know exactly what you mean." He cleared his throat. "I always thought I knew you pretty well, but now I realize I didn't know half of who you are." He grinned at her. "And I really like what I'm learning. In fact, I love it. I'm really proud you're my daughter, Maddie."

She had teared up when he said that. "Thanks," she said shyly. "I'm glad you're my dad."

They worked a little more on the song, but hit a place where the words didn't feel just right. They decided to table it for the day and come back to it. Deacon explained how sometimes that happened for him too, especially when the words hit so close to the heart. "It'll come," he said. "You don't want to force it or the song won't be right."

Maddie nodded. She was learning so much from writing with him. She decided to take the opportunity to get his side of the story on some of what she'd talked to her mom about. "You know, I've tried to find stuff online about you and Mom, but there really isn't much. How come?"

Deacon hunched over and took a deep breath. "Well, I think there were a couple reasons. First of all, your mama grew up in a pretty important family that was in the public eye a lot. And she hated it. So she wanted to protect her privacy. People knew we were together. I mean, we lived together, so it was kinda obvious we were together. We just didn't really want people in our business all the time." He ran a hand over his mouth. "Plus, I had a lot of, uh, problems and it just was better to kind of stay low key."

Maddie thought about that. "You mean, because you were drinking?"

Deacon choked out a cough. He looked away. "Yeah, I guess."

Maddie smiled shyly. "It's okay. We've talked about it and I know you don't drink anymore. I'm proud of you."

Deacon smiled a little. "Thanks." He did _not_ like talking about his alcohol problem with her. She was too young for that and he didn't want her saddled with it. It was a grown-up issue that hopefully she would never have to deal with.

"Did you ever want to marry my mom?"

Deacon nodded. "I thought about it a lot. And I did. But I was not really the marrying kind, I don't think. We talked about it once or twice, but we just didn't think we had to." He thought about what he was saying. "But I think marriage is a good thing. When you find the right person – and I hope that's a very long time off," which made Maddie laugh, "I hope you don't do what your mama and I did. I hope you would get married and make a life together."

"But you and Mom had a life together," Maddie protested.

"Yeah, we did. But I want more for you. And I know your mama does too."

"What was it like being out on the road together?"

Deacon smiled. "It was hard. But it was amazing. We were doing what we loved." He thought back on the early days. "Watty bought us a bus. I mean, we had to pay him back for it, but it was someplace for all of us to stay while we were on the road. Your mama had a little room in the back and the rest of us had bunks."

Maddie smiled playfully. "Did you sleep in her room?"

Deacon turned red. "Uh, sometimes. Anyway, we would be on the road most of the time, playing every night or every couple nights. Just bars and clubs and stuff. Nothing big, nothing high class. It took a long time and a lot of work for your mama to finally get noticed. But when she did, there was nothing stopping her."

Maddie loved hearing about the early days. She wanted so badly to be able to do the same thing herself one day. Just then her mom got back to the car and got in, slamming the door. She sat for a moment, her head back and her eyes closed. Maddie frowned. "So are you going to tell me I can't see Deacon anymore?"

Rayna sat up and gave her daughter a perplexed look. "What?"

"Aren't you?"

"Maddie, no, of course not. Why would you think that?"

She shrugged. "Just checking, I guess." She turned and looked out the passenger side window.

Rayna frowned, but then started the car and headed towards home.


	9. Chapter 9

Maddie and Rayna were mostly quiet during the ride home from Deacon's. It wasn't until they were nearly home that Rayna finally asked her why she thought she wouldn't be able to spend time with Deacon anymore. Maddie didn't say anything at first, but then turned to look at her mom, her eyes steely. "Well, even though you let me do this, you never seem like you're happy about it. I know you didn't really want me to spend the weekend with him, so…"

Rayna frowned. "I don't know why you would think that, Maddie. I went to bat for you with your dad."

"Because you don't seem to want to let me say he's my dad. It's like you want me to pretend like he's not really my dad."

"Maddie, that's not true. At least, that's not my intention. But it's still very new."

"Whatever." Maddie crossed her arms and turned away, looking out the window.

Rayna looked over at Maddie, worry in her eyes. Her oldest daughter had always been a contradiction, quiet and unassuming, but fiercely passionate about things that were important to her. Like Deacon. Usually she was pretty even-keeled, but the paternity reveal had knocked her off-center. She was all over the place with her emotions. Some days, Rayna felt the closeness she and Maddie had always had. But so many days were full of fights and arguments and Maddie closing herself off. They were all on edge and she was feeling frustrated at her inability to help her daughter through this. The only one Maddie seemed to have a connection to was Deacon and Rayna wasn't entirely sure how she felt about that.

When they got home, Maddie jumped out of the car before Rayna had even turned it off. Rayna opened her door. "Maddie, I want to talk to you!" she called out. Maddie kept walking without even acknowledging her. "Maddie!" she shouted after her. Maddie didn't stop. Rayna turned off the car and got out, hurrying after her. When she got in the house, she slammed her purse down on the counter and ran up the stairs. She walked in Maddie's room. "Maddie, don't you run off from me," she said sternly.

Maddie turned and rolled her eyes. "What?" she said angrily.

"I want to talk to you."

"Well, I don't want to talk to you."

Rayna walked over to stand in front of her daughter. "I don't really care. You can listen then." Maddie narrowed her eyes and turned away. Rayna put her hands on her hips and sighed with exasperation. "Maddie, I just want you to take things slow. There's no need to rush this."

Maddie turned back and looked at Rayna as though she'd lost her mind. "Mom, you waited thirteen years to let me know about my real dad. I think if we want to move things faster, that's our decision. I have a lot of questions and I want some answers. And I'm tired of pretending like he's just 'Uncle Deacon' to everybody else. He's not!"

"I know that, Maddie, but you don't have to let the whole world know that. At least not right now."

Maddie threw her arms up and looked up at the ceiling, then back at her mom. "Why not? What are we waiting for? For you to figure out how you're going to spin this?"

Rayna looked at her angrily. "No, of course not. I want to help you."

Maddie let out an exaggerated sigh. "Thanks, Mom, but no," she said sarcastically. "I'm not waiting anymore. I want people to know who I am."

Rayna felt frantic. She didn't want Maddie to get hurt and was afraid her daughter would make some foolish error in her haste to expose the secret. "Maddie, please," she pleaded. "If this is really what you want, let me help you do this the right way. Will you let me? Please?"

Maddie sighed. "I guess."

Rayna felt a sense of relief, but she knew it wouldn't last. But she'd bought herself at least a little time, she thought. "Let me get with Bucky and we'll work out how to do this. Okay?"

Maddie nodded and turned away. Rayna walked up to her and put her arms around her. Maddie tensed up, but after a moment she relaxed. "This is important to me, Mom," she said softly. "It's who I am."

"I know, sweet girl. I know," Rayna said soothingly.

"Mom! I lost another tooth!" Daphne excitedly exclaimed from the doorway.

Rayna turned around and gave her younger daughter her best smile. "I thought it was hardly loose this morning," she said.

"It was, but I kept wiggling it so it would come out."

"You just want money. And you think Mama's easy," she said teasingly.

Daphne put on her innocent face and shook her head. "No, that's not it at all," she said solemnly.

Rayna laughed. "Well, you girls need to work on homework. I'll get dinner ready." She turned back to look at Maddie. "Maddie, we can talk more tonight, okay?"

Maddie nodded. "Okay," she said and then walked into her closet to change clothes. When she walked back out, Daphne was sitting on her bed, swinging her legs. Maddie rolled her eyes. "What?"

"Why was Mom shouting at you?"

Maddie rolled her eyes. "None of your business."

"It was about Deacon, wasn't it? You're so moody these days, now that you're Deacon's daughter."

"What are you talking about? That's ridiculous."

"No, it's not. You're all drama queen now." She hopped off the bed and wrung her hands together. "'I'm all misunderstood. Because I have a new daddy. I wanna be Maddie Claybourne now,'" she said in a whiny voice.

Maddie scowled at her sister. "I do _not_ sound like that."

Daphne nodded. "Yes, you do. You are _so_ not fun anymore. You're all about being dramatic." She rolled her eyes and tossed her head. "It's getting old, Maddie."

"Get out of here, you little pipsqueak. You have no idea what my life is like these days."

Daphne sighed dramatically. "Thank goodness," she said as she walked out of Maddie's room.

* * *

Later that night, Daphne was up in her room, after declaring that she needed to be in a "drama-free zone". Maddie rolled her eyes again just thinking about that. Daphne was certainly not one to talk about drama-free. Her mom had invited her to sit with her on the couch in the den. She had hesitated a moment, but then decided to just go with it. She'd curled up next to her and laid her hand in her mom's lap. Her mom took her hand and held it gently and it made Maddie feel warm and safe, the way she had when she was little. She really didn't like fighting with her mom, but ever since she'd found out Deacon was her dad, she had found her emotions getting out of control more often. There was so much she wanted to know, but if she thought about it enough, it would make her so angry with her mom for keeping that from her. But she didn't want to be angry tonight. There was more to learn.

"Why don't you want to talk much about him?" she asked finally.

Rayna sighed and ran her free hand over Maddie's hair, smoothing it. "It's really not that I don't want to talk about him, Maddie," she said. "But everything is so complicated and there's so much that's just not good and I don't want to hurt you."

"But it hurts me more that you keep things from me, Mom. Don't you get that?"

"Yeah, I guess." She leaned down and lightly kissed her daughter's head. "Ask me whatever you want, Maddie, and I'll try to answer as best I can. I promise."

"When did you know that I was Deacon's?"

Rayna took in a sharp breath. "For sure, it was after you were born. You know we did a paternity test, so that's when it was official. But I knew right away. There was no way you were anyone's but Deacon's." She thought about that. As soon as she'd known she was pregnant, she'd known the baby was Deacon's. Teddy always used a condom and, after she'd left Deacon at the cabin that next day, she'd pushed Teddy away for a couple of weeks in her grief over all that had happened.

"Did you think about it a lot? I mean, while you were pregnant?"

Rayna smiled wryly. Maddie really knew how to get to the heart of things. "Every day."

Maddie turned her head to look up at her mom. "Were you happy about it?"

Rayna smiled. "You know, I was happy and sad at the same time."

Maddie scrunched up her face. "Why?"

Rayna looked away for a moment, then back at her daughter. "I was happy that I was having a baby. But I was sad that Deacon was having such a hard time with his life and couldn't be a part of it."

Maddie thought about that for a moment. "So you decided to marry Dad," she said, her face a little sad.

Rayna nodded. "I did. Maddie, I wanted only the best for you. I was really afraid that Deacon wouldn't be able to handle that, that he wouldn't be able to be there for us the way we needed. I know that my decision has caused you pain now and I'm so very sorry for that. I'm sorry that our choices caused you even a moment of pain. We really thought we were doing what was best for you, because we loved you so much."

"But did you think it could stay a secret forever?"

Rayna felt tears prick her eyes and she had to breathe in deeply. "I honestly never thought that far ahead. I went day by day, just doing the best I could a day at a time."

Every time her mom talked about doing what was best for her, it made Maddie feel frustrated and angry. But since her mom had invited questions, she took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. "Did you ever think about telling him? Deacon, I mean."

Rayna had felt Maddie tense up and then slowly relax. She was sorry that all of this made her daughter so angry. At her. She had every right to be, though, Rayna knew that. Reliving all of this was so hard, so much harder than she had ever imagined it might be, back in the days when she actually imagined it at all. She took a deep breath. "Yes, I did think about it, Maddie. But, uh, Deacon was in rehab when I was pregnant. And when he got home, I just wanted him to get better and it seemed like if there were fewer complications for him, he had a better chance."

"But he was sober for so long. Why didn't you tell him later?"

Rayna felt a lump in her throat. Why did she not tell him? Because of her promise to Teddy. Because she was afraid. Because she knew something like what actually happened could happen and she couldn't risk it. She closed her eyes. Her heart hurt. "I don't know, Maddie," she said brokenly. "I guess as time went on, I didn't know how, without hurting him."

"I don't understand why he didn't guess it in the first place. Why didn't he think I might have been his?"

Rayna felt like she'd been kicked in the gut. This was the question she'd hoped Maddie would never ask. She wasn't quite sure what to say that would satisfy her daughter. Tears threatened. She felt like throwing up.

"Mom?" Maddie asked, her tone impatient.

"Um, a lot was going on then for him, Maddie. And I was dating your dad then. So, I guess he just assumed…"

Maddie rolled that around in her head. Something didn't seem right about that answer, but she couldn't come up with a reason that made sense. She felt like there was more, but her instincts said this might be one of those things that Talia and Juliette had told her she might not want to know, so she decided to let it go. For now.

"Why did you break up with him?" she asked then. "I mean, before you got married."

Rayna sighed. "I know that you know Deacon had a lot of problems, with drinking, when we were together. I know you've read about it and we've talked a little. It was a hard life. It takes a lot out of you and I was just…tired. I thought that maybe he'd get better if we weren't together, so that's what I did."

Maddie looked down. "Did you ever miss him?" she asked softly.

Rayna hugged her daughter close. "Yes. I did. A lot. But I had to move on." She took a deep breath as she felt all the old feelings bubbling up. "I know I keep telling you it was complicated, but it was. When it was good, it was absolutely the most wonderful time of my life. But when it wasn't, well, it just wasn't." She didn't really want to tell her daughter how Deacon destroyed her. Or how hard it was, as the years went by and she saw him getting stronger all the time, not to rush back into his arms again. She kissed the top of Maddie's head. "I'm sorry that it's not the fairy tale story you'd like it to be. I wish it had been, but it's just not. There were parts of it that were amazing, but there were also parts that were sad and hard and painful. And I needed for you to have something that would be stable. _I_ needed that. And your dad gave us both that, for a long time."

Maddie sighed deeply. She still felt like there was so much she didn't know. It _was_, actually, like her mom said, complicated. For a moment she was almost envious of Daphne, who didn't have any of this craziness to deal with. At the same time, when she thought about being the daughter of Rayna Jaymes and Deacon Claybourne, she felt a sense of pride that she came from what Juliette had called "country royalty." She felt special and unique and she kind of liked it. So for the time being, she was satisfied to sit and be close with her mom and just drink in feeling like she was part of something pretty amazing.

* * *

Megan walked in to the kitchen, enticed by the smell of bacon. She smiled as she saw Deacon busy with the eggs. She walked up behind him and, leaning against his back, she wrapped her arms around him, running her hands up and down his chest. He leaned back into her and turned his head slightly. "Morning," he said with a big grin.

"Good morning," she said. "That smells wonderful."

"Do you have time to eat?"

"I do." She laughed softly. "You spoil me."

He chuckled. "Just remember that this is probably the best thing I make. I'm not really much of a cook."

She let him go and moved to lean back against the counter next to the stove, watching him with a smile on her face. He was so different from men she usually dated, from her husband. He was ruggedly handsome, a simple man in many ways, although incredibly layered and complex, as she'd come to know. "What's on your agenda today?" she asked.

He finished up the eggs and dished them onto plates. "I've got a meeting at my label, then rehearsal. Then I'm going to meet up with Scarlett later to work with her on some music." He picked up the plates and carried them to the kitchen table, Megan following behind. "What about you?"

"Depositions this morning and legal briefs this afternoon." She smiled as Deacon shook his head. "Don't be jealous."

He smiled a crooked smile. "Oh, no chance of that. That sounds painfully boring."

She scrunched up her face and swatted at his arm as she sat. "Stop it. I love what I do."

He laughed. "I know you do. And I'm glad there are people like you that like to do that boring legal stuff." He poured them both coffee and set the mugs at their places before sitting down himself.

Megan eyed him carefully. "You seemed restless last night. Did you have something on your mind?"

He shrugged and frowned. "Not really," he said. He took a sip of coffee, then put down his mug and looked down at his plate. He looked back up at her. "Maybe."

She frowned with concern. "Tell me. Is it something I could help with?"

He nodded. "Actually, maybe you could." He worked his lip for a moment, then said, "If I wanted to be Maddie's father, legally, what would that involve?"

Megan sat back and raised her eyebrows. He'd mentioned this once before in a fit of anger towards Teddy Conrad, but had not brought it up again since he'd started having regular visits with his daughter. "What prompted this?" she asked.

"I think Maddie wants people to know she's my daughter. And, uh, I'd kind of like that too."

"Wow. What does Rayna say about this?"

Deacon scowled. "What difference does that make? What would it take?"

Megan considered that. She wasn't sure exactly how she felt about Deacon's interest in establishing paternity, but she answered him anyway. "Well, since Rayna was married to Teddy when Maddie was born, he is her legal father. You could have a paternity test done to establish that you're her biological father, but typically Teddy would need to give consent to have you declared her legal father. If he won't, you could take him to court and force him to."

Deacon considered that. "I'm pretty sure he isn't going to just hand her over," he said gruffly.

Megan shook her head. "Probably not. And how would Rayna feel about it? I know you don't think it makes a difference, but she _is_ Maddie's mother and she does have a say."

Deacon shrugged. "I don't know. I haven't even talked to her about it." He was silent for a moment. "She's told me I'm Maddie's father and that doesn't seem to be in question. So I guess I wouldn't have to go this legal route. But I would like to be able to say Maddie is my daughter."

Megan just nodded. She felt a cold chill run through her. Once she and Deacon had gotten more serious, she'd asked some questions about him and his relationship with Rayna Jaymes. Based on everything she'd heard and read, she knew he had a very strong connection to Rayna, and not just because they shared a daughter. Their relationship had been passionate and all-consuming and it had made her more than a little nervous. Right now the relationship between Deacon and Rayna was strained, but the few times she'd seen them around each other, she'd sensed that the connection was still there, regardless of whether either of them wanted to acknowledge it. And the fact that they would always be connected through Maddie made her wonder if it was only a matter of time before they got past the awkwardness and found each other again.

She didn't like the thought of it, but she also wondered whether she'd have any choice in it.


	10. Chapter 10

_I really struggled with this chapter and I don't think it's my best, but hopefully you'll forgive me my writer's block this time._

When Maddie got to Deacon's for her Thursday lesson, he had a surprise for her. After they had worked more on the song she'd brought on Tuesday, he brought out a copy of his new album. "Oh, my God," she said with a big smile. "Your album!"

Deacon grinned. "Hot off the presses."

Maddie looked at it and felt proud of him. Her mom had put out lots of albums, of course, but somehow this seemed like a bigger deal. "Will you sign it for me?" she asked, a little shyly.

Deacon was surprised at her request, but it gave him a warm feeling to see how excited she was about it. "Of course," he said. "But you know, based on the songs you're bringing to me, I don't think it will be long before I'm asking you to sign your own."

Maddie blushed. "Do you really think so?"

"I do," he answered. "I'm amazed at your talent."

"Well, I do come from good stock in that regard." She looked wistful. "I wish you'd convince mom to let me spend more time on my music. She's always bugging me about school."

Deacon looked at her seriously. "Education's important, Maddie. I know you're ready to set the world on fire, but a good education gets you off on the right foot."

Maddie pouted. "I know Mom didn't finish high school."

"Neither did I. Which is why it's important to both of us that you finish. Just because we did that doesn't make it the right thing to do. You never know when you'll need it, so just be patient." He gave her a smile. "You should talk to Scarlett. She even went to college."

"She did?"

Deacon nodded. "She did. And I know she enjoyed it." He held up the record then.

Maddie smiled shyly as she read _"To Maddie, You make me smile, Love, Dad."_ She took the album from him. "Thanks."

He smiled at her. "It's true." He walked into the kitchen and got bottled water out of the fridge for both of them.

Maddie sat at the counter, running her finger across the edge of the album. She looked up at Deacon as he handed her the bottle. "I talked to Mom last night about wanting to let people know you're my dad." She sighed. "It's too hard to keep remembering what to say. I'm getting used to this. And I like it. I don't want to hide anymore."

Deacon smiled at her and then ran his hand along the edge of the counter. "It's a tricky thing, though, Maddie. There's a lot of history there and a lot of pain. It's not as simple as just me saying 'Maddie Conrad is my daughter.' People are going to have opinions and probably say some really unkind things."

Maddie shrugged. "Well, maybe Mom shouldn't have made the decisions she made." She looked up at Deacon. "Doesn't it make you mad?"

Deacon took a deep breath and rubbed his hand over his mouth. "You know, Maddie, it's complicated."

Maddie rolled her eyes. The only thing she hated more than "I did what was best for you" was "it's complicated." It really didn't seem so complicated to her. "I don't think it's all that complicated. She got pregnant. She decided not to tell you. She got married to someone else and she lied about it for my whole life. What's complicated about that?"

Deacon sighed. "The way you say it doesn't sound so complicated, but there's a lot more to it than that. People will ask why your mama didn't tell me and will come up with their own reasons no matter what we say. People will challenge her on deciding to marry Teddy and letting people think you were his daughter. But people made bad decisions for good reasons back then, Maddie. Your mama didn't do it to hurt me, she did it because…she loved me." His voice cracked at the end.

Maddie sat quietly and thought about that. She felt an overwhelming sense of sadness, listening to her dad say that her mom had kept him in the dark because she loved him. She knew they loved each other once, because she'd seen pictures that showed they did, and because they had both told her that they had loved each other years ago. What she thought, too, was that maybe they still did. She'd been sure about Deacon, but now she was beginning to think her mom felt the same. What she didn't understand was why they were apart. She looked up at Deacon. "Did you still love her after she got married?" she asked.

Deacon's eyes widened. He wasn't exactly sure how to answer. He didn't really think he wanted to tell her that he'd loved Rayna the entire time she'd been married to Teddy. That he'd gotten sober for her, stayed sober for her, waited for her, until the night she'd finally come to him. But he didn't want to say he hadn't, either, because that wasn't true and he suspected Maddie knew that already. "I always cared about your mama," he said finally. "She was the first woman I ever loved and I've never loved anyone the same way I loved her. I was glad to be in her life all that time. And in her band."

"You started dating again after she and my dad split up."

He nodded. "We did. We wanted to give it another try."

Maddie breathed in and out. "I heard her tell you that she loved you." Tears filled her eyes and she looked away. "That's when I found the paternity test."

"Maddie…."

Maddie shook her head. "No. I just want to be who I am. I want people to know I'm Maddie _Claybourne_. I lived my whole life without knowing that. I really want to live the rest of my life as my real self." She looked at Deacon, his eyes sad and pained. "You know, I'm glad this all happened. Even with the sad parts, I'm glad." She smiled at him.

Deacon leaned on the counter and reached his hand out for hers. "I'm glad it happened too. And we'll figure it all out. Make it right," he said. He cleared his throat. "So, I'm going to be at The Bluebird Saturday night. An 'In the Round.' Do you think your mama would bring you?"

Maddie's smile got bigger. "We can ask her. I'd love to come."

* * *

When Rayna got to Deacon's, Maddie immediately ran up to her and grabbed her hand. "Mom, Deacon invited us to The Bluebird on Saturday to hear him play. Can we go?" She gave her mom a hopeful look.

Rayna looked over at Deacon with surprise on her face and then back to Maddie. "Maddie…" she started.

Maddie frowned. "Please don't say no."

Rayna shrugged. "I guess we can," she said.

Maddie threw her arms around her mom and beamed. "Thanks, Mom!" she cried.

Deacon was standing with his hands in his pockets, working his lip. "Maddie, do you mind waiting outside so I can talk to your mama?"

Maddie looked puzzled, but nodded. "I guess." She leaned in and hugged Deacon. "Bye, Dad. I'll see you Saturday."

Deacon hugged her back and smiled. "See you Saturday." He watched her walk out the door and then turned back to Rayna, who was looking at him carefully. "Things got kind of emotional today," he said. "I know you maybe don't want to bring her to The Bluebird, but I thought it might cheer her up a little."

Rayna frowned with concern. "What happened?"

Deacon rubbed the back of his head. "She was telling me that you had agreed to let us be a little more open about our relationship and it just brought up a bunch of stuff about…all the decisions you made."

"She asked me about that too." She sighed. "This is the stuff I'm not sure how to explain to her. Or _what_ I should explain to her." She smiled ruefully. "She's asked most of the easy questions. Now she's asking the hard stuff." Then she looked up at him earnestly. "I need you to be ready to protect her from all the bad stuff. I can't do this all by myself."

Deacon frowned. "I'll do whatever I can," he said.

"I still don't have the details worked out. I really want to be careful. People will talk. They'll say mean things. Not about her, but about me. Maybe about you. There will be all kinds of speculation and hurtful stuff."

"She's stronger than you know."

Rayna frowned. "No, she's not. She's never had to deal with anything like this. She thinks it's just as simple as saying you are her father, but it's really not. We are going to have to help her. We are her parents…" Her voice broke and tears welled up.

Deacon reached for her hand. "Ray, what is it?"

There was a quick smile and then she drew in a ragged breath. "We are her parents, Deacon," she whispered. "I never thought I'd get to say that." It was what she'd always wanted. In that moment, she felt a bit of her resistance chip away.

Deacon swallowed hard. "We'll do the best we can for her, Ray. Together."

Rayna nodded. "I'm scared, Deacon. For all of us."

Deacon breathed in slowly, then took a step forward, putting his arms around her and pulling her in close. "We'll get through it. I'll be there for you both."

Rayna leaned her face against his chest and nodded, taking deep breaths. After a moment, she pulled back. She wiped away the tears and then smiled bravely. "I guess we'll see you Saturday night."

Deacon put his hands in his pockets and nodded. Then he watched her turn and walk out the door.

* * *

When Rayna got in the car, Maddie was holding the album Deacon had given her on her lap. She turned to her mom and held it up. "Deacon's album," she said proudly. "And he signed it for me."

Rayna smiled at her daughter. She reached out and took the album and looked at it, then turned it over, and handed it back. She remembered when he'd cut the first album he'd made, back before he'd gone to rehab for the very first time, when things were so different. When it felt like the whole world was in front of them. She'd put out her own first album and was getting some decent radio play and some better gigs. She'd encouraged Deacon to do his own album because he had so many great songs that didn't fit her style. He'd resisted, but she was persuasive in her own way, and finally he did it. But the pressure of having to market it and promote it was more than he could deal with. He missed one too many radio promotions because he was hung over or still drunk and interest had waned quickly. He had claimed not to care, but she was never quite sure that was true. She was glad he was finally doing this. For himself. He deserved it. "I'm really glad he tried this again," she said. "He's an amazing songwriter and a great singer. I hope he does well with it."

"Do you miss performing with him?"

Rayna thought about that. The last time he'd performed with her was at the CMA's, when he'd confronted her about Maddie. And it had been a long time before that since he'd been her lead guitarist. She nodded. "Kinda. He was my bandleader for a really long time and he was really good at it. He made me sound good." She grinned at her daughter. "You know, I always said there would be no Rayna Jaymes without Deacon Claybourne. And that's true. I've never really been quite as good without him."

"Why don't you ask him back?"

"Oh, Maddie, there's just too much water under the bridge now for that, I think. Plus he's going out on his own now and I think he should do that. I'm just going to have to find someone else." She started the car and pulled out into the street.

Maddie sat back and thought about that. She was happy for Deacon that he was going out on his own. But she'd grown up with him being part of her mom's band, touring with her, being her 'Uncle Deacon', and she missed that. She smiled to herself as she remembered how he'd let her play on his guitar and he'd show her chords and help her with that. It was a big reason why she'd wanted to play the guitar on her own. She remembered that he'd never treated her like a child, that he'd always talked to her like she was a real person, interested in what she thought and talking to her about things she thought were important. He always listened to her, really listened. He encouraged her. She remembered singing with him when she was younger. She loved to sing her mom's songs and he would accompany her as she sang into a hairbrush on a tour bus or in her mom's dressing room before a show. She had loved watching them during sound check or during a show, the way they understood each other so completely. And now she was getting to experience a life with him as her father, as someone who loved her and wanted the best for her. She was looking forward to being able to stop hiding.

* * *

On Saturday night as she was getting ready for The Bluebird, Daphne was bugging her. "I don't think it's fair," she said, leaning on Maddie's vanity. "I want to go to The Bluebird too."

"Well, you can't. You're too young," Maddie said, looking at her sister. Just then Rayna came in the room.

"Mom," Daphne whined, turning to face her mother. "Please let me go."

Rayna shook her head. "It's going to be way past your bedtime, baby girl. You're going to spend the night at your aunt Tandy's though." She grinned at Daphne hopefully. "You'll have fun with her."

Daphne sighed dramatically. "When am I going to be old enough to go? I'm tired of not being old enough."

Maddie turned to look at her. "When you're fourteen. Duh."

"I _hate_ being ten!" Daphne declared and stomped out of the room.

Rayna and Maddie both watched her leave. Then Rayna turned back to her older daughter, with a smile. "Are you almost ready?"

Maddie nodded and stood up. "I am." She smiled shyly. "I can't wait to see him."

Rayna gave her a small smile. "We're going to be sitting up on the stage near the front window."

Maddie frowned. "Why so far away, Mom? I want to sit right up front."

"Maddie, people will see us. I don't want to make things so obvious. Yet."

Maddie narrowed her eyes. "When then?"

Rayna looked away. "Soon. Just be patient. And trust me."

* * *

After they had dropped off Daphne and headed for The Bluebird, Maddie asked, "How many times have you played at The Bluebird?"

Rayna thought for a moment. "A lot. I'm not sure how many times. Deacon and I played there a lot when we were getting started. He's played there a lot more than me, of course." She looked over at Maddie. "That's where I met him."

Maddie smiled. "I remember. So when is the last time you sang there?"

"Deacon's birthday party, not quite a year ago, I guess."

"He had a birthday party?" Maddie perked up.

Rayna laughed. "Yeah, it was shocking for everyone." She gave Maddie a look. "Deacon doesn't like parties, just so you know, especially ones for him. Juliette put it together, even though people told her not to. He prefers to stay home and watch 'Old Yeller.' But he seemed to have a good time. I went and sang something I'd written for my album that's coming out." She took a deep breath. "The last time we sang together there was a few months before the 'Red Lips, White Lies' tour, when we thought about doing a small venue tour." That had been an emotional experience, for both of them. They had not sung together like that in a very long time and it had brought up a lot of long-buried feelings.

"Someday I hope I get to play at The Bluebird," Maddie said, dreamily.

Rayna looked over at her and gave her a rueful smile. "Maybe you will one day, sweet girl. But not any time soon, I hope. You still have a lot of growing up to do."

Maddie rolled her eyes, but just then they pulled into the parking lot at The Bluebird. She got out of the car and then watched as her mom pulled out a fedora from the backseat and put it on. "Seriously, Mom?" she asked.

Rayna shrugged. "What? I don't want to be the center of attention. I want to be able to enjoy the show. With my daughter." She smiled and put her arm around Maddie's shoulders. "Just a mom and her daughter, like anybody else."

Maddie smiled then. "Okay, I guess." She put her arm around her mom's waist and they walked up to the end of the line that had formed outside.

* * *

Once they were at their table, Maddie watched the people around them. They were seated up on the stage, so they had a good view of the In the Round stage. She noticed that some of the other people around them stole glances at her mom, as though they wondered if she was someone famous. She leaned over to whisper to her mom. "What if Deacon asked you to come up and sing?"

Rayna shook her head. "He won't. He'll be playing with three other people, so it's really not set up for that. Plus, it wouldn't be a good idea."

"I wish I could play with him."

Rayna smiled. "You do. Every Tuesday and Thursday."

Maddie smirked. "You know what I mean. Here."

Rayna reached for her hand and squeezed it. "Don't try to grow up so fast. Enjoy this time in your life."

Just then the songwriters came out that were playing that night. Maddie was happy that Deacon was sitting so that they had a good view of him. He saw them and gave them a quick nod, trying not to draw any attention. She smiled broadly, looking forward to seeing him play again.

Rayna watched him carefully, knowing that she was trusting her daughter to him. As Maddie spent more time with him, she found herself feeling more comfortable with it. And as she felt more comfortable, she knew she needed to let them explore what it meant to be father and daughter, in every way possible. She'd been so angry with Deacon after the accident, but time was mellowing those feelings and deep down inside, she felt something like a small click, that she knew was the beginning of the rebuilding of their connection.

* * *

When the show was over, Maddie and Rayna sat at the table waiting for the crowd to disperse. Deacon was surrounded by fans and Maddie watched proudly. He finally got an opportunity to come over to where they were sitting and pulled up a chair. "Thanks for coming," he said.

Maddie grinned so hard she thought her face might break. "I can't believe you sang 'Believing'! It was awesome!"

Deacon smiled at her. "I wish I could have called you out as my co-writer. Maybe next time." He glanced over at Rayna.

Maddie shook her head, still smiling. "I don't care. I was just happy to hear you sing it."

"It _is_ a beautiful song," Rayna concurred. She smiled at him. "You were great, as always. Thanks for inviting us." She looked over at Maddie. "I thought Maddie was going to burst, she was so excited." She looked around. "I always love coming to this place."

"You should come more often," Deacon said. "I know Erika would love to have you sing. Anytime you want."

Rayna shook her head. "I don't know. It's more of a songwriter's place and I don't write as much these days." She smiled. "But I probably need to come to some open mic nights to see what new talent is out there." Then she turned back to Maddie. "So, it's late. We need to get going."

"Mom," Maddie whined.

"Maddie…" she responded. Maddie sighed. Rayna stood up, as did Deacon, and she gave him a quick hug. "Thanks again."

Deacon nodded and then gave Maddie a pat on the shoulder. "Thanks for coming."

Maddie smiled and whispered, "See you next week." Deacon winked and nodded, and then Maddie followed her mom out of The Bluebird and out to their car.

_**A/N: I've struggled some with my motivation for this story after reading spoilers and seeing promos for upcoming episodes. Ultimately I decided to just write this story the way I envisioned it from the beginning and not worry about the show storylines or what they want us to accept. I hope those of you reading are okay with that. I have my own ideas about how this plays out and what the ultimate outcome of all this is and I'm going to stick to it. So it will be different, but maybe you'll like it better. Thanks for reading and reviewing!**_


	11. Chapter 11

"Girls, can you give your dad and me a minute?" Rayna asked, when Teddy arrived on Sunday afternoon.

Maddie rolled her eyes. She was tired of all the secret conversations. "We'll wait in the car," she said flatly and led Daphne out the door.

Teddy turned to Rayna with a frown. "What's going on?"

Rayna looked away. "Um, I wanted to talk to you about Maddie. And Deacon."

Teddy gave her a sarcastic smirk. "What now? I've already had to give up half my week with _my_ daughter to him, what does he want now?"

"It's not what he wants, it's Maddie. She wants people to know Deacon is her father."

Teddy looked like he was going to blow a gasket. "Are you fucking kidding me, Rayna?" he shouted. "How can you even think about letting that happen?"

Rayna frowned. "He _is_ her father, Teddy. And you knew this could happen. Would happen. How long did you really think we could keep this under wraps?"

"Well, you can be sure I'm going to have a nice, long conversation with her about this."

Rayna shook her head. "Don't. You'll only push her away. She's very set on this and I'm going to try to give it as soft a landing as I can."

Teddy looked at her incredulously. "Are you serious, Rayna? You support this…this _disaster_?"

Rayna gave him a steely gaze. "If it were up to me, she would keep this just for herself. I don't want her to be subjected to people wanting to get into her life. But she is very determined, Teddy. She doesn't want to have to lie anymore." She smirked. "And who are we to encourage her to lie? Isn't that what got us into this mess to start with?"

Teddy wagged a finger at her. "Oh, no, Rayna, _you_ got us into this. You just had to start back with your _relationship_ with Deacon. You couldn't stay away from him, even though he had made such a mess of your life that you couldn't even tell him he was Maddie's father when you got pregnant. _You_ are the reason we are where we are now. When are you planning on taking responsibility for that?"

Rayna gasped. "How dare you!" she cried. "You were the one that suggested we get married and let everyone think Maddie was yours."

Teddy let out a sharp laugh and shook his head ruefully. "You're right, I did suggest that. Because you were so destroyed you didn't think you had any other options. I did it because I loved you then, Rayna. Because I wanted to help you. You could have gone ahead with your plan to tell your drunk of a boyfriend, but _you_ didn't want to do that." He shook his head. "I told you when you insisted that Maddie get to spend more time with Deacon that any fallout was on you. This is on _you_. Maybe you need to look deep inside and figure out _your_ responsibility in all this." He started for the door, then turned back. "Do what you want. I know you will anyway, just like you always have. I'll do whatever I can to help Maddie pick up the pieces. _If_ she'll let me, when it blows up in all of your faces. But don't expect me to stand by your side while you do this." Then he walked out the door, slamming it behind him.

Rayna felt sick. She walked into the den and sat down on the couch, hardly aware of her surroundings. She heard Teddy's words in her head. _You are the reason we are where we are now. You could have gone ahead with your plan to tell your drunk of a boyfriend. This is on you._ She put her head in her hands. No, this wasn't all on her. It couldn't be. He had convinced her it was the only thing to do. That it was best for her unborn baby not to put it in a tenuous situation. Tandy had told her the same thing. _You can't trust him. He's never been able to stay sober. Why would this time be any different? Don't give him a chance to hurt that baby. Or you._ She started to cry. _Oh, my God, did I do this? Is this really my fault? Because I let it happen?_ As she sobbed, she heard a little voice in her head say, _Yes, this is on you._

* * *

Teddy got in the car, the anger bristling off of him. Both Maddie and Daphne sensed it and decided not to say anything. The tension inside the car was intense. Finally Teddy put a smile on his face he did not feel. "How was your week, girls?" he asked.

Daphne looked up at him from the backseat, a big smile on her face. "I got a hundred on my math test yesterday!" she exclaimed.

"You did?" He gave her a genuine smile. "That's terrific, Daph."

"_And_ I'm going to be doing a solo at the next chorus recital."

"I'm not surprised. Both you girls have your mom's talent."

"Mom and I went to The Bluebird last night to hear Deacon," Maddie said.

Teddy looked over at her. "Do you really think that's such a good idea, Maddie?"

Maddie rolled her eyes. "Why not? Deacon invited us."

Teddy exhaled sharply. "We'll talk about it later."

"Why not now?"

Teddy looked at her and frowned. "We'll do it later," he said firmly. Maddie scowled and crossed her arms.

"I didn't get to go," Daphne complained from the backseat. "I'm tired of not being old enough to do stuff."

Teddy looked at her in the rear view mirror and smiled a little. "Sometimes not being old enough is a good thing, Daphne," he said, causing Maddie to fume even more.

Once they got to the house, Maddie stomped up the stairs to her room and slammed the door shut. Daphne was still downstairs with Teddy and looked at him and shook her head sadly. "Teenagers," she said with a sigh.

Teddy smiled at her. "So does that mean I can count on you not to act like a teenager when you're a teenager?" he teased.

Daphne got a confused look on her face. "Well, I won't be like _her_," she said, finally.

"Promise?"

"Promise!" she said with a smile.

"I need to go talk to your sister, so you can go watch some TV if you like."

"Can I watch a movie?"

"Something PG." He winked at her. "I'm going to trust you on that."

"Okay!" Daphne called out as she ran off to the den.

Teddy smiled after her. He was pretty sure she would be just as impossible as a teenager when she got there, but he was thankful he would not have to put up with the particular drama he was dealing with from Maddie. He picked up Daphne's bags and carried them upstairs, leaving them outside her room, and then made his way to Maddie's room. He knocked on her door. "Maddie," he called out.

"Go away!" she called back.

He turned the door knob, which was thankfully not locked, and walked in. "Maddie, we need to talk," he said.

Maddie scowled at him. "I told you to go away."

Teddy gave her a rueful smile. "I'm not going away, Maddie." He walked over and stood next to her as she was lying on her bed. "Your mom told me that you are planning to announce to the world that Deacon is your biological father."

"Stop calling him that. You make it sound like it's something awful." Maddie's face was dark with anger.

"What happened then was awful, Maddie. I don't know why you try to romanticize it."

"I'm not doing that. I'm just trying to find out more about where I came from. Why I am who I am."

Teddy felt angry. It seemed like she was dismissing her entire life with him. "You're who you are because of your mother and me, not because of Deacon Claybourne. I'm not surprised that your mother would try to make this all sound so wonderful and cover up the ugly parts. But Deacon, well, Deacon doesn't even remember any of it, so I don't know what he can add that's of value."

Maddie's eyes widened in surprise. "What do you mean, Deacon doesn't remember any of it?" she asked.

Teddy realized that he'd let his anger take over. As much as he hated Deacon, he hadn't meant to hurt his daughter. He scrambled to cover up his blunder. "I just meant that he doesn't know any of what happened when all those decisions were made. He was back in rehab. He wasn't even there."

Maddie wasn't sure if that's really what he'd meant at all, but she also wasn't sure what Deacon wouldn't remember. "I don't want to talk to you anymore," she said.

Teddy sighed an inward sigh of relief that she had left that alone. "Maddie, I don't think it's a good idea to let people outside the family know that Deacon is your biological father."

Maddie glared at him. "Stop calling him that," she said firmly, enunciating each word carefully.

Teddy walked over to the door. "We're not done talking about this," he said.

"_I_ am," she responded as he walked out of her room. She got up and closed her door, locking it. Then she went back and sat on her bed, pulling her phone out of her backpack. She called her mom, grateful that she answered.

"Hey, Maddie," Rayna said, a note of surprise in her voice.

"Mom, Dad's being impossible."

Rayna frowned. She was sure Teddy had made a point of saying something about Deacon to Maddie. "Why do you say that?" she asked.

Maddie didn't answer the question. "Mom, he got mad about my wanting to say Deacon's my dad and he said Deacon didn't remember any of it anyway. What did he mean?" Her voice was trembling.

Rayna closed her eyes and silently cursed Teddy. She knew he was upset, but she couldn't believe that he had thrown that out there. That was a piece of information she was determined to keep from Maddie, no matter what the cost. She struggled to find her voice. "I don't know, Maddie," she said hoarsely.

"I asked him and he said that it was that Deacon was in rehab, but I don't think that's really what he meant."

"Well, sweetheart, Deacon _was_ in rehab then." Twice, in fact, which essentially covered almost all of that time period. But his blackouts were what really caused him not to know what had happened between the two of them and she knew that fact was hard on him and she wouldn't put in on their daughter. "He wasn't part of the decision at the time. I think that's what your dad meant."

Maddie sighed loudly. "Well, he's being a jerk."

"Maddie, don't say that."

"Well, he is."

"Maddie, he's just scared. He's worried about you, just like I am. And like Deacon is. This is a big deal and it's a little scary." She took a deep breath. "I'll talk to him again, okay?"

"Okay." Maddie felt tears prick her eyes and she rubbed her face. "Bye, Mom."

"Bye, sweet girl." As she hung up, Rayna was furious. She decided she needed to go see Teddy the next day.

* * *

Late Monday morning, Teddy got a call from Maddie's school concerning her grades. Her guidance counselor expressed concern about Maddie's lack of attention in class and failure to complete homework assignments. Her grades in several classes had dropped from A's to C's. After he got off the phone, he sat at his desk thinking about what to do. He blamed all of it on Deacon. Deacon and his interference in Maddie's life. He and Rayna had always had an understanding that the girls would focus on school first. He acknowledged that they were talented, but both he and Rayna were in agreement that they would finish college before embarking on any kind of career, performing or otherwise. He decided he needed to put his foot down with Maddie. Clearly Rayna was too involved in launching her new label to pay attention to what the girls were doing. And Deacon, well, Deacon would more than likely undo everything he and Rayna had carefully laid out for Maddie's future.

* * *

Teddy was surprised when Rayna burst into his office, an angry look on her face, slamming the door behind her. She marched up to his desk. "What in the hell did you think you were doing when you told Maddie Deacon didn't remember anything? How could you have done that?" Her eyes were flashing and she was clenching her fists.

Teddy stood up slowly, smoothing his tie. "What, did she call you? Text you?"

"She called me, Teddy. She was upset and confused. What is the matter with you?"

Teddy scowled. "Look, she's getting out of hand and challenging me on everything. I didn't mean to say it, but she was being disrespectful."

Rayna shook her head. "Teddy, I have to be able to count on you. I know you're not happy about all this, but that's no reason to hurt Maddie in the process."

Teddy rubbed the back of his neck. "I know that, Rayna. I'm sorry. But she's acting out. And not just about Deacon. Her grades are slipping."

Rayna put her hands on her hips and sighed. "Yes, I know. I got a call from the school."

"I'm going to have to put some pressure on her about her schoolwork. Can I count on your support with that?"

Rayna closed her eyes and nodded. She looked back at Teddy. "Of course. I have your back on that. But I need you to control yourself with respect to Deacon." She suddenly looked weary. "I understand your concern. I am concerned too. But she's fourteen and she's not a baby anymore. She has a mind of her own and, if we push her, I think she could turn away from us. I'm trying very hard to manage that without letting it get out of control. I need you not to fight me about this."

"Rayna, I understand that she's testing her boundaries. And she thinks because she's got this new parent in the mix, that she can use him to put a wedge between us. I want to protect her too." He shook his head. "I think you're making a huge mistake. I don't know that I can support you on this, but I won't fight with you. But I am asking you to protect what I have with Maddie."

"Of course. You're her dad. She knows that. But this is new and she has to explore it." She raised her eyebrows. "And I think we owe her that."

Teddy nodded, but he still worried about what this would mean for Maddie. And for Rayna and him.

* * *

Rayna called a meeting late Monday afternoon with Bucky, Tandy, and her PR person to discuss the issue of making a statement about Maddie and Deacon. After her conversation with Teddy, she was afraid that things would get out of control quickly and she wanted to be ready. "I'm not necessarily ready to release anything, but I want to draft something. About my daughter Maddie," she said, as an explanation to Rebecca, the PR lead.

Rebecca looked puzzled. "What about Maddie?" she asked. Bucky and Tandy exchanged glances.

Rayna looked down at her hands, avoiding looking Rebecca in the eye. "Maddie's real father is Deacon Claybourne."

Rebecca's voice reflected her confusion. "But you were married to Teddy Conrad when Maddie was born. I don't understand."

Rayna sighed. "I was pregnant when Teddy and I got married."

"Right…."

"Deacon and I weren't together then, but I was, uh, with him one night, and that's when I got pregnant. Deacon was in really bad shape then and between times in rehab. Teddy offered to marry me and raise the baby as his own."

"Wow." Rebecca looked stunned. Then she wrinkled her forehead. "But I don't understand. Why make a statement about it?"

Bucky cut in then. "Maddie found out that Deacon is her father and they've been exploring that relationship. She wants to make it more public."

Rebecca was silent for a moment. Finally she said, "But nobody knew about this, so it's going to be kind of a big deal." She looked at Rayna. "I'm surprised Deacon would have agreed to let Teddy be the baby's father. Or at least letting it go on all this time."

Rayna took a deep breath and looked away. "He didn't know either." She felt sick saying it out loud.

"My God, Rayna," Rebecca murmured. She sat back in her chair. "This could really be a disaster. How were you intending to announce this?"

Rayna couldn't speak. She looked pleadingly at her sister. Tandy turned to Rebecca. "All we want to do is acknowledge that Deacon is Maddie's father. No other details."

"Tandy, Rayna, this is a pretty big piece of information. There's never even been a hint that Maddie isn't Teddy Conrad's daughter. I think it's going to raise a lot of questions. You don't just throw something out there like that and expect people to just accept it and go on."

"But it's nobody's business," Tandy said testily.

"Maybe not, but it's not enough. All that will do is get the press digging. Which they may do anyway. We need to give them something else."

"Like what?"

Rebecca thought for a moment. "Okay, I think we need to at least acknowledge that the decision was made to allow the Mayor to be Maddie's legal father, but now that Maddie is old enough, she wants to know her real father…."

"I don't want this to be on Maddie," Rayna interrupted. "I would prefer that it just be that Deacon is her father and that the decision was made when I married Teddy to let him be her father. No questions. No further comment."

"But what about the Mayor? And Deacon? What are they going to say?"

Rayna shook her head. "I don't know," she whispered. She got up and walked out then. Tandy got up and followed her.

Rebecca looked at Bucky. "This is going to be a nightmare," she said. "She could be screwed."

* * *

Tandy found Rayna standing out on the patio. She walked up to her sister and put her arms around her. "Sweetheart, come…."

Rayna pushed Tandy away and turned, glaring at her. "Lies!" she cried. "Our whole lives have been lies! I can't live like this anymore. The lying has to stop."

Tandy sighed. "I know you don't really want to lay all of this out for everyone to know. Especially Maddie."

"No, I don't. And I don't want to humiliate Deacon any more than he probably already has been. I'm the one that's going to have to take the fall for this. It's all on me."

Tandy looked astonished. "What? Rayna, you weren't the only person involved in this."

"No, but _I_ was the one who was pregnant. _I_ was the one with the decision to make. _I_ was the one who could've made another choice." She threw her hands up in the air. "I wanted to tell him. Even after I knew he was still drinking, I wanted to tell him. I loved him, Tandy. But everyone told me that was wrong. And I was so afraid. So I lied to him." She started to cry. "I lied to the only man I ever loved. And now it's all a mess." She collapsed onto a lounge chair.

Tandy went and sat next to her, wrapping her up in her arms. "You did it for Maddie. Maybe we shouldn't have let it go on as long as it did, I'll give you that. But you were in a terrible place and you made the only decision you could at the time."

Rayna shook her head. "I should have told him. I don't know what I was thinking." She gave her sister a sad smile. "He got sober. He got sober and I should have told him. So many things could have been different if I'd been more brave."

Tandy squeezed her sister's shoulders. "Babe, you _were_ brave. But yes, we could have done things differently. It seemed like the right reason at the time." She took a deep breath. "You could share a little more of what was going on then. That might help."

"No. I don't want to hurt Maddie. I guess if I think about a choice between hurting her and hurting the label, I'd rather hurt the label than hurt her one more time."

Tandy leaned her head on her sister's shoulder. Everything seemed so impossible right now. The truth was that, nearly fifteen years ago now, no one thought about what might happen one day. No one considered that they couldn't keep the fact that Deacon was Maddie's father a secret forever. Tandy felt a pain in her heart as she realized that as much as Deacon had destroyed Rayna with his drinking and addictions, it had destroyed her more to turn away from him.

* * *

After dinner that night, Teddy sent the girls off to do homework. He took some calls and then went into the den where Maddie was playing her guitar. Daphne was sitting on the floor across from her, humming along to the tune. He decided not to be heavy-handed. "Hey, girls," he said jovially.

"Hey, Dad," Daphne said. Maddie just smiled.

He looked at Maddie. "So that doesn't look like a presentation on the Battle of Liberty Gap," he said, trying to be easygoing.

Maddie looked up and smiled again. "I'm working on a new song. I'm going to play it for Deacon when I go over there."

Daphne waved some papers. "I finished my math problems. Can you check them for me?"

Teddy glanced at his younger daughter. "Sure, honey, just a sec and I'll do that." He turned back to Maddie. "Maddie, the school called me today and said your grades are dropping and you have a C in history. I know things have been tough lately, but if your hobbies are getting in the way of school…."

Maddie scowled. "Music isn't just a hobby, Dad."

"Well, it's gonna have to be for now." He reached out and took her guitar. "You need to make school a priority. So you need to start working on that presentation. If you make some progress on it over the next couple days, you'll get this back in time to go to Deacon's."

Maddie glared at him and stormed out of the room.


	12. Chapter 12

Maddie sat on her bed at Deacon's. She ran her hand over the new blue bedspread and smiled. After she'd finished her lesson, Deacon had nervously shown her the newly purchased bedspread in the color she said was her favorite. That, along with other accessories, had been picked out by Scarlett. He looked relieved when she told him they were perfect. He had also proudly showed her the record player he'd found, contrary to Scarlett's contention they weren't made anymore. It made her feel warm inside to know that he'd thought of her and tried so hard to please her.

When Rayna had brought her over, Maddie had begged her to come in. "Can you come in for just a little bit, Mom? I'd really like you to hear the song Deacon and I have been working on." Rayna had looked hesitant. "Please, Mom?" she'd pleaded.

Rayna had smiled. "Of course. I'd love to hear your music," she said, and got out of the car and walked up to the door with Maddie. When Deacon answered the door, he'd look surprised to see Rayna hovering behind their daughter, looking a little unsure. "Maddie invited me," she'd said quickly. "She wanted me to hear your latest song."

Deacon had smiled. "That's great, Ray. I think you'll really be impressed. It's mostly Maddie's song though."

Maddie had been excited for her mom to hear her again. The last time she and Deacon had played for her, when they'd done 'Believing', she had thought she'd seen a spark of connection between the two of them. She'd been hopeful when her mom had asked her dad to help her write a song, that had turned into 'This Time', but it hadn't progressed beyond that. She was going to keep trying though. She and Deacon sat next to each other with their guitars, Rayna sitting across from them, looking on encouragingly. Maddie looked up at her and smiled. "We just finished this one. I told Dad that I really liked 'This Time' and how upbeat it was, so this one is kind of like that."

They started to play and then Maddie began singing. _I'm pretty sure we almost broke up last night / I threw my phone across the room at you / I was expecting some dramatic turn away / But you stayed. / This morning I said we should talk about it / 'Cause I read you should never leave a fight unresolved / That's when you came in wearing a football helmet / And said "okay, let's talk. / And I said stay, stay, stay / I've been lovin' you for quite some time, time, time / You think that it's funny when I'm mad, mad, mad / But I think that it's best if we both stay._

Maddie was pleased to see that Rayna look happily surprised. More than anything, she wanted her mom to be proud of her. She so much wanted to follow in Rayna's footsteps and she hoped her mom could see how dedicated she was. When they finished the song, Rayna sat back and clapped enthusiastically with a genuinely gleeful smile on her face. "Maddie, that was wonderful!" she cried. "I really loved it."

Maddie had beamed. "I'm glad you liked it. I was working on something else that was more serious and I got stuck, so I tried this and it worked."

Deacon had smiled at her and then looked over at Rayna. "She's really something, Ray. I think one day she's going to outshine us both."

Rayna gave them a coy look. "Well, I always want to be on top, but you know what? I'd take a backseat for you, sweet girl." Then she gave her a teasingly stern look. "_After_ you graduate, of course."

Maddie had rolled her eyes, but was still smiling anyway. "Someday I'd like to sing with you and Dad," she said shyly.

Rayna had raised her eyebrows and then looked over at Deacon. "You never know," she said quietly. She stood up then. "I need to get going, y'all," she said. "Thank you for playing your song for me, Maddie. That was so good. I'm so proud of you."

Maddie had smiled. Deacon had gotten up and walked her mom out, closing the door and not coming back for a few minutes. She wondered what they'd talked about. She was happy they were talking more. She found herself wondering, not for the first time, how two people who had so obviously loved each other so much moved so far apart. She knew there was a strain between the two of them because of the accident, but she had sensed in both of them, when she asked questions, that something was still there. At least she thought so.

* * *

As Rayna drove home, she thought about what had just happened. This was the second time she'd listened to Maddie and Deacon play together and it overwhelmed her as much this time as it had the first. She'd known Maddie was talented as a singer, but her songwriting skills were more than she had anticipated. She remembered giving Maddie the guitar that her mom had given her all those years ago, and telling Maddie to use it to work out her feelings, in the aftermath of her separation from Teddy. She'd had no idea then that Maddie would find out about Deacon being her father and then start to develop this connection with him. Clearly Maddie was Deacon's daughter; her songwriting skills proved that. She, more than anyone, knew that Deacon could make anyone sound better, but she knew this wasn't just Deacon. This was her amazingly talented daughter, who had inherited her talent from both parents. She would fight to keep Maddie away from the music business until she had at least finished high school, but she was afraid that Deacon would be more encouraging. It made her heart ache to see how proud he was of her, though, after she'd kept her from him all these years.

When Deacon had walked her out, he'd told her how grateful he was that she was letting him get to know Maddie better. He had promised to always put her wellbeing first, something he knew Rayna had been concerned about in the beginning. She had acknowledged to him that could see that he was trying and that she felt more comfortable about their relationship. She couldn't help but think about what could have been. She found herself thinking about that more often these days, as her world collided more often with Deacon's, in ways she hadn't expected. In many respects, she still felt that they needed to move on separately. She still worried that Deacon's demons could resurface. What she had told Maddie about her life with Deacon was true – there had been some amazing times, but it had also been the most painful and tumultuous time of her life and she wasn't at all sure she could risk that again, or that she wanted to.

When she got home, she smiled to herself as she heard Luke whistling in her bedroom. She walked in and he was combing his wet hair, a towel loosely wrapped around his waist. She went over and kissed him. "Sorry I'm late, babe. My errands took longer than I thought they would. I'll hurry up and get ready."

"Take your time. I'm the last one on, so we're good." Luke was the top-billed act for a special Thursday night Opry show and she was going with him to cheer him on. She'd told him that she was only there as his supportive girlfriend, not to sing. He'd playfully tried to convince her to do a duet with him, but she'd been firm that it was his night, not hers.

As she showered, she considered the fact that she had not told him what she'd been doing that afternoon. That she had not told him _anything_ about Deacon being Maddie's father. Up to this point, she had not felt that it was something she'd wanted to share outside the immediate circle. She had been displeased that Maddie had told Juliette and, despite her promise to keep her lips sealed, Rayna knew that Juliette could be a loaded gun. She was treading carefully with her now as her newest Highway 65 act because she was aware that if she pissed Juliette off too much, she might leak the secret. Rayna knew she would have to tell Luke about Deacon and Maddie before she went public, but she had no idea how he might react. It made her nervous. As it all did.

* * *

After her lesson that day, Deacon and Maddie had talked about what her aspirations were. "You know, I really want to be a musician. To sing and play on stage, like you and Mom," she said. "I just wish Mom was more interested in helping me. She wasn't a whole lot older than me when she started."

Deacon was thoughtful. "That is true. I think it's just that it can be a really hard life. I know that you look at your mom up on stage and think that it's all glamorous and exciting, but she went through a lot of years of playing in dives and not making much money and having to perform almost every night for a lot of people who didn't appreciate her. And even when you do get a record deal, it's no guarantee."

"What do you have to do?"

"First of all, there's a lot of interviews and radio shows you have to be on to promote your record. And lots of times, the DJ's aren't nice, or, if you're a woman, they try to take advantage of you. And they still may not play your record much. Then you still do a lot of honky tonk shows."

Maddie looked at him. "Is that what you're doing now?"

Deacon nodded. "Yeah. Minus the radio shows. But if I play enough, that will come, hopefully. And someone will think my songs are good and start playing them on the radio. That's really the only way to make it big in country music, is to get on the radio. You can have a good career playing clubs and stuff, though, and lots of people do that their whole career. Nothing wrong with that. You're doing it for the love of the music, not for the fame."

Maddie nodded. "And some people mostly write for other people, right?"

"That is true. I don't know if you know Gunnar, that used to write with Scarlett, but he's one of those people. He plays around town, but he's probably going to be a lot better known for the songs he writes."

Maddie smiled. "He wrote 'Ball and Chain', right?"

"Yeah, he did."

"Do you write songs for other people?"

"Not usually. I like to play the stuff I write. But you know I did help your mama write 'This Time' for her new album."

Maddie smiled. "But y'all wrote together for a long time before."

"Yes, we did."

Maddie sat up. "And you've written some songs with Juliette."

Deacon smiled. "Yes, I did that too. So I do write with other people, just not a lot. And I haven't really written songs that other people sing. But a lot of artists that come here to be a star end up doing that." It felt good talking to his daughter about his passion. Their shared passion. "So, there's a lot of things you could do."

Maddie smiled shyly. "I think I'd like to do what you do. Write songs and play them and not worry about being famous."

"You know, Maddie, I think you really could do that. The songs you've brought me so far have been amazing, especially for someone so young. You have great instincts and good lyrical talent. And your melodies are incredible. I think you could really do it all, if you set your mind to it. You could be better than us all." He smiled proudly at her.

Maddie beamed. "Thanks, Dad. That means a lot coming from you." She ran her fingers over the strings of her guitar, then looked back up at Deacon. "Did Mom ever think about giving up?"

Deacon looked thoughtful. "You'd have to ask her to be sure, but I don't think she ever did. She was very determined." He chuckled. "I think some of that was because she was trying to prove to your grandfather that she could do it. But it was a lot of hard work and there definitely were times when she felt like it would never happen. Every time she got disappointed, I'd try to cheer her up. We hardly made any money back then, barely enough to rent a one bedroom apartment and keep the fridge half stocked. But we'd go walk along the bridge over the river and stand and look at downtown Nashville. I would tell her she was going to be the queen of country music one day and all of that would be laid out at her feet. She would laugh, but I think it gave her the courage to keep fighting. And then finally it all worked out."

"How did it happen?"

Deacon smiled as he thought back to that morning. "Bucky came by – he was her manager back then, too – and woke us up." He laughed. "I remember being ticked off, but he was about to bust he was so excited. When your mama finally came out of the bedroom, he waved some papers in her face and told her she was opening for George Strait. She thought he was kidding, but then he put the papers down on the table and it was a real contract to open for George Strait." He leaned back and smiled, thinking about that morning. "Watty was always trying to get people to listen to her and George did and he liked what he heard. And he turned out to be the one who really opened doors for her. George was the number one country artist then and if he liked you, you were gold. Your mama has never forgotten that." He sat up and leaned forward, raising his eyebrows. "Remember that. When someone opens the door for you, and it will happen, never let it take you over. Always be grateful and be ready to help someone else behind you."

Maddie was enchanted by what Deacon was telling her. She wanted that life. She didn't care if she was famous, she just wanted to be able to do what she loved. "Will you help me?" she asked.

Deacon felt like his heart would burst. He didn't want to step on Rayna's toes, but he didn't want to hold Maddie back either. He knew that Rayna wanted to protect Maddie, but the girl was amazingly talented and deserved to be heard. "I'll do whatever I can, Maddie. I promise," he said.

* * *

_Actually I do have a cool dad. He's the only one who understands me, supports me being a musician._ That's what she'd told Talia, when she'd called to tell her about her day. It was like a dream come true. She thought back to when she'd first found out Deacon was her dad. It had been incredibly unsettling and then there had been the accident. Finding out Deacon was an alcoholic and thinking he had caused the accident that nearly killed her mom had made her not want to know him, had been embarrassing. But as time went on, there was a pull she'd felt to get to know him, and now she was glad that she had. Everything seemed to be coming together. Well, _almost_ everything.

* * *

Rayna was giggling when Luke helped her into the house. It had been a long time since she'd gotten drunk like this. Even though she'd told him she didn't want to sing that night, he'd pulled her out on stage with him anyway and she had pretended to be reluctant. But being in front of an audience was what she lived for and she always enjoyed singing at the Opry. They'd gone to an after party and she'd let herself go a little, knowing that Luke would get her home safely, that she didn't have to be the responsible one anymore.

She'd felt less inhibited that night and had playfully pulled him back to her bedroom and done an awkward strip tease for him, tripping over her feet and getting tangled in her blouse until he'd helped her out of it, as they both laughed. It had been a really long time since she'd let loose like this and more than once he'd teasingly asked her what she'd done with the real Rayna Jaymes. She had giggled some more, wrapping herself up in the sheets, telling him he couldn't have the covers. He'd looked a little perplexed and then she'd rolled over and fallen asleep.

* * *

She wasn't sure if she was awake or dreaming. Everything felt a little fuzzy, slightly out of focus. What she _was_ conscious of, whether it was real or a dream, was the man spooning her from behind. She smiled to herself and pressed her ass firmly against him. She loved when Deacon woke her up in the middle of the night and they had lazy, half-conscious sex. She was ready for him. She moaned softly, waiting for Deacon's hand to slide between her legs.

When she felt a hand cup her ass and then slide down, and she heard the whispered, "mmm, baby" in her ear, she was instantly wide awake. This wasn't Deacon, it was Luke. Her eyes were wide open and her lips formed a silent O as she realized what she'd been thinking. She let her body respond to what Luke was doing to her, but her mind was racing. And when it was over, a tear slid down her face as she acknowledged to herself that she did miss him. Still.

* * *

When Rayna got up the next morning, Luke was making pancakes for her. He'd even made his own buttermilk, he proudly told her. She smiled a little and told him that she really wasn't that hungry. Coffee was what she needed. She remembered that she had thought she was making love with Deacon the night before and she could hardly look at Luke now.

Seeing him in the kitchen like that had reminded her of Deacon. Not Teddy, who'd also made breakfast for her, but Deacon. She turned away. All of Maddie's questions were stirring up memories and old emotions. She knew that. But she'd started to miss him. And she didn't want to.

She really wanted this relationship with Luke. He was someone who truly was her equal, who had the same power she did. Someone she never had to worry about. Someone she'd never have to pull out of a motel or find passed out in a bar, someone she'd never have to sit in an ER waiting room for, wondering if he was dead or alive.

This was stable. This was solid. It was what she'd told Maddie she'd been looking for when she'd married Teddy. And look how _that_ turned out.

She told herself this was different. Luke understood her in a way Teddy never had and never wanted to. And he was lovely in bed. He did all the right things and she enjoyed being with him. But she was finding herself missing the primal intimacy she'd had with Deacon. While Luke understood her, he didn't _know_ her the way Deacon did. But in the cold light of day, she focused on getting back her resolve.

_Stop_, she told herself. _That's over. I can't go back there. There's been too much damage._

* * *

When Maddie got home to Deacon's after school on Friday, she was happy spring break was coming up and she had a week off from school. "I'm just tired of studying," she told Deacon, as she sat at the kitchen counter and he got her a root beer from the fridge. "It just gets in the way of doing what I really want to do. Music."

Deacon gave her a stern look. "School is important, Maddie. I know all the songwriting and playing is fun, but you need to stay focused on school."

Maddie sighed exaggeratedly. "My other dad thinks it's just a hobby, but it's not. Music is my life!"

Deacon wondered if there was something he could do to help her put it all into perspective. If music was where her passion was, he wanted to support it, but she was still pretty young and needed a little more time. He looked at her thoughtfully. "I was thinking maybe you and me could go to this place down in Columbia called 'Puckett's Grocery' tomorrow night. It's kind of a hole-in-the-wall place, a Southern food joint, but there's always someone playing there. Some of those folks that are just starting out, like I told you about. Would you like to do that?"

Maddie's face lit up. "I would love that!" she cried excitedly. "Is it someplace you and Mom played?"

He shook his head. "Not your mom and me, but I've played there a time or two. Back when I first got to Nashville, so a really long time ago." He smiled. "Maybe Scarlett can go with us. She'll be leaving for the tour Sunday, so it'll give us some time with her."

Maddie smiled. "That would be great." She took a sip of her root beer. "Did you know that Mom is taking Daphne and me out to Seattle to see the first show? Juliette is sending her plane back and everything."

Deacon grinned. "Ah, so you're going in style then. That's a nice plane."

"Yeah. Since it's spring break, we can go. We're flying out on Monday and we'll see the show that night. I'm so excited to see Scarlett perform." She smiled playfully. "And Juliette, of course."

* * *

Friday night was pizza night, Maddie and Deacon decided. It would be their ritual. Since Deacon had picked out the movie the last time, this time it was Maddie's turn. She picked 'Don't Say a Word', which she told Deacon was one of her favorite scary movies. When it was over, he didn't think it was very scary, but he understood why she liked it. They talked for a while about their favorite movies and then she turned the conversation back to more personal things.

"When did you see me for the first time?" she asked, looking at him carefully.

Deacon took a deep breath. It had been so long ago, when his sobriety was still so new and so fragile, and when seeing Rayna with her new baby had been so painful and heartbreaking. "Well, I guess you were maybe six months old. Watty had called me and when I got there your mama was there. With you." He looked at Maddie and smiled. "You were sound asleep in a little car seat thing. You were a pretty little thing, even then." He reached out and squeezed her hand and she smiled. "Your mama wanted to ask me to come back and play in her band. So I did."

"What was it like all those years? Playing in her band?"

"Not always easy, I have to be honest. I still had a lot of feelings about your mama. Not all of them were good. I was still really hurt that she'd married your dad. But we worked through it and she was my best friend."

Maddie smiled shyly. "What was I like back then?"

Deacon laughed. "You were a really good baby, I remember. You didn't cry much, which I think your mama was thankful for. She really didn't want anyone to be sorry she brought you along, but she couldn't bear to be away from you then." He looked at Maddie closely. "She always loved you so much, Maddie. You were the most important person in her life. Always."

Maddie looked down and then back up at Deacon. "What was I like when I got older?"

"You were always curious. And quiet." Deacon grinned. "And you always loved music. You tried to play my guitars almost from the time you could stand up. And you were always smart as a whip."

"And Mom never minded me spending time with you?"

Deacon shook his head. "I guess now, when I think about it, I realize she wanted us to have a relationship. And even though I never really thought about being a dad or thought I was good with kids, you were always easy to be with." He looked at her a little wistfully. "I always loved you, Maddie."

Maddie nodded. "I know." She sighed. "Are you still mad at Mom?"

He thought about what to say. This was kind of the crux of it all. He and Rayna had carefully forged a relationship that was mostly about being parents to Maddie. They still had small moments where old memories surged forward, but they had both carefully, and quickly, pushed them down. He thought that Rayna was trying to keep him at arms' length, even while she made small overtures in his direction. He couldn't help but think of what he'd missed. He knew Rayna wanted him to "protect" Maddie, whatever that meant exactly, but he wanted to be honest with her. They had so much to catch up on and he didn't want to play games with her. And so he nodded hesitantly. "Yeah," he said. "Not like I was when I first found out, but I'm still mad that I didn't know about you. And that we lost all that time together. But, after the accident, I understood why she did what she did. I don't like it and it still hurts when I think about it. But I know she didn't mean to hurt me. Or you. She thought she was doing the right thing for you."

Maddie thought about that for a moment. "I still get mad about it. It makes me mad that we spent all that time together and I never knew you were my father." She sighed. "It's hard for me to understand why she thought it was the right thing to do. How she could have gone all those years pretending."

Deacon's heart broke for his daughter. He felt a lot of what she was feeling, but she didn't have the benefit of being a grown up and understanding why people made hard choices sometimes. "I don't think it was easy for her, Maddie. I think she was doing the best she could. I wish she'd found a way to tell us before, but she didn't, and we just have to go on from here."

Maddie's eyes flashed with anger. "But it's still not right," she declared.

"No, it's not. It hurt you and it hurt me. But it hurt her too. We have to give her a chance to make it right, Maddie. I'm not saying it will be easy, because it's not, but we need to try." The sadness in her eyes cut through him and suddenly she threw herself at him, hugging him hard. He grabbed her up and held her tightly, trying to help them both move forward.

* * *

When Scarlett got home from the studio, she found her uncle slumped down on the couch, looking wrung out. She sat down across from him. "Deacon, what's wrong?" she asked quietly.

Deacon rubbed his face and turned towards her, his eyes full of pain and anguish. "Maddie asked me tonight if I was still mad at Rayna," he said.

Scarlett raised her eyebrows. "What did you say to her?" she asked quietly.

He choked out a bitter laugh. "I told her I was. And then I told her that Rayna had done the best she could. That we needed to let her try to make things right." He shook his head and then he looked at his niece with steely determination. "But I'm mad as hell, Scar."

Scarlett took a deep breath. "I thought things were better between y'all."

Deacon shrugged. "Sort of. In that we talk now. About Maddie. But we still haven't talked about what really happened." He sat up and buried his face in his hands. "At first, I thought I could get through it. But the more time I spend with Maddie, the more I realize how much I missed with her. And it pisses me off."

Scarlett sighed. "You might not want to hear this, but what's done is done. I know you're hurt, and Maddie's hurt, but it's not like you can change what's already happened."

"No, we can't." Deacon gave her a bitter smile. "But she could have told me. I was sober for all those years. And I was around Maddie all that time. And never knew she was my daughter." He made a growling noise and stood up, clenching his fists. "I gotta get out of here," he said.

Scarlett felt a shiver of fear run up her spine. "Wh…where are you going?" she asked, her voice small.

"Don't worry," his voice sounding both defiant and bitter. "I'm going to a meeting." He walked over to the door, grabbed his keys, and left.

* * *

When he came home later that night, Scarlett was in her room, still awake. She knew an alcoholic could find a meeting almost any time of day or night, but she still worried. She listened carefully as he came in the house and walked into his bedroom. His footsteps were steady, nothing sounded out of the ordinary. She let out the breath she was holding and tried to fall asleep.

_**Two notes: The song Maddie sings is "Stay, Stay, Stay" by Taylor Swift. And yes, I added another Luke moment, but only to advance the story. I'm sorry! I hate it too!**_


	13. Chapter 13

On Saturday, Deacon was determined not to let his anger of the night before spoil the day with Maddie. He really thought that he'd put aside the bitterness, but he had realized, when she'd asked him if he was still mad at Rayna, that it was still there. He had worked through a good bit of it and he did understand why she'd made the decisions she had; he had not lied about that. But spending time with Maddie now reminded him of all the experiences he'd missed with her over the course of her life. He hadn't gotten the chance to hold her when she was born or sit up with her when she was sick or watch her go off to school on her first day. She'd gotten contacts without him knowing and he had never seen one of her report cards or gotten to take her to a father/daughter dance, if they even still had those things. He glared at the coffee pot as he waited for it to finish because he had no one to glare at. It was moments like these that he wanted to grab Rayna and shake her until she told him she was sorry, that she took responsibility too.

He heard footsteps on the stairs and took a deep breath to settle his emotions, knowing it was his daughter. She came around the corner into the kitchen and he turned to see her, smiling at him happily. "Hey, Dad," she said. "I smelled something good."

He smiled back at her and pointed towards a box on the counter. "I went out and got cinnamon rolls and donuts. I figure everyone likes those." He looked at her cautiously. "I hope you do too."

She nodded. "I love cinnamon rolls. Every time I stay with Aunt Tandy, she has cinnamon rolls." She laughed. "Mainly because she doesn't cook. She even tried to make the ones you get in a can and she messed those up. So now she just buys them." She took a seat at the counter and pulled the box over and opened the lid. Her eyes widened as she looked at the large pastries. "Oh, wow, these look great!" She looked up at him. "Can you heat one up for me?"

Deacon nodded and smiled. "I can do that," he said. He got a plate and let her pick one to put on it. She waited while he heated it in the microwave and then brought it back to her, along with a fork. "I hope it's not too hot."

She cut a piece and brought it up to her mouth, blowing on it for a second and then popped it in her mouth. As she chewed, she closed her eyes and smiled. When she swallowed, she looked at him. "Perfect!" she pronounced.

Deacon smiled. "Anything to drink?"

"Just water."

Deacon pulled a bottled water out of the fridge and handed it to her. "So, I need to run to the guitar store this morning. Any interest in tagging along?"

Maddie's face lit up. "Yes!" she cried excitedly, around a mouthful of pastry.

Deacon winked at her. "Didn't anyone tell you not to talk with your mouth full?" Maddie gave him a teasing look and he laughed. "I thought you might like to look around. Maybe for your next guitar." Maddie nodded, her eyes dancing happily. Deacon felt better now. He thought about how anxious he'd been when he'd first started spending time with her after he'd found out she was his daughter. He'd felt silly about it because, of course, he'd known her her whole life. But their relationship was so different now and he felt more comfortable with her every time he was with her. "We'll go whenever you're ready," he said.

Maddie was beyond excited. She'd never been in a guitar store before and the thought of being able to look at hundreds of guitars and maybe get to hold one or two was thrilling. She, of course, loved the guitar that her mom had given her, the one that had belonged to her grandmother Wyatt, but she knew that soon enough she'd need something more sophisticated. She really wanted an electric guitar, but it would probably have to wait until she could earn the money herself. She was just happy that Deacon understood her love of music and her desire to pursue it.

* * *

Rayna sat at the kitchen counter, finishing her cup of coffee. She had sent Luke off to his farm, telling him she had some things to do in town today and would see him that night. The last couple of days had been a little unsettling and she felt that she needed some time to herself. She had finalized the press release with her team, but she was sitting on it for now. There didn't seem to be a compelling reason to do something with it, other than Maddie's nagging, and that didn't feel like enough of a reason. She had spent some time with Scarlett the night before at the studio finalizing her set list and going over recording details with Avery while they were out on the road with Juliette. She'd kept busy so that she didn't have to stop and think much about her personal situation, but something inside kept telling her she needed to deal with it. So she had decided that this crisp, sunny early April Saturday was the day to do that.

She got up and poured another cup of coffee and then wandered into the den and stood in front of the window, not really seeing anything outside. She felt anxious and apprehensive. She felt exposed here at the house, like someone could walk in and break the mood. She needed to get out. She set down the mug and went back to her bedroom. She found a warm suede jacket and wrapped a scarf around her neck. She picked up her purse and went out to her car. She headed for 440, then merged onto 40. As she passed downtown Nashville, she veered off to the left on highway 65 north. She knew Deacon wouldn't be at the cabin with Maddie because he'd told her he wouldn't take her there, so it was a safe place to go. Besides, since it was where everything had all began, it felt like the place she needed to be to sort through the complicated mess she found herself in now.

As she drove out of Nashville, she thought about the last time she'd driven this way. She had been with Tandy, who had gone with her to prevent her from "making any mistakes", as she'd put it. Rayna had just found out she was pregnant. She knew the baby was Deacon's. Coleman had called her to tell her Deacon had left rehab early and that he didn't know where Deacon had gone. She and Tandy had gone to the house, but there was no sign of him and the house was locked up tight. She had peered in the window, but there was no indication that he'd been there at all. The only other place she could think of was the cabin and Tandy had reluctantly driven her up there.

She had felt a huge sense of relief when they arrived and Deacon's truck was there. But as they had walked up on the porch, they could hear the sound of breaking glass. When she had caught sight of him through the window, she could see that he was drinking, straight from the bottle. Her heart sank. He'd been so angry at her, first for breaking up with him, then for sending him back to rehab, and then not seeing him before he left. He had told Coleman that it would be a waste of time for him to go and apparently he was going to prove himself right. Right then. She had wanted to tell him about the baby, hoping that would turn things around, but seeing him like that, and Tandy begging her not to subject herself and her baby to this mess, had convinced her, reluctantly, to leave.

She had cried all the way back to Nashville and cried every day until well after Maddie was born. She had married Teddy, she had watched her stomach swell as Deacon's baby grew inside her, she had given birth to her little girl who looked so much like her father. She had cried every day as she mourned what could have been, what should have been. She'd cried about the deal she'd made to protect her daughter, but in reality was meant to hide her away from her real father, for fear that he couldn't be who they needed him to be. And after she finally stopped crying, she had stoically gone on telling herself that _Teddy_ was Maddie's father and that she had made the right choice for her daughter. And she had watched Deacon finally get sober after five times in rehab and she'd wondered so often if she'd made a mistake. She had wondered that every day until the day Maddie had shown up on his doorstep and started all of this. She had stopped wondering when she had found him, finally, at The Bluebird, drunk, as she had feared, and had made the fateful decision to get in the truck with him. She had stopped wondering when she woke up in the hospital after over two weeks in a coma and realized that she could have died, because he had responded exactly the way she had always thought he would had she ever told him about their daughter.

She stopped thinking and concentrated on the road, on her driving. She was well out of Nashville now, past the far out suburbs, into the countryside, almost to where she would turn off to get to the cabin. In the days when she and Deacon used to come to here, this was the point at which she always felt like she could shut off the rest of the world. She would feel enveloped in a little cocoon of privacy and peace. It was exactly what she needed now.

She exited the highway. It had been nearly fifteen years since the last time she'd made this drive, but she remembered it as though she'd done it yesterday. She drove another thirty minutes until she got to the old dirt and gravel road that led to the cabin, out on the lake, secluded from civilization. She thought about when Deacon brought her here the very first time. She was twenty-one years old. He was twenty-four and six weeks out of his first stint in rehab. The time that was supposed to be the only time he went, because that was going to fix things. Of course, it didn't, but on that day everything was golden. He shouldn't have bought it, of course, because they always told you not to make big decisions right after rehab, but it was her dream house. The house she'd always told him she wanted. On the lake, lots of windows, a deep porch, and far away from Nashville and the music business. She'd been enchanted and so happy that day. The last time she'd been that happy here had been the last night she'd spent here.

* * *

Deacon told Maddie that he'd been friends with George Gruhn for a long time. "I've bought a lot of my guitars from George. He has the best vintage guitars in Nashville and probably most anywhere. When I was gonna sell my guitars, he's who I brought 'em to."

Maddie looked at him. "But you didn't sell them, right?"

"Well, some of them sold. You know, I didn't think I'd ever play again, but I did get talked out of selling them all."

"Someday I'd like to get an electric guitar."

Deacon frowned. "But you have that nice guitar that belonged to your grandmother."

Maddie shrugged. "Yeah, but someday I need an electric. Right?"

"You don't have to. Lots of performers still use acoustic guitars."

"Well, I want to have my own collection one day. Like you do." She smiled at him.

Deacon laughed. "A girl after my heart," he said with a wink.

When they got to the store, George came out of the back. "Deacon!" he called out.

"Hey, George," Deacon responded, reaching out to shake hands. He turned towards Maddie. "George, this is my…daughter, Maddie." He knew George was the soul of discretion. He also knew it would please Maddie.

George raised one eyebrow and nodded at a beaming Maddie. "Welcome to Gruhn's, young lady. Are you as much of guitar lover as your daddy?"

Maddie nodded. "I am. I just have an acoustic guitar now, but someday I want to have my own electric guitar."

George smiled. "Well, this is a good place to get one." He turned back to Deacon. "I have that Gibson in the back. Let me bring it out." He turned and left Deacon and Maddie in the showroom.

Maddie walked over to a Gibson ES-5 model and appreciatively ran her fingers over the strings. Deacon watched her and smiled to himself. She had picked out a nice one to look at. Too much for her right now, but he tucked it in the back of his mind for some time in the future. When George brought out the Gibson ES-175 that he'd asked for, he let Maddie try it out. She had such a look of awe and joy on her face as she played a few notes that he felt his heart nearly burst.

Then he felt something like a twist of a knife as he thought about all the time he'd missed doing this with her. She definitely shared his love of music and his skill on the guitar, although he thought she had greater potential than he had had. It made him angry again to think that she had just come into his life as his daughter. Maybe he'd known her all her life, but it wasn't the same. He didn't want her to see that frustration though. He wanted to make the best of the time they did have now and build on that.

On the road back home, Maddie quizzed Deacon about guitars and he gave her his recommendations and told stories about his collection. "So how many guitars do you have now?" she asked.

Deacon thought about that. "Fifteen or so, I guess." He gestured towards the one in the back of the truck. "That one would make sixteen then."

"How many did you sell?"

"At least that many. Most of the ones I have left, though, were my favorites."

"Do you play them all?"

Deacon smiled. "No, I don't. Some of them are just for show. I always liked to collect really quality vintage stuff, although those were the ones that went the fastest."

Maddie sighed. "Too bad."

"Yeah." He was quiet for a moment. "You know, someday I could give you some of what I have. You could kind of inherit them from me."

Maddie smiled broadly. "Really? That would be awesome!"

Deacon grinned. He was learning that when Maddie was really excited about something she always used the word 'awesome'. He was happy to hear her use it about his guitars. "I know that the guitar you have was originally your grandmother's." Maddie nodded. "I think there's a lot to be said for passing down treasured possessions. I remember that your mama would always try to play that guitar." He looked over at Maddie and winked. "With 'try' being the operative word." He laughed a bit. "She really wanted to be able to play and she was okay, but not very good. She practiced a lot though. Which was pretty painful for me, as I recall. But she still loved guitars. She had a good eye for them."

"Did she ever give you a guitar?"

Deacon nodded. "She did. More than one. A really nice Martin. And a Gibson." He sighed. "I still have those too. I hardly ever play them anymore, but I have them." He didn't want to tell Maddie how important those were to him. The Martin she had given him when he'd been sober five years. It was a very expensive guitar, nicer even than the one Juliette had tried to give him. She had been so proud of him for staying sober that long. He remembered that she had come to his meeting when he made the five years and he'd been surprised to see her there. It had caused a buzz among the other attendees because everyone knew who she was. She'd been pregnant with Daphne then, he recalled. Thinking about it now made him realize that he had seen her through her whole pregnancy with Daphne but had never once seen her pregnant with his own daughter. He felt a mix of sadness and anger.

Maddie thought about what he'd said, about the fact that he'd kept the guitars her mom had given him. Even though they weren't together, it seemed they were still unable to disconnect from each other completely. She picked at the hem of her sweater. "Do you ever think you and Mom might, you know, get together again someday?" she asked hesitantly.

Deacon frowned slightly. He thought for a moment and then shook his head. "I don't think so, Maddie. There's a lot that's gone on between us and I think we finally just hit a place that we just need to move on from. Plus I'm seeing Megan now and I really like her. We have a really good relationship and she's good for me." He glanced at Maddie and could see her shoulders hunch over as she sighed. "And your mom is seeing Luke Wheeler." That bugged him though, and he felt a sense of annoyance when he thought of that relationship. He and Rayna had known Luke for a long time, although their paths had rarely crossed either personally or professionally until now. Luke had always had a reputation as a ladies' man and as a womanizer and, when he'd gotten divorced, it had been very acrimonious, although neither one had given many details. Deacon had always suspected that there was something dark and ominous in that break-up, because he knew Luke's ex-wife to be a sweet, generous person. As soon as Luke had started romancing Rayna, Deacon had a bad feeling about it, but he also knew he had no business interfering. So he'd left it alone and avoided the two of them when they were together as much as he could. But he couldn't help but worry about Rayna.

Maddie looked at him, her eyes dark with irritation. "He bugs me," she said. "It always feels like he tries too hard. Daphne loves him," – she drew out the word 'loves' sarcastically – "but I don't get it." She shook her head. "At least Megan is nice."

Deacon smiled slightly. He was pretty sure his answer hadn't been exactly what she was looking for. Truth be told, he had hoped he and Rayna still would have a chance, after the accident. But she had shut him down pretty completely and, although they had had some nice moments now and again, it didn't appear as though that was doing to change. So he had resolved to move on and that's what he was working on now with Megan.

* * *

Rayna pulled up and parked the car, then slowly got out. Things hadn't changed much. She walked out to the dock and looked out over the lake. He had a canoe now that was tied to the dock. She turned and looked back at the house. It was closed up and it looked sad and lonely. She walked up the steps and down the porch to the French doors. They were locked of course, but she pressed her face against the window, shadowing her eyes with her hands, looking through the gauzy curtain. She felt a twinge in her stomach as she noticed nothing had changed. The furniture was the same. It was even arranged the same way. She sighed and then, putting her hands in her pockets, went over and sat on one of the chairs.

She pulled out her cell phone out of habit and noted, with a wry smile, that there still was no cell service up here. Hard to believe there were still places, even rural places, where you could truly turn off. Of course, Deacon had put in a landline years ago, back when he was in her band but no longer in her bed. He'd given her the number so that she could reach him if she'd ever needed him. She had never called him though. She knew he was hoping she'd get bored with Teddy, long for what they'd had, and she had, of course, but she'd never called. She still had the number.

She leaned back in the chair, closing her eyes, and stretching her legs out in front of her, crossing them at the ankles. The sun warmed her face in spite of the chilly temperature. This place still soothed her soul, in spite of the unhappy memories she had here.

That last night she'd come up here, when Deacon had asked her to marry him, was a warm early spring night. It was unusually warm for this area, but it had meant that they could leave the windows open and hear the nighttime noise in the background. Deacon had been incredibly sweet and romantic and she had been caught up in the pleasure she was feeling. But as high as she'd felt that night, she had hit rock bottom the next morning when she'd found him passed out in the living room, with no clue as to what had gone on the night before. The fact that he hadn't remembered asking her to marry him had hurt her to her core. She had been devastated.

She really wished she had a glass of wine. Or better yet, a bottle. But it wouldn't be a good idea to get maudlin up here and besides, she needed to have her wits about her to drive home. She opened her eyes and looked out over the lake, thinking about Maddie.

Since Maddie had found out about Deacon, her emotions had been all over the map. There were days when things seemed almost normal and other days when Maddie acted like Rayna was the devil. She understood that things were confusing for her, even though Maddie argued to the contrary. She did, finally, seem to be settling in to the reality of her situation, which Rayna was grateful for. When she thought back on the decisions that were made after she'd found herself pregnant, she wished Maddie really understood how good a decision it had been for Teddy Conrad to be her father. Even though the marriage hadn't been what Rayna had always dreamed of, she knew, without a doubt, that Teddy had been a great father to Maddie. He had loved her from the moment she was born and never treated her as anything but his own flesh and blood. She hoped when all of this had worked itself out that Maddie would appreciate that.

But Maddie couldn't understand why she had never told Deacon the truth. She didn't think she could tell her daughter the whole truth, about how out of control Deacon was back then, how afraid she'd been that he wouldn't survive. She had felt so worn down by the time she'd broken up with Deacon and being with Teddy had felt so drama-free and…normal. She had been happy with normal for a while, happy not to be caught up in the maelstrom of an alcoholic's life. Still, when she'd realized she was pregnant, her immediate inclination was to tell Deacon and see if they could make it work. She was hopeful that finding out he was going to be a father would turn things around. But when she and Tandy had gotten to the cabin and found him in his typical destructive state, her fears took over. She allowed Tandy to lead her away. She allowed Teddy and Tandy to convince her that telling Deacon she was pregnant was a fools' game, that he would not only destroy her but their child as well. She allowed herself to believe that Teddy really was Maddie's father and that letting Deacon be a part of her life as "Uncle Deacon" was enough. She allowed herself to believe that there was never a time when she could have told Deacon the truth.

_But you were wrong._

The words thundered around in her head, nearly taking her breath away with their fierceness. They forced her up on her feet, then made her wrap her arms around her waist and bend forward. She gasped at the intensity of her feelings. She stumbled to one of the porch columns and grabbed on as if for dear life. She pressed her face against the column and found herself breathing heavily.

_This was your choice, Rayna Jaymes. No matter who suggested it or encouraged it, you made the decision. To lie to Deacon, to lie to yourself, to lie to everyone, but most especially to your daughter. You may feel justified in what you did, but there was no crystal ball to tell you what the future would hold. You made the choice. You can't blame that on anyone else. _

She closed her eyes, still clinging to the column as though it were a life raft. She needed to own this, she knew that now. It didn't change where they were, she and Deacon, but she understood that she needed to accept what she'd done. She couldn't just blame it on Deacon, that he had forced her into that position, that place, where she felt her only option was to deny him his child. The choices had started long before that fateful night here and she couldn't sit back and be a victim anymore.

* * *

Deacon pulled up in front of his house. He and Maddie got out and he pulled the guitar out of the back. As they walked up the steps, he put his arm around Maddie's shoulders and then she slid her arm around his waist. She looked up at him and smiled. "This was a great day," she said. "Thanks for taking me to Gruhn's."

Deacon grinned back. "I'm betting you have a long wish list now," he said.

Maddie giggled. "Maybe." They went in the house and Deacon took his new purchase upstairs to the nook where he was keeping his guitars now, while Maddie went in the kitchen to get a water. She sat down at the counter and screwed off the top of the bottle, then thoughtfully took a sip. She was disappointed in her dad's response to her question about a future with her mom. She'd been so sure there was a spark there. It suddenly made her feel despondent. She could feel tears pricking at her eyes, but she didn't want to cry here.

She jumped up and ran over to the stairs. She nearly collided with Deacon as he came down. "Sorry," she mumbled and pushed past him.

"Maddie, are you okay?" he asked her, concern in his voice.

She could feel the tears pressing against her nose and her eyes were burning. "Just something in my eye," she murmured as she swept past him and up the stairs to her room. She closed the door and threw herself on her bed, lying face down, crying, trying not to make a sound. She hoped Deacon didn't come asking any questions. Her heart hurt right now and she needed some time to get over it.

When she woke up a couple hours later, her head hurt and her eyes were scratchy. She remembered dreaming about her parents, standing in front of each other, first looking happy, then looking sad. And she remembered begging with them to work it out, but they didn't seem to hear her. It made her want to cry again, but then she heard the creaking of a chair and when she rolled on her side and looked up, she saw her dad sitting forward in the chair with his elbows on his knees and his chin propped on his hands, his eyes sad and full of concern. She smiled weakly at him. "Hey."

"Hey," he said. "You okay?"

"I'm okay," she whispered. "Thanks for sitting with me."

* * *

Rayna walked down the gently slope to the dock. There was only a light breeze, so she stood for a few minutes, with her hands in her pockets, looking out over the lake. This was still such a peaceful, out of the way place. There were still no other houses close by, so she felt a little like the only person on earth. She shrugged up her shoulders and thought about Maddie again.

From the moment Maddie was born, almost everything about her reminded Rayna of Deacon. She had his coloring, although she had Lamar's brown eyes. She was thoughtful and careful, like Deacon. It had always surprised her to see Maddie hunch her shoulders forward the way Deacon did, when she was confused or hurt. She wore her emotions on her sleeve and she would have that same sad, puppy dog look in her eyes when she felt hurt, just like Deacon. She surely had his talent. It had taken her a long time before she stopped panicking every time Maddie and Deacon were together, wondering if Deacon saw all those similarities. As time passed and he never raised the issue, Rayna had felt less anxious.

When she and Deacon had gotten back together after she'd separated from Teddy, Rayna had felt that old fear raise its head, especially when Deacon talked about what could have been for them all those years. Teddy had warned her of the consequences of getting back into a relationship with Deacon, and she had considered that, but she'd waited too long for him and it felt so good to be with him again. And she had lived with the deception for so long that it truly felt like Maddie was Teddy's daughter.

She should have realized how fragile Maddie was then. The separation had hit Maddie hard. She went back and forth on who she blamed for the upheaval in her life. When Maddie had overheard Teddy and Peggy, Rayna thought she'd done the right thing by slowly easing Deacon into their lives in a different way. But she had misjudged Maddie's angst and she had clearly misjudged her resourcefulness.

When Deacon confronted her at the CMA's with Maddie's discovery, she'd been blindsided. She knew she'd handled things with Deacon badly and it wasn't much better when she got home to face Maddie. She had destroyed two of the most important people in her life and they were all still healing from that.

She had to admit that, after the accident, Deacon seemed to right his ship. He seemed to be back on his program. He was navigating the landscape of developing a relationship with Maddie. He seemed to have a solid relationship with Megan. He was reinventing himself as a solo artist. She couldn't help but feel glad he'd gotten his life back under control.

But Maddie was still figuring things out. Her relationships with both Rayna and Teddy consisted of wild emotional swings, complicated by the normal teenage drama and angst. The only person she seemed to connect with these days was Deacon. On one hand, Rayna was glad they were doing this, but on the other, she still worried that Deacon would disappoint their daughter.

That, more than anything, kept Rayna on the sidelines. It kept her from letting go enough to let Deacon in. This wasn't the first time he'd found peace with his alcoholism, only to lose his way. But the stakes were oh so much higher this time. If he crashed again, he would take their daughter with him.

She knew she'd promised Maddie she would let this become public knowledge, so that Maddie and Deacon didn't have to hide anymore. But it still felt too new, too tenuous, and she couldn't put her daughter in that place. She wasn't ready to open that door just yet. She knew Maddie would be angry, but she'd just have to help her understand that they all needed more time.

Rayna squared her shoulders. She breathed in the crisp air, closing her eyes as she savored it. She turned back and faced the cabin. She smiled to herself at how they always referred to it as 'the cabin', when it truly was more of a lake house than what she considered a cabin. It had been a sanctuary for so many years and coming back here now made her realize how she'd missed it. This had been the right place to come and reflect, but it was getting late, and now it was time to go back to the real world. She walked back up to the porch and picked up her purse. She looked in the windows one last time, this time seeing the ghosts of who she and Deacon used to be, sprawled all over each other on the couch in front of the now-cold fireplace. She felt tears prick her eyes, but she took a deep breath and shook them off, and walked back down the porch towards her car.


	14. Chapter 14

Deacon watched Maddie run up the stairs. He was pretty sure it wasn't something in her eye, especially when she shut her bedroom door. His heart hurt for her; he was sure what he'd said when she asked about whether there was a chance for him and Rayna had upset her. Although everything he said to her was true, he knew in his heart that door was never completely closed. For him, anyway. But he didn't want to get her hopes up, especially since it didn't seem that Rayna was interested. He decided to leave her be for now.

About forty-five minutes later, when he hadn't heard a peep out of her, he walked upstairs. He knocked softly on the door and, when there was no response, he opened the door and looked in. He could tell she was asleep. She was lying across the bed on her stomach, her face turned towards the door. Her left hand clutched the stuffed bear he'd bought for her, close to her chin. He felt a lump in his throat as he teared up.

He walked over and sat in the chair near the bed, just watching her. He wondered how many times Rayna had done this and felt his anger rise up like bile in his throat. He'd never had the opportunity to comfort her, as her daddy, or just watch her sleep.

When she finally woke up, she looked a little disoriented. She rolled onto her side and looked up at him. "Hey," she said groggily.

"Hey." He took a deep breath. "You okay?"

She nodded and smiled a little. "I'm okay," she whispered. "Thanks for sitting with me."

He ran his hand over his mouth. "I didn't mean to upset you before," he said.

"You didn't, really. I guess I just, I don't know, was hoping for…something," she answered and looked away.

Deacon moved to the bed and pulled her up into a hug. "I think it's normal to hope for things," he said. He felt her relax into his side. "Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head against his chest. "No," she answered, her voice small.

He hugged her a little tighter. "You know, you can talk to me about anything, Maddie. Whenever you want to."

"Thanks, Dad," she said. She sat up and then looked down at her hand, still holding the bear. She smiled and looked back at him. "Looks like it was a good thing you got this for me."

Deacon smiled. "I guess so." He cleared his throat. "Are you still up for going out tonight?"

Maddie nodded. "Yeah. I'm excited about it."

Deacon stood and put his hands in his pockets. "We'll leave in about thirty minutes. It takes about an hour to get there from here."

"I'll be ready," Maddie said. She watched him leave her room. It had felt good to wake up and see him there. She thought of all the times her mom would be sitting with her when she woke up from a rough night or would be there when she was sad. Even her other dad had gotten to do that. But it was different now that it was Deacon. She felt safe. And loved, in a way that she'd never realized she was missing. The look on his face, even more than his words, told her how much he'd hated hurting her. But he wasn't the one who'd hurt her. Her mom had done that, and her other dad. Deacon had just waited until she was ready and then accepted her as she was. The way she accepted him.

* * *

Maddie was excited to be headed down to Columbia. Scarlett was in the back seat after insisting that Maddie sit up front. As they headed down 65 away from Nashville, Scarlett started singing and Deacon joined in. Maddie smiled as she listened to the two of them and wondered if this was what it might be like to be out on the road.

Deacon looked over at her. "I'm sorry, Maddie. We're probably singing stuff you don't know," he said.

She shook her head, still smiling. "It's okay. I love listening to the two of you." She looked back at Scarlett. "Did you sing together when you were growing up?" she asked.

A shadow briefly crossed over Scarlett's face but was quickly replaced with a smile. "We didn't see Deacon much when I was growing up. He was always out on the road. With your mama. But he'd stop by now and again and he always had a guitar and a few new songs to share."

Maddie looked over at Deacon. "I bet it was so exciting back in those days. Just singing and having fun."

Deacon nodded. "We played at a lot of places like where we're going tonight. Small venues where people really just like listening to good music."

"You know, you're really good, Maddie," Scarlett said. "I know one day you're gonna go out and make a name for yourself." She giggled. "Maybe you'll open for me one day, like I'm opening for Juliette."

"That would be so cool," Maddie said with a big smile. Then she rolled her eyes. "But I'll have to wait _forever_ to do that." She looked at Deacon pointedly. "School."

"Aw, it's not so bad waiting until you finish school. There's a lot to learn and it always helps to have something to fall back on." Scarlett smiled. "I went to college. It sure was a lot of fun."

Maddie turned in her seat. "Where did you go?"

"Southern Mississippi. They have a really good music program there. I wanted to go to Belmont, but it was too expensive, but Southern Miss has a great reputation." She winked at Maddie. "Plus it's a fun school. Lots of things to do. And not too far from the beach."

Maddie sighed. "But I'm ready to get started on my career now," she said.

Scarlett shook her head. "Don't rush it, baby." She had a wistful look on her face. "This business is so much harder than you know. Most people spend a long time working at it. I was lucky because Mr. Watty White saw me and Gunnar right away, and then your mama signed me to her label, but it's still not easy doing this." She looked out of the side window. "It's a hard life," she said quietly.

Maddie frowned. "Are you sorry you're doing this?"

Scarlett shrugged. "It all happened kind of fast for me. And I like being quiet, not having to be 'on' all the time. I'd truly be happy playing at The Bluebird on Sunday nights for the rest of my life. I really like the writing part and I love to sing, but it's not easy doing this night after night."

Maddie turned to look at Deacon. "Was it hard for you?"

"Well, I've never been the one out in front, Maddie. Not in a big arena or stadium. I was always in the band, so it's not the same. And singing at these smaller places is easier. Still is."

* * *

Once they were seated and placed their orders, Maddie looked around curiously. "Did you play here, Dad?" she asked.

Deacon shook his head. "Not at this location. This is pretty new. But I did play at the Puckett's in Leipers Fork, which is the original. Not long after I came to Nashville, actually."

"Does it feel like such a long time ago?"

Deacon shrugged. "Sometimes. But I had a lot of fun back in those days. I miss that sometimes."

Scarlett leaned in and bumped Maddie's shoulder. "I think that's why he still plays The Bluebird. He can't let it go." She smiled. "I know you've seen your mama up on stage in those glittery outfits, playing in front of thousands of people. But this, right here, this is the real thing."

Maddie looked at her thoughtfully. "But you're going out to Seattle tomorrow and you're going to be playing all these big arenas with Juliette. Isn't that what you dreamed of?"

Scarlett shook her head. "Actually no. I didn't come here to do this at all. I came to support Avery. All I did was write poems. It didn't really occur to me to even put them to music until Gunnar encouraged me." She sighed. "I always liked to sing, but I never planned for this to be my career. I probably would have been happy just writing for other people, but you never know where life will take you. Your mama heard me sing and thought I could do this." She smiled shyly. "I have to make her proud."

Maddie snagged a fried green bean and munched on it silently for a moment. Then she turned to look at Deacon. "I always thought I wanted to be like Mom, but I think I'd rather be like you," she said.

Deacon smiled broadly, touched that she would say that. "Well, thanks, Maddie. That means a lot to me." He reached for her hand and squeezed it, while she smiled at him.

Just then their food came, along with the band Buck Sixx, who was playing that night. As they watched the band, Deacon kept his eye on Maddie, watching her excitement. He felt emotional thinking about sharing what he loved with her. He hadn't expected to connect with her so quickly, to find these common bonds and touch points, but there they were. And he wanted to soak them up and enjoy them. He wasn't going to have enough time with her; they'd lost so much time already. But he was determined to make the most of the rest of their lives as father and daughter.

He felt proud of her, even though he hadn't had much to do with the young lady she was becoming. But she was so much like him; he could see that in her. He had been afraid of that, but it turned out that it made him feel more like her father to see the ways in which they were similar. He'd seen her grow up and had loved her, as a good family friend would. But now he loved her as a father loved his child and he was grateful to have been given this chance. Rayna had done a wonderful job of raising her. And Teddy too, he had to admit. It pained him to acknowledge that, but he guessed he should be grateful that he had loved her in spite of the fact that she wasn't his daughter.

Deacon loved watching Maddie watch the band play. He could see the excitement in her eyes. She barely ate anything as she took it all in. It occurred to him that she had never really had this kind of experience before and it gave him a warm feeling inside to know that they were creating their own memories. At the end of the night, she had thanked him for bringing her, her face lit up with joy. She had hugged him and he hugged her back. It felt good.

* * *

The next day Rayna watched through the window for Deacon to drive up. When he did, she hurried out the back door. Maddie got out of the truck and looked surprised to see her mom approaching. "Hey, Mom," she said.

Rayna smiled. "Hey, sweet girl. How was your weekend?"

Maddie gave her a perplexed look. "It was good," she said slowly, wondering what her mom was doing out here.

Rayna gave her a little shrug and a wink. "I want to talk to Deacon for a few minutes."

Maddie frowned. That meant she wanted to talk about her. "I want to stay," she said.

"Maddie, I need to talk to Deacon alone," Rayna said. Deacon had gotten out of the truck and walked up to the two of them.

"I know it has something to do with me, so I want to hear it," Maddie said stubbornly.

Rayna reached for Maddie's arm, but she scowled and snatched it away. "Please, sweetheart, go inside."

Maddie looked pleadingly at Deacon, but he shook his head. "Go ahead inside, Maddie. It's okay," he said. Maddie scowled at the two of them, but finally turned and walked towards the house. Rayna crossed her arms and looked down, Deacon put his hands in his pockets and took a deep breath. "What's going on, Ray?" he asked.

She looked back at him, sadness in her eyes. She gave him a tiny smile. "I drove up to the cabin yesterday," she said.

He raised his eyebrows. "Why? I told you I wouldn't take her up there."

Rayna shook her head. "Not for that. For me. I needed to do some thinking and that seemed like the perfect place to do that." She smiled again. "It hasn't changed much at all. That surprised me."

Deacon shrugged. "You know me. I'm not much into redecorating."

She smiled at little more at that. "Well, not these days, right?" He gave her a ghost of a smile. "Anyway, I thought it would be a good place to get away. And I was right." She took a deep breath. "I remember when you first took me there. It was the most beautiful place I'd ever seen."

He nodded. "It was exactly the place you described as your dream house."

"It was. It is." She raised her eyebrows. "Everything still looked the same as I remembered. I looked in the windows."

"Like I said…."

"Yeah, I know." She looked away. "It brought back a lot of memories. A lot of good memories."

Deacon looked at her. She still took his breath away. Her hair was falling in soft waves down her shoulders and her back, the way he liked it best. She was wearing a flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows and a pair of well-worn jeans along with her cowboy boots. As stunning as she looked on stage, he always thought that she looked her best when she wasn't all glammed up. He cleared his throat. It wasn't a good idea to go down those roads these days. "So what happened up there?" he asked.

She looked back at him. "I did some thinking. About all of this. About you and Maddie." She sighed. "Deacon, I'm just not ready yet. I think we need more time."

Deacon scowled. "There's never going to be a perfect time, Rayna. Hell, we could be doing this little dance until Maddie's a grown up."

Rayna's eyes flashed with irritation. "I'm not saying we wait until Maddie's a grown up. But it can't hurt to give you both a little more time without the spotlight on you. This is still so new. With her spending more time with you and all that."

Deacon looked at her with annoyance. "This is about you thinking I'm going to fall off the wagon again," he said harshly.

Rayna shook her head. "No, that's not what I mean." Although she knew it was exactly what she meant and she couldn't look him in the eye. "I just want you to have more time to figure all of this out."

Deacon huffed and turned slightly away. Then he turned back. "I've waited for fourteen years, Rayna. Granted, for most of that time I didn't know I was waiting, but I'm done waiting. God help me, Rayna, if Maddie hadn't found out, we might never have known this at all. I'd still be thinking I was just her 'Uncle Deacon'."

"You don't know that." Rayna's voice cracked with emotion.

He smirked and shook his head. "Well, it's all water under the bridge now. What's done is done." He looked back at her. "So you drove all the way up to the cabin to decide you don't want to go public after all?"

"No, that's not what I said. I just think we should give it a little more time, to be sure that we are all solid. What could it hurt to wait a little longer?" Deacon just shook his head. Rayna looked down at her feet. "You know, I didn't just go up there to think about that." She breathed in and out slowly. "I made a mistake, Deacon. I was twenty-seven years old and scared and I didn't know what to do. I got bad advice and made a bad decision, but I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know," Deacon said quietly.

Rayna gazed at him, a sad look crossing her face. "I wanted to marry you back then. I wanted us to be Maddie's parents, to raise her up together. But you couldn't do that for us. And I was so young and I didn't know enough to make my own decisions. I let other people make them for me." She reached out and grasped his arm. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

He looked down at her, her eyes filled with pain and sorrow. The feel of her hand on his arm was like an electric charge. His heart was breaking over what might have been. "I know," he said again. Tears glistened in his eyes. She finally dropped her hand and he inhaled deeply. "I need to go," he said. "We can wait. A little while. But you know it's going to disappoint Maddie."

She nodded. "I know. I'll have to work it out with her."

He stepped back. "I'll see you later." He turned and walked back to his truck. When he got in, he looked at her still standing there, her face a mask of sadness as she looked at him, as though she were willing him to understand. He reluctantly tore his eyes away from hers and backed out of the driveway.

Rayna watched him go, her heart in her throat. She had never thought she'd feel this distant from Deacon. It occurred to her that as scared as she had been fifteen years ago, she was even more scared now. What she wasn't completely clear on was whether she was scared of what could happen or scared to break down the walls she'd built to see what was still possible.

* * *

Maddie stood at her bedroom window, looking out over the driveway. She had watched her parents talking and knew it hadn't gone well. Her dad had looked stiff and uncomfortable and, at times, angry. Her mom had looked sad and beaten down. She felt tears well up in her eyes. This was not what she wanted. Her stomach hurt from the pain of watching the two of them turn away from each other. As her dad backed out of the driveway and her mom seemed to have the weight of the world on her shoulders, Maddie stepped back from the window and went and laid down on her bed, curling up on her side, tears streaming down her face.

* * *

Deacon got back to the house and picked up a guitar and carried it outside to the backyard. The conversation with Rayna had been unsettling and disappointing. He'd been surprised to find out she'd gone up to the cabin. Although considering how long it had been since she'd been there, it still felt like she was part of it. When she'd told him she'd wanted to marry him all those years ago, to raise Maddie with him, it had felt like a knife to his heart. He wished things had been different then. That he hadn't been so messed up that she had felt forced to make the choices she'd made. He understood her desire to lay low a little longer, to give them all a chance to settle into this new normal, but he also knew Maddie would be disappointed. Hell, _he_ was disappointed. It still felt like Rayna was trying to keep it all under wraps. As though that part had never changed.

He idly ran his fingers over the strings of the guitar. He picked out various pieces of melodies. Then he found himself playing the chords for a song he'd written years ago.

_Nothing goes as planned/Everything will break/People say goodbye/In their own special way/All that you rely on/And all that you can fake/Will leave you in the morning/But find you in the day  
_  
_Oh, you're in my veins/And I cannot get you out/Oh, you're all I taste/At night inside of my mouth/Oh, you run away/'Cause I am not what you found/Oh, you're in my veins/And I cannot get you out_

He'd written this song for Rayna. About Rayna. She'd been married to Teddy then for about four or five years. He'd been back in her band for most of that time and they were finally settling in to a more comfortable friendship. But he had still missed her then. His body ached for her every night, he wanted to touch her. She was a very touchy-feely person and whenever she'd bump against him or nudge his shoulder, grab his arm or his hand, it was like an electrical charge running through him.

_Everything will change/Nothing stays the same/Nobody here's perfect/Oh, but everyone's to blame/Oh, all that you rely on/And all that you can save/Will leave you in the morning/And find you in the day  
_  
_Oh, you're in my veins/And I cannot get you out/Oh, you're all I taste/At night inside of my mouth/Oh, you run away/'Cause I am not what you found/Oh, you're in my veins/And I cannot get you out_

Those days had been tough. It had tried his commitment to sobriety more than once. He thought about Maddie in those days, how comfortable he'd felt with her when he hadn't wanted to. But those were also the days when he'd started feeling like Rayna belonged to him again, at least when they were rehearsing and writing songs and on stage.

_Everything is dark/It's more than you can take/But you catch a glimpse of sun light/Shining, shining down on your face/Your face/Oh your face  
_  
_Oh, you're in my veins/And I cannot get you out/Oh, you're all I taste/At night inside of my mouth/Oh, you run away/'Cause I am not what you found/Oh, you're in my veins/And I cannot get you out_

Yes, he'd been in a dark place back then, when Rayna found out she was pregnant. Especially before that last time in rehab. He understood why she'd finally had enough. But she had always been it for him and, deep down inside, he knew she still was. Even if she never let him back into her life, she was his heart. He wondered if it was hard for her to deny him or if it had been as easy as she'd tried to make it seem. She was good at hiding her feelings, although not usually from him, but this time she seemed to have really boxed him out.

He took a deep breath as he contemplated those words he'd written so long ago, thinking they were still true today. She was still in his veins and he couldn't get her out.

_Oh, you're in my veins/And I cannot get you out/Oh, you're all I taste/At night inside of my mouth/Oh, you run away/'Cause I am not what you found/Oh, you're in my veins/And I cannot get you out_

* * *

Megan quietly walked back in the house. When she had gotten there, Deacon wasn't inside and she'd seen him sitting on the patio. She had walked out the back door and stood there for a moment, listening to him sing. Although she'd lived in Nashville since college, she hadn't been the biggest country music fan. It was hard to escape it here, though, and she had developed an appreciation for it over the years. She enjoyed listening to Deacon. He had a rawness to his voice and his words that spoke of heartache and pain and love and hope, and he had touched her. As she had listened to the words, it slowly dawned on her that this was a song about Rayna. She'd never heard it before and didn't know if it was something he'd written long ago or if it was new, but the pain in his voice as he sang it told her that it meant something today.

She'd felt hurt when she realized that. Because she'd been his attorney after the accident, she'd known a bit about his complicated history with Rayna, and she had, of course, done her own research later when she'd started dating him. He'd told her a fair amount about his long-term relationship with Rayna, but not about the years they'd been apart. She knew about Maddie, of course, and she wondered at times about what had led to Rayna not telling him he'd had a daughter. She wondered from time to time what Deacon's feelings were about Rayna, but he'd been carefully circumspect about that. But listening to the pain in that song, she knew, without a doubt, that he still loved her. Maybe they would never be together again – Megan knew that Rayna was in what seemed like a pretty serious relationship with Luke Wheeler – but Deacon still loved her. She wondered what that would mean for them and their future together. It left her feeling unsettled.

She was slicing vegetables and getting fish ready for the oven when Deacon walked back in the house. "Hey, baby," he said, a little surprise in his voice. He came over and wrapped his arms around her waist and leaned in to nuzzle her neck. "I didn't know you were here yet."

She smiled and leaned back into him, still working on the food. "I just got here a few minutes ago. I saw you outside and thought you might be writing, so I left you alone. I thought I'd get dinner ready." She turned her head slightly so that she could look in his face. He looked peaceful, a smile on his lips. "How was the weekend? How is Maddie?"

"She's good. It was good." He let her go and turned to lean back against the counter next to her. "I took her guitar shopping and she and Scarlett and me went down to Puckett's in Columbia to listen to some music. We had some good time together. She's on spring break this week and Rayna's taking her and Daphne out to Seattle to see Scarlett and Juliette open Juliette's tour."

Megan looked up at him and smiled. "That'll be nice for her. You told me she and Juliette are close."

Deacon chuckled and shook his head. "Yeah, apparently so. I would never have thought Juliette could have a soft side, but it seems that she does. At least where Maddie is concerned."

"So, are you hungry?" Megan asked, as she finished up the vegetables and put them in a roasting pan.

Deacon leaned in and kissed her. "Not really," he whispered. "Not right now."

She looked at him shyly. "I can put it away for now."

He smiled. "Why don't you do that?" He watched her put the dishes in the fridge and then he grabbed her hand, pulling her back to the bedroom.

* * *

After Deacon drove away, Rayna slowly walked back in the house. These conversations with him were so hard, so filled with emotions and memories and hurt. When she looked at him these days, actually when she'd looked at him for most of the last fourteen years, she'd seen the man she'd always wanted to see. Deacon sober was sexy and intriguing and made her laugh and enjoy life. Being intimate with a sober Deacon for the short time they were together before the accident had been all she'd ever dreamed it could be. But when he'd found out Maddie was his daughter, instead of going to her and telling her he loved her and was proud to be her father, he went and got drunk. That was always her biggest fear. But was she being fair? He'd found out the worst possible way; she should have been the one to tell him, to have been there to help him through the hurt and anger and betrayal. But she wasn't, so maybe it wasn't surprising that he'd turned to the only place he knew to bury all those feelings, the bottom of a bottle. It didn't make it right, but maybe it wasn't the sign she'd wanted to make it be.

When she walked into the kitchen, Daphne was standing there, looking cross. "Where have you been?" she asked, frowning.

Rayna raised her eyebrows and took in a breath, her eyes twinkling. "I don't think I have to tell you everything I'm doing, young lady," she teased.

Daphne crossed her arms, still looking stern. "But I _need_ you. I'm trying to pack and I'm not sure what to bring."

Rayna gave her a saucy smile. "Well, I'm here now, so why don't I come help you figure it out?"

"Um, yeah," Daphne responded, using a tone she'd heard her older sister use when she was annoyed. Rayna tried not to smile. "Let's go!" She grabbed her mom's hand and dragged her over to the stairs and up to her room.

* * *

When Rayna had finished helping Daphne, she walked down to Maddie's room. Her door was closed and Rayna knocked softly. When there was no answer, she walked in to find Maddie asleep on her bed. She walked over and leaned down, putting her hand on Maddie's shoulder. "Maddie," she said softly. "Maddie," she repeated. Maddie's eyes slowly opened. Rayna smiled. "Hey, sweet girl. Can we talk?"

Maddie nodded and sat up, moving over a bit so that her mom could sit next to her on the bed. She watched Rayna cross her legs at the ankles and felt her slide her arm around her to pull her close. "Were you and Deacon talking about me?" she asked quietly.

Rayna took a deep breath. "Sort of." She pulled Maddie a little closer. "I've been doing some thinking about you. And Deacon. And what's next." She reached over and smoothed Maddie's hair off her face. "I know you're anxious to tell the world that Deacon is your father, but I'd really like for all of us to give it just a little more time." She could feel Maddie tense up. "I know that's not what you want to hear, but I just want to give you two a little more time, privately, to work on your relationship, before the whole world has to know."

Maddie huffed. "I knew it."

Rayna shook her head. "Listen to me, Maddie. I'm not saying never. I'm just saying wait a little longer. This is a special time for you and Deacon, getting to know each other and spending time together. I want you to have the opportunity to do it more privately for a little while longer."

"But I don't want to wait," Maddie whined.

"Why is it so important for you to do this? Why right this very minute?"

Maddie thought about that. "I guess I just don't want to pretend."

"Pretend to who? You're not pretending with me, or your dad, or Deacon, or Daphne. Or Aunt Tandy." She sighed. "People can be so hurtful. People that don't even know you. And they can make things seem ugly when they're not. I don't want that for you."

Maddie sighed. "But it's hard not to say things or have to try to remember when to call him my dad and when not to."

Rayna nodded. "I guess that's true." She hugged Maddie closer. "I always tried to make sure that you had a relationship with Deacon when you were growing up. I guess that was my way of making sure that he was in your life. And I get that it wasn't enough, especially now that you know he's your father. You know he always loved you, Maddie, even without knowing you were his daughter. And now that he does know, and you know, I want y'all to be able to create a different relationship without everyone in the world watching you do it. Can you understand that?"

Maddie shrugged. "I guess."

"I'm not trying to hide it. And I'm not doing this because it will make me look bad. I'm doing it so that the two of you can develop the best relationship you can. And the strongest one. Because I love you and I want you to be happy and I don't want you to be hurt. By any of this."

Maddie looked up at her mom and gave her a small smile. "I get it."

Rayna leaned down and kissed her daughter on the forehead. "I love you, sweet girl. I just want the best for you."

"I know."

Rayna got a teasing look in her eye and smiled at her daughter. "So, I just finished helping Daphne pick out her wardrobe for the trip. Can I help you too?"

Maddie smiled back. "As long as you don't make me wear something too little girly."

Rayna pretended to look shocked and hurt. "Me? I would never do that."

Maddie laughed and rolled off the bed. Rayna followed her into her closet and they picked through her clothes, laughing together as they decided on just the right outfit for her to wear to the concert.

_**A/N: I took a little poetic license with the original Puckett's in terms of when it first opened. It would have been a perfect early place for Deacon to play, so I made it a little older.**_

_**The song Deacon sings in his backyard is "In My Veins" by Andrew Belle. Interestingly, he features Erin McCarley on the song, who played Rayna's lady guitar player in season 1. He's not a country artist, but he did apparently spend some time in Nashville, and I could see this song being "countrified". Plus the words were perfect.**_


	15. Chapter 15

Tandy pulled up to the FBO at Nashville International Airport where Juliette's plane was parked and ready. She looked in her rear view mirror at the girls. "Y'all ready?" she asked with a smile.

"Yes!" Daphne cried.

"This is going to be so fun!" Maddie said with a smile.

Rayna turned to look back at them and smiled. "I brought snacks," she said. "Fruit!"

Maddie rolled her eyes. Daphne pouted. "Fruit," Daphne moaned. "Why? I want something yummy," she whined.

"Fruit _is_ yummy. Plus I don't want you eating a bunch of junk before we get to Seattle. We have lunch plans," Rayna protested. She smiled again. "And cards. I have cards. And dominoes! We can play games."

"Mom," Daphne whined, dragging out the word dramatically.

"You're so boring, Mom," Maddie said. "Good thing I brought my iPod with me." She turned to Daphne. "It's Juliette's plane, so I'm pretty sure she stocked it with stuff she knows we'll like."

"We're _not_ going to go rummaging through Juliette's stuff," Rayna warned.

Maddie rolled her eyes. "Mom. Chill out."

Tandy looked at her sister and smirked. "Yeah, Mom, chill out," she said under her breath.

Rayna shook her head and then opened the door. "Okay, girls, let's get our bags and go."

Daphne and Maddie scrambled out of the car and, after picking up their overnight bags, they hurried up the steps and onto Juliette's jet. "Wow, this is awesome!" Daphne cried. "This is so much better than a bus."

Rayna had just gotten to the top of the steps and heard Daphne's comment. "Hey, now, buses are fun too."

Maddie turned to her mom. "You flew on this plane when you were on tour with Juliette. Wasn't it better than a bus?"

Rayna scrunched up her face and shrugged. "It was faster. But I still like buses." They each found seats on the plane. Daphne sat at the back of the plane and was already looking out the window.

"How long is this flight?" Daphne asked, looking back at her mom.

"About five and a half hours, I think. A long time. But Seattle is two hours behind Nashville, so it'll still be early when we get there."

"Can we go to sound check?"

Rayna nodded and smiled. "Yes, we can go to sound check." Daphne smiled and turned back to look out the window.

Maddie curled up in a seat across the aisle from Rayna and pulled out her cell phone. She pulled up Deacon's number. It rang several times before he answered. "Hey, Maddie," he said, his voice sounding like he'd been asleep.

"Hey, Dad," she said, with a big smile on her face. "We're on Juliette's plane, getting ready to leave." Her voice was full of excitement.

He sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes with one hand, smiling to himself. "I know you're gonna have a great time."

"I wish we were staying longer, but I guess Mom has some business meetings back here." She looked at her mom and rolled her eyes.

"Well, the good part of that is that we can have a lesson this week."

"That's true." She paused. "I had a great time this weekend."

"Me too, Maddie."

"I guess I better hang up. We're getting ready to go."

"Have fun. Be safe."

"I will." She hesitated. "I love you," she said softly.

On his end, Deacon swallowed hard and felt tears prick his eyes. "I love you too, Maddie," he said softly.

Maddie hung up and turned to look out the window as the plane started to taxi. Rayna had been watching her during her conversation with Deacon and found herself fighting her own tears. As hard as it had been for all of them and as angry as they had both been at her, she was glad that she had made sure Deacon had been a part of Maddie's life as she was growing up. It did make things easier, but when she saw them interact or heard their conversations now, she couldn't help but wish she'd made different choices all those years ago. It was too late for regrets now, though, she decided, and tried pushing those thoughts away.

As the plane headed down the runway and pulled up into the sky, Rayna thought about what she'd said about liking buses better. And she did. She'd really never been in a position to own her own plane, like Juliette. She imagined that was the price of being just a country artist and not the crossover sensation that Juliette was, at least prior to her latest fall from grace. She had certainly flown across country but most of the time she and her band had covered the roads between tour stops on a bus. The buses had improved over time as well. The first bus she'd had was paid for by Watty White and was a basic model with bunks for her band members and a small private bedroom in the very back for her. She had appreciated that luxury, with a queen sized bed and her own bathroom. She had also appreciated the relative privacy it had given her and Deacon on the long nights spent driving from one gig to another. She smiled to herself as she recalled how they would cover each other's mouths with one hand to hold down the sounds of moaning. By the looks on the faces of her band though, they never fooled anyone.

Eventually when she became a headliner, she was able to upgrade to a fancier bus, with more amenities and comforts, and a larger suite for her. By the time she got to that point, she and Deacon had stopped trying to hide their relationship from the band and he was a full-time occupant of the headliner's suite. Of course, by then they rarely traveled overnight, but stayed in hotels, also upgraded as she became more successful. None of those things had stopped Deacon from drinking, though, and there were many nights she stayed up most of the night in some fancy hotel room anxiously pacing as she waited for him or tried calling around to find him. There were many nights when she didn't stay in the room at all because she was sitting in an emergency room waiting area or in a chair by a hospital bed or waiting to bail him out of the local jail.

She closed her eyes as she thought of how painful and difficult those days were. She didn't miss that at all. When she'd invited Deacon back on her tour after Maddie was born, everything was different. He, of course, didn't share her bus suite or her hotel suite. He was a model of sobriety then, turning in early, never causing trouble. She still felt responsible for him though and would check in with him periodically on how he was doing and how his program was going. If he ever got annoyed at her asking, he never indicated it. She knew now that it got under his skin because he'd finally told her, about ten years in. He'd been good-natured about it though and they were able to laugh about it then. She was always on high alert whenever there was something stressful in his life and she always tried to be supportive. So it bothered her now to realize that at the most difficult time of his life, at the CMA's, she'd let him walk away. _Would he have gotten drunk if I'd gone after him?_ It was a hard question, because she'd felt at the time that she needed to be with Maddie. And she knew that was the right choice, but she'd let things go too long with Deacon. She'd never really tried to find him. She'd called, but she'd never really searched him out. By the time she saw him at The Bluebird, it had been too late.

She sighed and turned her attention to contracts she'd brought with her to review. She looked up to see what her girls were doing. Daphne was still gazing out the window of the plane. Maddie was huddled over her iPod. She smiled, happy to be with them and happy that things seemed to be in a good place for her and Maddie, at least for now.

* * *

About halfway through the flight, Rayna put down her paperwork and rubbed her eyes. The flight had been smooth so far. They had all had some light snacks and she had even joined the girls in raiding Juliette's stash. She looked down the aisle and saw that Daphne had pushed back her seat and was sound asleep. She looked across the aisle and Maddie was scribbling in her notebook. "Hey, Maddie," she said softly. "What are you working on?"

Maddie looked up. "Just jotting down thoughts and ideas."

She beckoned to her. "Come sit with me for a minute."

"Okay." Maddie closed her notebook and laid it down, then got up and walked over to the bench seat that Rayna was in and sat down next to her, pulling her legs up underneath her.

Rayna put her arm around her daughter. "How are you doing right now?"

Maddie looked wary. "Okay," she said cautiously.

"Are things going okay with Deacon? With staying at his house?" Maddie had not really talked much about her time there and Rayna wasn't sure if that was good or bad.

Maddie gave her a small smile. "It's been really awesome, actually. He took me to a guitar store and we went to listen to a band play down in Columbia."

It made Rayna nervous to think about the two of them out together. She knew Deacon wasn't as recognizable around town and hoped that they wouldn't have seemed out of place. This was when she was glad that she and Teddy had kept the girls out of the public eye. She smiled at her daughter. "Well, that sounds like it would have been fun." She gave Maddie a playful look. "Did Deacon promise to buy you a guitar?"

Maddie grinned. "Not exactly. But he did say maybe I would inherit one of his." She took a deep breath. "He showed me the guitars you gave him."

Rayna raised her eyebrows. "He still has those?"

Maddie nodded. "I kind of got the feeling they were important to him." She looked at her mother carefully, but Rayna looked away uncomfortably.

That felt unsettling. She was quiet for a few minutes before she said, "Is there anything else you want to talk about?"

Maddie considered that. "I'm still not sure why we have to still keep all this stuff about me and Deacon a secret."

Rayna sighed. "I'm not saying we're keeping it a secret. But it's private. It's for you, not the whole world to weigh in on. At least for a little while longer."

"But I _want_ the world to know."

"It's no one else's business, Maddie, that's the point. Once you put it out there, people will talk. People can be cruel and heartless. I don't want that for you. I don't want you to have to deal with that."

Maddie turned away for a moment. When she looked back, she was frowning. "Are you afraid of what people will say about _you_? That you had an illegitimate daughter?"

Rayna gasped and her eyes widened. "Don't you ever say that. Don't you even think it," she said, her voice cracking with emotion. "That is absolutely not true. Your father and Deacon and I love you. You were wanted, Maddie. Loved and wanted. We all want to protect you. I don't want you to ever think anything else." Her eyes filled with tears.

Maddie instantly knew she'd gone too far. Seeing the hurt on her mom's face and the tears in her eyes as she tried to stay quiet and not wake up Daphne felt like a pit in her stomach. Her own eyes started to tear and she reached for her mom's hand. "I'm sorry. I know it's not true."

Rayna put her arms around her daughter. She had thought they'd worked through this and she'd been thrown to find out that Maddie still harbored resentment. It was still going to be a long road, for all of them. She pulled back and took Maddie's chin in her hand, looking at her closely. "Maddie, this is what I want to protect you from. Don't you understand?" Maddie nodded sorrowfully. She leaned against Rayna's shoulder and Rayna put her arm around her shoulder, just holding her close.

After a few minutes, Maddie asked, her voice small, "Mom, do you ever think that you and Deacon could, you know, work things out together?"

Rayna breathed in. Maddie had asked so many questions, but she hadn't realized how much her daughter was hoping for some kind of family again. She had given Deacon another chance so many times and every time he'd disappointed her. When she was in the hospital, recovering, after she woke from the coma, she had thought of all the things that had brought them to that place where she'd almost died. She had promised herself then that she wouldn't let herself go down that road again. That she couldn't do it to herself or her girls. It wasn't always easy, because she'd seen changes in Deacon since that night. He had stepped up with Maddie and she was cautiously optimistic about the future for them. He'd taken greater control of his own life and it seemed as though he was really moving on without her, for the first time. She was trying not to take responsibility for him anymore, not to feel it was her duty to check on him. She had spent a lot of time consciously imagining her life without Deacon, at least not in the ways he'd been in her life before, and it had gotten easier every day, as long as she kept her distance and didn't get too personally involved. She hated to disappoint Maddie yet again, but she didn't want her to have any false illusions about the future. "Maddie, I just think there's too much water under that bridge now. We loved each other a lot once but I think it was all just too much. And we've hurt each other and caused each other so much grief that I just don't think we could risk it again." She reached for Maddie's hand. "I'm sorry, sweet girl."

Maddie sighed heavily. "Me too," she said sadly. She sat with her mom for a little while longer, then moved back across the aisle. She looked out the window, feeling unbelievably sad. She thought about that day, so many months ago now, when she'd overheard her mom telling Deacon she loved him. When she'd confronted her mom with that, Rayna had told her they were seeing each other again. It had made her angry. She felt like her life was being ripped apart and she'd had no control over it. She regretted now that she had snooped into her mother's things. She had no idea what she thought she'd find, she just wanted to hurt her mom somehow for betraying their family the same way her dad had. She hadn't counted on being the one who got hurt instead. And now, everything was wrong. Everything was messed up. Even though she was happy to know that Deacon was her dad, finding that out had blown everything up. If she'd never done that, maybe they would have stayed together. But now, because of what she'd done, they never would. She felt tears streak down her face, but she didn't even try to swipe them away.

Rayna watched Maddie from where she sat. She wished she knew a way to comfort her. She was pretty sure Maddie blamed herself for finding the paternity test and starting this whole series of events. She wished there was a way she could reassure her daughter that it wasn't her fault. Even if that had never happened, she knew that if she'd continued her relationship with Deacon, she would have had to tell him the truth, and there was no guarantee it would have ended differently. Rayna knew that if she'd just been honest in the beginning, it would have saved them all the heartache they were going through today. As she watched her daughter, she saw her breathing eventually become even, and she knew Maddie had fallen asleep. Her eyes filled with tears and she felt sick as she thought about how her actions had brought them here. She wished she could change it all; she only hoped she could navigate the future with minimal damage.

She looked out her own window and thought about the possibility she and Deacon could bridge the past. But she just didn't think she could go back to that. She didn't think she had the strength to do it again. And she didn't want to test whether he could truly do it this time. Finally. With everything out in the open. She didn't think she could put her heart on the line again like that.

* * *

When the co-pilot came back and told Rayna they were getting ready to land, Rayna woke both Maddie and Daphne so they could get buckled in. "What's the plan today, Mom?" Maddie asked.

Rayna pulled out a sheet of paper. "Glenn's meeting us and we're going to go have lunch with Juliette and then check in to the hotel." She smiled. "I got us a big suite, so you girls will have your own room." She looked down at her schedule. "I want to spend some time with Scarlett and then it will be time for sound check."

"And then the show!" Daphne cried.

Rayna laughed. "And then the show," she agreed. Even though this was a short trip, she found herself looking forward to spending this time with her girls. She hoped that getting to be at the opening night for Juliette's mini-tour would lift Maddie's spirits. She smiled as she watched the girls' excited chatter about what they would wear and what Juliette might sing. She hoped nothing marred the good feelings.

* * *

Rayna stood in the living room of the hotel suite. "Girls, are you ready?" she called out. She put in her earrings as she waited. The bedroom door opened and Daphne burst out, dressed in a plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a denim skirt, with her red cowboy boots and her hair in braids. Rayna gasped and clapped her hands together. "Too cute!" she cried as Daphne held her arms out and did a slow pirouette. "You look perfect!" _She's a mini-me_, Rayna couldn't help but think as she smiled at her younger daughter.

Daphne did a little jig. "I can't wait to see Juliette's show! I've never seen her in concert."

"And Scarlett too," Rayna admonished. Daphne nodded vigorously. "Is your sister ready?"

Daphne flounced around and rolled her eyes. "You know Maddie. She's dressed, but she's having trouble with her hair. So she's all drama queen in there."

Rayna gave her a playful frown and walked in the girls' room. Maddie was standing at the vanity almost in tears, struggling with her hair. "Maddie?" she started.

Maddie slapped her hands on the counter and looked heartbroken. "Mom," she whined. "I can't get the braid to work."

"What do you want to do?" Rayna asked.

"I want that braid from my part to my ear. Like the way you wear your hair sometimes. And I can't get it to work." She looked at her mom in the mirror with sad, tear filled eyes.

Rayna felt touched that she wanted to wear her hair like hers. She gestured over to a chair. "Come here and sit," she said. "I'll help you. Bring a brush and comb." Maddie came over and sat down, looking despondent. Rayna took the brush and comb and began working on her daughter's hair. When she finished, she took her hand and led her over to the mirror. "There. Does that look like what you wanted?"

Maddie turned her head and then smiled. "Yes, that's it. Thanks, Mom."

Rayna looked at her in the mirror and put her arms around her daughter, leaning her head against hers. Maddie was nearly as tall as she was now and she was really turning into a lovely young girl. Rayna was so proud of her, in spite of her teenage angst. "You look so pretty, Maddie," she said softly. She was wearing a soft, flowing white tunic top over a pair of dusty brown jeans and her favorite boots. It was hard to believe she was almost the age Rayna had been when she'd started singing around Nashville. She didn't really want Maddie to start as young as she had, but she also thought Maddie had a lot more talent than she had at that age. It made her nervous. But tonight, she just wanted to enjoy being with her girls and watching her two artists on the first night of their tour.

Maddie reached her hands up and grabbed her mom's arms, leaning back into her. "Thanks," she said with a smile. "And thanks for bringing us out here."

Rayna smiled back and hugged her. "I'm glad we're here." She let go of her daughter and stepped back. "And now we need to get going," she announced and walked back out to the living room.

* * *

Rayna and the girls got to Key Arena shortly before Juliette's sound check. Her band was already on stage and Juliette was off to the side, talking to Glenn.

"Juliette!" Daphne squealed, breaking away from her mom and sister. She ran over to throw herself into Juliette's arms. Juliette laughed as she hugged Daphne. Maddie hurried over as well, leaning in to give Juliette her own hug.

"Hey, girls," Juliette said with a smile. "I'm so glad y'all are here." She watched as Rayna walked over, giving her a cool smile. "Thank you, Rayna, for bringing them," she said, with a slightly deferential nod.

Rayna gave her a performance smile. "Well, I wanted to give you and Scarlett a proper Highway 65 send-off and the girls were on spring break, so it was a nice treat for them. Oh, and thank you for the loan of your plane. The girls loved it."

Juliette gave Rayna her own performance smile. "My pleasure," she said smoothly. "It's the only way to travel." She looked at Maddie and Daphne. "Right, girls?"

"Yes!" they shouted out in unison.

Juliette turned to walk out on the stage, then looked back. "How would y'all like to do sound check with me?" she asked the girls.

"Yes!" Daphne cried, then turned to Rayna. "Can we, Mom?"

Rayna shrugged. "Sure. Just don't get any ideas," she admonished with a wink. She watched Daphne race towards the microphone, Juliette and Maddie following with their arms around each other's waist.

Rayna frowned a little as she watched them. Having Juliette on her label was a wild card and having her influence Maddie worried her. Juliette had been there for Maddie right after the accident and had proven herself to be a solid support, but Rayna didn't fully trust her. Deacon had told her not to worry, but he and Juliette were fast friends and she wasn't sure he was objective about Juliette.

She watched Juliette get mics for both girls and then confer with them on what they would sing. They launched into the opener, an upbeat guitar riff that Rayna recognized as "Yellin' from the Rooftop", one of the songs Juliette had written when she was trying to change her image. She found herself smiling as she listened to Maddie and Daphne's sweet harmonies behind Juliette's vocals.

They were good singers, she acknowledged to herself, gifted actually. And Maddie, especially, was so talented on the guitar. She and Teddy had always agreed to keep the girls out of the public eye. They wanted them to have as normal a life as possible. She had not brought them on tour with her since they were very young and only brought them on special occasions now. She didn't want to give them so much of a taste for this kind of life that they didn't do the kinds of things that regular kids did. Her own life had been different, with her mom dying when she was so young. She'd never felt like she'd really had a "normal" childhood and she was determined to give that to her girls.

She'd always known she wanted children someday, but Deacon's struggle with alcohol had made her apprehensive about that. They had not really talked about having a family and she'd wondered if it would ever happen. The irony was that when she got pregnant the first time it was that one night with Deacon, something she had both wanted and feared. And it only happened because she was off birth control and, because that night had happened spontaneously, she'd gone to the cabin with him without her diaphragm.

She married Teddy and raised Maddie, and then Daphne, with him. Being a mama had been her dream and it still was the most important part of her life. Her girls meant the world to her, which was why keeping Maddie from being hurt by the paternity reveal was so important.

The song was over and Rayna noticed Juliette getting a guitar for Maddie. She frowned. Then Maddie and Daphne started to sing "Believing", the song Maddie had worked on with Deacon. She thought back to them sharing it with her and Daphne the afternoon they'd written it. She remembered how it had touched her, but more than that, she remembered it had stunned her to see how much like Deacon Maddie truly was. And it still made her wonder what could have been, if only she'd made different choices. She had wanted to raise their baby with Deacon, to create a life for the three of them and she felt, again, that same wellspring of regret she'd had that afternoon.

As the girls were singing, Juliette walked up to Rayna. "They're really good," she said. "They take after you."

Rayna looked at Juliette and sighed. Then she nodded. "I know," she said with a sad smile. "But I want to keep them out of this as long as I can."

Juliette nodded. "I understand. But I think you're gonna have a hard time with Maddie. Not only is she good but she really wants this."

Rayna shrugged. "I know she does. But don't encourage her. Please."

Juliette shook her head. "Don't worry. I won't. I respect your decision, even if I don't a hundred percent agree with you. But I think I told you before those girls are lucky to you for a mama."

Rayna caught the sadness in Juliette's eyes and thought about her complicated past with her mother. It was another reason she was determined to keep her girls close.

When the girls finished singing, Maddie looked down at her mom from the stage. "What did you think, Mom?" she asked.

Rayna smiled proudly. "Y'all were great! As always. I'm so proud of you both. I just hope when it's time for you to make your mark, you'll give me the first shot at signing you."

Maddie beamed. "I'll sign with you the day I graduate. From high school." She gave her mom a hopeful look and was grateful Rayna didn't say no. She winked and said, "I want my first album to be all duets, with you and Deacon."

Rayna just raised her eyebrows and gave her a tiny smile. She knew Juliette was watching, so she tried to deflect attention away from this topic. "Where's Scarlett?" she asked. "Isn't it her turn to do sound check?"

* * *

After the show was over, Rayna was exhausted. She'd been very happy with the performances of both Scarlett and Juliette and was glad to see press and radio staff at the show. Not as many as she would have liked, but it was a start. She and the girls had gone to the after party, even though what she really wanted to do was go back to the suite and go to bed. It had been a very long day, especially with the time change, but, as the head of Highway 65, she felt she had to glad hand the people who came and bolster her fledgling label. The only good news about there not being a large contingent of industry types was that the party didn't last as long as they often did.

Back at the hotel, the girls were so tired that Rayna didn't have to prod them to get into their pajamas and into bed. After she'd kissed them good night and tucked them in, she went out to the living room and sank down on the couch. She grabbed her purse and pulled out her phone. She had three messages. One was from Tandy, confirming the time they'd arrive back in Nashville. She hurriedly texted her back. The second was from Luke, just calling to say hey and whisper some dirty promises to her. Rayna blushed and felt strangely awkward as she listened. The third message was from Deacon, telling her he hoped everything had gone okay and that Maddie was okay. When he told her he was glad they were working through things together, she felt a lump in her throat.

She got up and walked over to the window, looking out over the city. It was a clear night in Seattle and she could see all the twinkling lights of the city below and beyond her. Even though she was bone weary, Deacon's message brought him front of mind. And, as was the case more and more lately, when that happened she found herself musing on the what ifs and the missed opportunities. If she were honest, the way he had rebounded from what happened after the CMA's gave her hope. The old demons had certainly taken him over then, as she supposed would always be the risk, but instead of completely giving in to them as he had before, he'd gotten back up and on track again. She knew a large part of that was the aftermath of the accident, the reality of how badly that could have ended up, for both of them. But he was staying on his program, he was rebuilding his life, he was being a positive influence on Maddie. He had a solid relationship.

Thinking about that part was unsettling. Even though it shouldn't have been. She'd told him they were done, once and for all. But when she had met Megan that first time, she'd felt like she'd been kicked in the gut. When he had taken that call from her after his performance at the music festival and turned away from her, she'd felt disappointed. When Megan had walked in as she and Deacon were finishing their songwriting session, she'd felt a little annoyed. And that, most of all, had surprised her. She had no claim to Deacon anymore, had basically told him that there would never be a Deacon and Rayna again. And yet here she was, thinking about him again.

What had Tandy said to her when she and Deacon had gotten back together? _With the two of you, it's always going to be all or nothing._ And she was right. The only way there would truly be no Deacon and Rayna, or no possibility of it, was if one of them left Nashville. That wasn't likely to happen. And with them now having to co-exist as Maddie's parents, it meant they would forever and always be in each other's lives. As much as she wanted to be able to say that she and Deacon were completely through, she knew that might not be the case. The real question was, how did she feel about that?

She didn't want to think about it though. She forced the thoughts from her head and went to bed. But she tossed and turned the rest of the night and when she did sleep, her dreams were of Deacon. In the morning, she couldn't remember for sure what were dreams and what were her thoughts as she struggled to go back to sleep. She felt faintly disloyal to Luke, but she also wondered how much of it was a result of being with Deacon more, as Maddie's parents. It wasn't easy to sever the bond between them, which had run strong and deep for nearly twenty-five years. Back when she was sixteen, her love and need for him had seemed irrevocable. Even when they were apart, in the intimate sense, it felt like that bond couldn't be broken. She had thought the events of that night at the corner of Battlefield Dr. and Granny White Pike had finally done what she'd thought could never be done and provided the knife that had once and for all finally severed what was between them. But in the dark of night in a Seattle hotel, she had begun to realize that she might never truly be done with Deacon Claybourne.

_All or nothing._ She wasn't quite sure she could do either.


	16. Chapter 16

Rayna and the girls rode with Juliette, Avery and Glenn to the airport the next morning. They were dropping Juliette off in Portland, then heading back to Nashville. Scarlett opted to take the tour bus with the rest of the band, but she got up in time to see them all off, giving Maddie a big hug and whispering to her to take care of Deacon. It was early and Juliette was trying not to be too cranky about it. If it hadn't been for Rayna, she'd have left much later.

She smiled at Maddie and Daphne as she walked up to the car taking them to the airport. "So, how was it, girls?" she asked.

Daphne was hopping back and forth from one foot to the other. "It was great! I can't wait to tell everyone I flew on Juliette Barnes' private jet! And that I saw her in concert from the stage. And that I got to do sound check! So awesome! They'll be _so_ jealous!" She was totally wired with excitement.

"It was totally awesome!" Maddie echoed. "Thank you so much!" She leaned in to hug Juliette.

Juliette smiled, cutting her eyes over at Rayna, who was looking slightly annoyed. "Well, you should thank your mama. She's the one who brought you. But I'm so glad you could come. It was definitely fun."

Maddie looked over at her mom then. "Thanks, Mom. This was really great," she said.

Rayna smiled at her daughter. "I'm glad it worked out. I just wish we could stay longer, but you know how it is." She looked over at Juliette. "Running a label sometimes gets in the way of having fun."

Juliette scrunched her nose and then smiled, although the smile never quite reached her eyes. She slid her hand through Avery's arm and headed for the car. "Well, let's get going, y'all," she said. "We need to hit the road."

* * *

After they made their brief stop in Portland, the plane headed east for Nashville. Maddie settled into her seat and put in her ear buds. She pulled up her Deacon playlist with everything he had recorded loaded in. She never got tired of listening to his music. She also had other songs that he had written for her mom or that they had written together. She turned for a moment and looked at her mom and Daphne huddled up together, their heads close together as they talked and read a book. She smiled to herself. This had been a great trip. The three of them hadn't done something like this in a while and she had forgotten how much she enjoyed girl time with her sister and her mom. Things had been so stressful lately. Maddie sighed, thinking that she had probably contributed to that.

As Deacon's voice ran softly through her ears, she thought about how much things had changed in her life over the last several months. But things hadn't changed just for her. It affected her mom and dad, Deacon, and Daphne. All her relationships were changing. Some of that felt uncomfortable and awkward, particularly the strain between her and her dad.

Teddy. She felt a little sad about how things were between them now. She knew she had pushed him away in her effort to get to know Deacon better. She knew that the arguments they had were because he didn't want to lose her. He'd been a good dad. He still was. She knew he loved her and, now that she knew he wasn't her biological dad, she was beginning to realize how lucky she was that he had consciously chosen to love her. He had always treated her as though she were his. She would never have known he wasn't her real dad by the way he talked to her, listened to her, comforted her, loved her. She felt bad that she'd been disrespectful to him. She didn't mean to be. She just wished he understood that she needed to find out more about where she came from and that it didn't mean that she loved him any less.

She thought about what her mom had said about not trying to create this whole relationship with Deacon in just a few days. To give it time and be patient. What had she said? _Who are you pretending to?_ It was true. The people who knew her best – her mom and dad, Deacon, Daphne, Aunt Tandy, Talia – they all knew the truth. She could be honest around them about Deacon. She didn't have to tell the whole world. At least not right away. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to let it happen naturally. Everything had been so hard at first, that it might be nice to take it slow.

She thought back to when she found the box with her mother's private things, back when her whole life turned upside down. Old contracts, letters from her grandmother, newspaper clippings. And then down at the bottom was this official looking envelope. When she had pulled out the piece of paper, she had been confused by the reference at the top to paternity test results. She had looked at it carefully and noted that the date on the report was a week after she was born. It had identified the mother as Rayna Wyatt Conrad and the 'alleged' father as Theodore Michael Conrad. Her name was also on the report – Madeline Virginia Conrad. There were lots of numbers, but there at the bottom in a brief paragraph, it had stated that the probability that Theodore Michael Conrad was the father of Madeline Virginia Conrad was 0%. That he was _not_ her biological father.

She remembered feeling sick to her stomach. Her head hurt. She'd taken everything into her room and called Talia, sobbing. Talia had tried to calm her down, but she didn't really know what to say. She remembered Talia asking her if she knew who her father might be if it wasn't Teddy. She hadn't really thought about that at first, but she knew that her mom had dated Deacon before she'd married her dad. It made her wonder.

Maddie had been so mad at her mother. She'd taken the box back to her mom's closet and put it back where she'd found it, although she kept the paternity test results. But her anger had consumed her and she had barely slept that night. The next morning, she couldn't look at her mom, as she'd fixed breakfast for her and Daphne and prepared their lunches. That was the day that Juliette's mom had died and it was all over the news, but Maddie didn't care. And then her mom had told them that she and Deacon were going to go to the CMA's that night, that they were seeing each other. But of course, Maddie already knew that. She hadn't known until that moment what she was going to do with the information she had, but that's when she decided that after school she would confront Deacon.

She hadn't been able to keep her mind on school all that day. All she could think about was the paternity test, in the envelope in her backpack. _Dad isn't my dad. Mom lied to me my whole life. Why did she do this? Why didn't my real dad want me?_ It had bothered her to think that Deacon was her dad and that he hadn't wanted her to be his daughter. Yet he'd always been so nice to her and told her stories and taught her guitar chords. And told her he loved her.

She had felt like she was in a daze when she asked Talia to help her call a cab. The cab driver had been a little reluctant to take her all by herself to Deacon's, but she assured him she knew who she was going to see. He had waited at the curb as she walked slowly up the steps and then waited for Deacon to answer the door. She heard him drive off as Deacon let her in.

_I think you might be my father._ She'd practiced that in her head all day. She'd thought about it as she breathed in deeply in the cab, willing the tears away that threatened to fall. She remembered the look on Deacon's face. Surprise. Confusion. Not what she'd expected.

Their conversation had been uncomfortable. She'd been angry at first, but he'd been so shocked that she realized he hadn't known. She had finally started to cry. He'd put his arm around her to comfort her, but she remembered that it had felt awkward. She hadn't felt comforted at all and he seemed afraid to even touch her.

He had told her he didn't see how he could be her father, that he and her mom had broken up a long time before she'd married Teddy. But she could tell he wasn't sure of that at all.

She hadn't been sure how to feel that day. She'd always loved her "Uncle" Deacon, but now it all felt wrong. Her whole life had been a lie and he was at the center of it. She didn't know how to feel.

He had told her he'd find out what was going on and he'd called a cab to send her home. Her mom was gone by the time she got there. The babysitter was there, but she had hardly noticed how distraught Maddie was. Maddie picked at her dinner, then went to her room.

Around 8:30 that night, there were suddenly loud voices and slamming doors. She heard footsteps quickly running up the stairs and right for her room. Her mom and dad came rushing in, looking frantic. She got up off her bed and started throwing things into a bag, along with her accusations. They had confirmed that Deacon was her father. Her _biological_ father, as her dad kept saying. All she knew was that she'd been lied to, that Deacon had been lied to, that her whole life was a lie, that she had been her mom's mistake that she'd covered up by marrying someone else.

It had been a tough few days. She'd finally stopped freezing out her mom, but she was still so confused. Deacon never tried to see her, which had hurt. She knew now that it was because he was drinking, something that then, and even now, was painful and embarrassing to think about. Her dad had tried to be the solid one then, but there were times she even got mad at him.

She'd had no idea what would happen to her. Her mom and Deacon were back together. Would they get married now? How would that all work? What about her dad? And Daphne?

Then came the night her dad had woken her and Daphne up with the news that their mom had been in a really bad accident, caused by Deacon. That, of course, had turned out not to be completely true, but it had made things even more confusing and hard. Her mom was in a coma, Deacon was in jail, and her dad was fluttering around trying to be the strong one.

She'd been relieved when her mom woke up, but it hadn't taken long for the bitterness to come back. She was angry at her mom for lying to her. She was embarrassed that her real dad was an alcoholic. And he didn't seem to want to see her, which had hurt. And her dad tried so hard, but even he made her angry with his intense dislike for Deacon and that fact that he didn't seem sorry for what he had done to her. Most of all, it was clear that whatever relationship her mom and Deacon had had before the accident was done, over.

When things had gotten more or less back to normal after her mom got home, her curiosity about Deacon grew. She started listening to his music and researching him as best she could since her mom was reluctant to talk about him. Her life was in turmoil and she'd had no idea where she fit. Seeing her dad with Daphne at his wedding had been the breaking point for her. And seemed to finally be the moment when her mom understood that she needed to know Deacon as her dad.

Maddie smiled to herself. Now she truly felt like she was Deacon's daughter. He made her feel loved and protected and valued the way Teddy did with Daphne. She was finally feeling a true connection with him that felt truly comforting. She knew who she was. She was Maddie Claybourne, the daughter of Deacon Claybourne and Rayna Jaymes. She was part of the two of them and that felt right and good. She turned and looked out the window of the plane and thought about how she was flying home to her father.

* * *

Maddie was reading when the co-pilot came out of the cockpit briefly to let them know they were about an hour outside of Nashville. She turned and noticed that Daphne had moved to another seat and was sound asleep. She closed her Kindle and put it in her bag and got up from her seat. She walked back to where her mom was sitting. "Can I sit with you?" she asked.

Rayna looked up at her and smiled. "Of course." She held her arm out and Maddie sat down next to her, smiling as her mom put her arm around her shoulders. "What have you been doing all this time?" her mom asked.

Maddie looked up at her. "Listening to music. Reading. Thinking about what a good time I had." She grinned. "Thanks for taking us. This was fun."

"I'm so glad you had a good time. I always enjoy my time with my girls." Rayna sat back and closed her eyes, hugging her older daughter close. "I'm sorry we couldn't stay longer."

Maddie leaned her head back on her mom's arm. "Yeah, me too. But now I can see my dad. Do you think I could spend a whole day with him? I know it's your week, but…"

Rayna opened her eyes and looked at her. "If that's what you want, and it's okay with Deacon, it's okay with me."

"Thanks." She frowned a little as she considered what she'd been thinking about earlier. "You know, Mom, I'm okay with waiting."

Rayna looked confused. "Waiting?"

"You know, keeping things private. With Deacon."

Rayna raised her eyebrows and nodded slightly. "That's good, Maddie. We'll just play things by ear, how about that?"

Maddie nodded and then snuggled up to her mom. She asked her the one last question that she had. "Mom?" she asked hesitantly. Rayna looked at her questioningly. "When you got pregnant, did you love Deacon?" Her voice was soft and shaky.

Rayna felt her breath catch. She wrapped her arms around her daughter and laid her head on top of Maddie's. "Oh, sweet girl," she murmured. Such a big question. Everything that had happened at that time had been so very complicated. Everything except for that one thing. "Yes, Maddie, I did love him. I loved him more than anyone else in the world." She decided to add the part Maddie hadn't asked about. "And he loved me too. Don't ever think you didn't come from love, sweet girl, because you did." She felt tears in her eyes and her heart was heavy. "I just wish that had been enough," she whispered hoarsely.

Maddie reached up and grabbed her mom's arms, leaning into her. "Me too," she whispered back.

* * *

It had been a busy month in the Mayor's office. Budget time was always tense and everyone worked overtime. Jack hated this time of year but they only had a few more days of this. Late on Friday afternoon his cell phone rang. He almost ignored it but glanced at the screen. _Caroline_. He smiled. The pretty girl he'd met at a Christmas house party, who worked for the _Nashville Scene_.

"Caroline, hey," he said as he answered. He listened. "Oh, yeah, wow, thanks for calling and reminding me. I'd forgotten all about that. Things have been pretty hectic here." He nodded. "I'll send it right now." He smiled. "Great. And drinks sounds great. See you then."

He disconnected and quickly went to his photos. He found the one he was looking for. Before he sent it, he added a note. _Def the mayor's daughter. She was here last week. Happy hunting!_


	17. Chapter 17

Rayna padded into the kitchen and put on a kettle of water on to boil. Teddy had come the day before to pick up the girls for his week. She was glad she'd gotten spring break with them. They'd done the trip to the West Coast and then played tourist in Nashville most of the rest of the week. She and Daphne had done a day at the mall while Maddie had spent the day with Deacon. When they had gone to pick up Maddie, Deacon had suggested ordering pizza, which they did. More than once, Rayna had found herself wondering if their lives could have been this simple and enjoyable. Her heart had ached from the sweetness of it and she was pretty sure that Deacon had conflicted feelings about it as well. She'd found herself wondering how they'd gotten to this place of mere politeness, with only fleeting moments of all that shared history. She felt confused about her feelings, but it had still been a nice evening and she felt like she and Deacon were finally getting the co-parenting thing worked out.

Maddie had seemed more relaxed since the trip to Seattle. Rayna was glad she'd decided to take things a day at a time in her relationship with Deacon. It wasn't just Maddie that she wanted to protect, it was Deacon as well. He'd really surprised her, in a good way, with how he was connecting with their daughter, but she was always mindful of the dangers of stressful situations for him. She supposed she would always feel like she needed to look out for him. He was a part of her, she couldn't deny that, and the bond they would always have now because of Maddie made her want to look out for him.

Tandy had spent Sunday night at the house. The sisters were working on repairing their relationship after the fallout from Tandy's testimony against their father. As she sipped on her tea, Rayna thought about how hard it was to fight with Tandy and how uncomfortable the strain had been. Tandy had been her touchstone after their mom had died and this distance between them had been painful and sad. She hoped that Maddie and Daphne would always remain close. Daphne had shared her own pain the day they'd gone to the mall, how disconnected she felt from Maddie, and it had broken her heart. She hadn't realized the toll all of this was taking on her younger daughter. She'd concentrated so much on what Maddie was going through that she hadn't realized Daphne was hurting too.

"Hey, babe," Tandy said, as she walked into the kitchen, bringing Rayna back to the present. She walked up to her sister and smiled, rubbing her back.

Rayna smiled back. "Hey. Do you want some tea?"

"Love some." Rayna busied herself with getting another cup and fixing the tea for Tandy. "So, what's on the agenda for today, Ms. Highway 65?"

Rayna made a face. "We need to finalize the album art for Scarlett's record. And start planning my tour. Time's getting away from us."

Tandy gave her a pert smile. "I'm ready," she said. "I'll learn all this music business yet."

* * *

It was late morning by the time they had mapped out a tentative tour schedule for Bucky to implement. Tandy went into the study to make some calls, leaving Rayna looking over album art choices. She looked up from the artwork she was reviewing when Bucky walked in. She frowned when she saw the sick look on his face. "What's up, Buck?" she asked.

He held up a piece of paper. "I didn't think with we'd have to deal with this, since we hadn't released anything yet, but there's a blurb that's going to be in _Nashville Scene_ about Deacon and Maddie." He handed it to Rayna. "It hasn't been published yet, but I got it for comment."

Rayna felt sick herself as she looked down at what he'd handed her. _Nashville Scene_ wasn't a gossip rag, but the headline felt a little salacious – _Is the Mayor's Daughter Really the Mayor's Daughter?_ – along with a picture of Deacon and Maddie, presumably at a restaurant. She slowly sank onto the couch as she read the short article.

_Who is the young teenage girl who's been spotted out and about in East Nashville with guitarist Deacon Claybourne? They were seen recently at Mas Tacos and also leaving Gruhn's Guitars together. Sources say the girl is Maddie Conrad, the daughter of country queen Rayna Jaymes and Nashville Mayor Teddy Conrad. Or is she? Claybourne was the long-time lead guitarist for Ms. Jaymes and they had a long relationship prior to her marriage to the mayor. The timing of that is interesting. Could the queen of country be hiding something?_

Rayna looked up. "Son of a bitch," she said, angrily. "Is somebody following them?" Then she gasped. "Do you think someone is following _me_ when I take her over there and pick her up?"

Bucky shook his head. "I don't know. I'll see if I can find out what's on the street and a little more about where this came from. But if you want to get out in front of this, we need to do it quickly. I think we need to go ahead and put out our statement right away."

Rayna looked like she'd seen a ghost. She wrapped her arms around her waist and bent over. "I'll need to call Deacon and Teddy." She looked up at Bucky. "Can you get me the statement? I want to look over it one more time before we put it out. I want to be sure it doesn't give out more information than I'm comfortable with. Just remember, I'm _not_ answering questions." She sat there for a moment, the wheels turning in her head. "I need to go pick up the girls."

Bucky shook his head. "No, you don't need to go out until we put out our statement. I don't think anyone else has this yet, but you never know. Tandy can pick up the girls."

Rayna put her hand up. "No. Since I need to call Deacon and Teddy, I'll have Teddy pick up Daphne and Deacon can get Maddie." She leaned over and put her face in her hands.

Bucky looked at her, sitting hunched over, looking scared. He knew the fallout from this could be devastating to her and to the label, depending on how people reacted. He hadn't expected to have to deal with it this way, however. "So, um, I think you should also tell Luke. No need for him to find out some other way." She nodded mutely. He walked over and put his hand on her shoulder. "We'll get through this," he said.

Rayna looked up and gave him a sad smile. "Thanks, Buck, but I don't think this is going to go well at all."

* * *

After Bucky had printed out the release, he, Rayna and Tandy reviewed it one more time. _As most of you know, Deacon Claybourne and I have a long history together both personally and professionally. I am coming forward today to acknowledge that Deacon is the father of my oldest daughter Maddie. At the time she was born, the decision was made that Teddy Conrad and I would raise her as Teddy's daughter, but the time has come to disclose the truth. Deacon, Teddy and I all love Maddie very much and we ask that you respect our privacy in this personal family matter._

Tandy let out a harsh laugh. "Like anyone will respect your privacy." She closed her eyes and clenched her fists. "This makes me so angry."

Rayna looked at her with disbelief. "Seriously, Tandy?" She shook her head and then turned to Bucky. She looked grim. "So what's the plan?" she asked, her voice sounding defeated.

Bucky cleared his throat. "It'll go on your website, of course. Then I'm going to release it to some select media outlets and local stations. I'm also trying to arrange a taped interview with _Entertainment Tonight_. I think it will be tomorrow before we really have to deal with this."

Rayna nodded slowly. "What do you think will be the fallout?"

Bucky shrugged. "It's hard to say. In the grand scheme of things, the fact that Deacon is Maddie's father wouldn't be surprising, considering your relationship with him. I think that by itself isn't so damning. It's the implication that it was a secret. I don't know that it would be difficult to uncover that Deacon didn't know about it and that might be the sticking point. Think about how vicious the public has been about Juliette. Pretty out of proportion, probably, to her alleged offense. I think the same thing could happen here. You need to be prepared for that."

Tandy squeezed her arm. "We'll get through it." Rayna walked away from her and stood in front of the breakfast room window. Tandy looked back at Bucky who raised his eyebrows and shrugged. "Um, I think Bucky should go ahead and get the ball rolling on all of this. I'm going to recommend not officially putting anything out there until after the close of business, just so that we have a little time before whatever's going to happen happens. Are you okay with that, babe?"

Rayna just waved a hand, as if to say "do it". After a brief pause, she heard Bucky's footsteps and then heard him open and close the door. She turned back and faced Tandy, her face void of emotion. "You can go too," she said.

"Rayna, I don't want you to stay here. Will you come stay with me?"

Rayna thought about that and then nodded. "Yes, I'll do that. But you need to go now."

"What about the girls? Do you want me to go pick them up?"

Rayna took a deep breath. Everything was starting to bubble up to the surface and she needed to get herself under control. For almost as long as she could remember, she had worked hard to manage her emotions and keep an even keel. She allowed herself to be angry, but she had worked hard to be an emotionally under control woman. Her long years with Deacon and his unpredictable behavior had sharpened that need to control what happened around her and what she said and did. She very rarely let people see her cry or be vulnerable. She had perfected the performance face. Now she looked at Tandy, her face unemotional. "I'm going to have Teddy pick up Daphne and Deacon pick up Maddie," she said.

"But, babe, don't you want to see them? Tell them what's going on? Especially Maddie," Tandy protested.

Rayna glared at her sister. "No," she said firmly. "It will just complicate things. After I talk to Teddy and Deacon…and Luke, I'll be ready to leave."

Tandy looked confused. "Are you sure you don't want me to stay?"

"No, I don't."

Tandy was concerned about Rayna's lack of emotion. All three of those conversations were likely to be highly charged and she didn't want her sister to be alone. "I'm worried about you, babe." She moved to reach for Rayna.

Rayna pulled back abruptly, her eyes flashing. "Don't. I'm fine."

Tandy shook her head. "I don't think you are."

Rayna looked incredulous, raising her arms in a gesture of frustration. "I have to be. Look where we are. If we hadn't done this all those years ago – you, me, Teddy, even Daddy – we wouldn't be here now. I should never have listened to any of you! We wouldn't be dealing with any of this now. Deacon, Maddie, and I would be a family…." Her voice trailed off. She shook her head. "No. I'm not doing this. Please go, Tandy. I will see you later." Tandy looked hesitant. "Go!" Then she sighed. She walked over to her sister and took her arm. "I'll be there soon. Go," she said more gently.

Tandy pulled her into a fierce hug. "If you need me, call me," she whispered. Rayna nodded. Tandy picked up her purse and, with a last look at her sister, left the house.

Rayna walked to the back door and watched Tandy walk out to her car, get in, and drive off. She stood there a little longer, realizing she was putting off doing what she needed to do. She sighed deeply. _Damn._ Just when it seemed that there was no rush to make Maddie and Deacon's relationship public, now it would be. Although not by her choosing, or Maddie's. She wondered who had seen them, who had made the connection. Even though Deacon was getting his solo career started and even though he had a somewhat higher profile when they were a couple, he was certainly not a hugely famous person around Nashville. It made her wonder if it was someone who knew him, but it still didn't make sense. She frowned, trying to make sense of it, but she couldn't. And she needed to get things in motion.

She walked over to the desk where she'd left her purse and fished out her phone. She pressed the power button and her heart clenched at the sight of the wallpaper picture of her girls. She had always tried to protect them and now Maddie, at least, was going to be thrust into unfamiliar territory. She went to her contact list and scrolled down to Teddy's name. She was pretty sure that Teddy would be a jerk about this, so she wanted to get it over with first. Her thumb hovered over his name and finally she tapped it and lifted the phone to her ear.

"Hey, Rayna," Teddy answered. "What's up?"

"Um, can you come by the house? I need to talk to you about something."

Teddy grimaced. "Can't we do it over the phone? We're finalizing budgets today."

Rayna sighed. "I'd rather not. It's, um, it's kind of about Maddie. And Deacon."

Teddy was silent for a moment and then swore loudly. "I'll be there shortly," he said angrily, and hung up.

* * *

When Teddy got to the house, he let himself in. Rayna was standing in the kitchen and she looked at him apprehensively. "So what is this emergency about Maddie?" he asked tersely. Rayna handed him the copy of the article. Teddy read it and then slammed it down on the counter. "Damn it, Rayna!" he shouted. "This is exactly what I warned you about."

Rayna glared at him. "What was I supposed to do, Teddy? Keep them apart? Tell them they could never leave Deacon's house?"

Teddy shook his head. "Now we're going to have to deal with all this ugliness and have our daughter dragged through the mud."

"I'm putting out a statement in advance of this." She slid that over to him and watched as he scanned it, shaking his head with a bitter laugh. "I'm going to do an interview with _Entertainment Tonight_ also."

He looked at her with dismay. "I told you this was going to happen. When you just had to get involved with him again, I told you you wouldn't be able to keep this undercover."

She looked at him incredulously. "I didn't tell him, Teddy. She found the paternity test. It's as much on you as it is on me. She was already upset about you and Peggy. Neither one of us knew just how upset our separation made her."

Teddy smiled sarcastically and waved his hand at her. "Oh, no, no, no, you're not putting this on me. If you had just stayed away from him…"

Rayna stomped her foot and glared at him. "Deacon is her _father_!" she shouted.

Teddy let out a strangled cry. "God! I'm so sick and tired of hearing that. _I'm_ Maddie's father. _I'm_ the one that's been there for her and there's no way in hell I'm just going to step aside here," he said angrily.

"No one has _ever_ asked you to step aside," Rayna retorted.

"Yeah, _you_ have, with every guitar lesson, with every overnight visit, with every song. I've been turned into the outsider. Let me tell you something, Rayna, I am _not_ losing Maddie. Not to him." He shook his head vehemently. "Not to him."

"You aren't going to lose her, Teddy. But I have to acknowledge this now." She took a deep breath. "Look, I know this is going to create havoc for both girls."

"I'll go pick them up from school."

"No." Teddy looked at her sharply and she raised her hand. "Not both of them. I'd like for you to go pick up Daphne."

"And what, let _Deacon_ pick up Maddie? Have you lost your mind?" Teddy shook his head.

Rayna's eyes turned steely. "He can take her up to the cabin. Out of Nashville. Away from all this. So will you get Daphne? And explain what's going on?"

Teddy looked at her, fuming. He took several deep breaths before he finally spoke. "I will get Daphne. I don't know what I'll tell her right now." He looked like he wanted to say something else, but stopped himself. He turned and walked out, shaking his head as he left.

Rayna leaned against the counter and closed her eyes for a moment. That had gone pretty true to form. She reached for her phone again and found Deacon's name. When he answered, she said, "I'm going to have to go ahead with the press release. Can you come by?"

"How come, Ray?"

She rolled her eyes. "Just come by. I'll explain it all then, okay?"

"Sure. I'll be there in a few."

She disconnected the call and waited.

* * *

Rayna was standing in her kitchen, alone. When Deacon walked in the back door, she wasn't surprised. He never knocked. Even when things were at their worst, the familiarity they had with each other never seemed to go away. He walked over to where she was standing.

"I was surprised that you were doing this now. Did something happen?"

Rayna nodded solemnly. "Yeah. Something did." She slid the sheet of paper over to him that had the story with the picture of him and Maddie at Mas Tacos.

Deacon scanned it and leaned down on the counter on his elbows, covering his face with his hands. "Damn," he whispered. He pushed himself up and looked at her, her face stoic. "I'm sorry, Rayna."

She shook her head. "Don't. It just pushes up the timeline."

"I know this has to be tough. It wasn't what you wanted."

Rayna shook her head. "I'm fine."

"You can cut that out right now. I know you're scared. Talk to me."

The look in her eyes scared Deacon a little. Like she was a little dead inside. He'd seen that look all too often, when she'd dealt with him and his drinking, when she'd dealt with her father and his machinations, all the years she'd been married to Teddy. He knew her so well. He knew that she would bury this deep down inside and not address it, except to lash out in anger, and she'd probably already done that. This was how she got when it was more than she could bear. She rarely let anyone see her cry. She could do it with him, but she was still so controlled. She had told him once, long ago, that she was afraid that if she ever let it all out, she wouldn't be able to stop and that she'd never recover. So it was easier to compartmentalize it all and put on that performance face that said "It's all good. It's all fine. I'm great." Even when she wasn't. And he knew that's what was happening here.

Rayna picked up a kettle and started to pour hot water in a mug. "Tea?" she asked, her face almost vacant.

"No, I don't want tea. I want you to talk."

She shrugged. "There's not much to it. We're going to release the statement today, ahead of the story, hopefully to take some of the sting out of it. You've seen the release. It's pretty straightforward, not a lot of details. It's not what I wanted, but my hand has been forced now." She looked at him with the first flicker of emotion quickly flashing through her eyes. "I want you to go pick up Maddie from school and keep her for a day or two until, well, until whatever's going to happen happens."

"What do you want me to tell her?"

"Just let her know that I'm releasing my statement on the label website and a couple news outlets and that the story is coming out. I'm guessing that the press may try to track her down, so you may want to keep her out of school for a couple days anyway. Take her someplace people can't find her." She looked at him, willing him to bring up the cabin on his own.

Deacon worked his lip. "What if I take her to the cabin? It's far enough away. And private."

Rayna sighed and looked away. "Yeah. That would probably be a good place." She picked up her mug and walked into the den. Deacon stood watching her a moment and then followed, sitting down next to her on the couch.

He breathed in and out and rubbed his hands over his face. "Rayna, what happened at the cabin back then?" he asked quietly.

She looked at him, her eyebrows raised. "You really want to hear it?"

He nodded. "I think I need to know."

She closed her eyes briefly and looked away and down. After running her tongue over her lips, she finally started to speak, not looking at him. "We were at rehearsal. Things between us were actually better, even though you weren't happy that I was dating Teddy. I didn't know that you were still drinking. Drinking again. Because I wasn't with you…all the time…you could hide it from me. And you did a really good job of it. And you were trying to be good. The Deacon I'd fallen in love with." She could hear him breathe in, but she couldn't look at him. "We'd had a good day. The music was good. It felt like old times. And I was weak. You stayed afterwards and you were so sweet to me. I don't even remember now how you talked me into going up to the cabin, but you did. I followed you up there, wondering what the hell I was doing, but all I could think about was that I loved you and I wanted to believe in you and I wanted us to work." Deacon reached out and took her hand. She squeezed it gently and then disengaged. She could feel tears start to prick her eyes and she blinked several times and took in a deep breath. Tamping everything down, deep down inside, in its own little place where it couldn't overtake her.

"Ray…." Deacon said, worried about her.

She put up her hand, still not looking at him. "Let me finish." She swallowed. "When we got there, you lit a fire and all these candles. It looked so romantic. I guess you'd been there recently because there was actually some food in the house. Nothing fancy, of course. Popcorn, as I recall. You always had popcorn." She sighed. "Maddie loves popcorn." Another deep breath. "So you were so sweet that night. The Deacon I remembered. You asked me to stop seeing Teddy, told me that you wanted to marry me." She heard Deacon take in a deep breath. "I wanted that too and I told you I would. It was a beautiful night. A new beginning, I thought. But the next morning you weren't in bed with me, you were passed out on the couch. And you didn't remember a thing. Not one damn thing." Her voice had gotten steely.

Deacon stood up and paced, one hand on his hip, the other rubbing the back of his neck. He felt sick. "Oh, God, Rayna," he said brokenly.

She turned to look at him then, her eyes full of anger. "Don't. You wanted to know. Now you do. So then I knew that you were still drinking, so I sent you back to rehab. Six weeks later I found out I was pregnant. And when I went to tell you, you'd skipped out on rehab and you were at the cabin, wasted. That's when this all started."

Deacon's eyes were filled with pain and sorrow. "I'm sorry, Ray," he whispered.

Rayna stood up and shook her head. "I wish I hadn't told you. But I did." She pushed the emotions that threatened to well up back down inside. "Go get Maddie. I'll let you know when it's okay to bring her home." She walked over to the back door and opened it. "Tell Maddie I'm sorry." She picked up an overnight bag she'd packed.

Deacon nodded mutely and walked to the door. He moved as though to hug her, but she stepped back, shaking her head. Her face told him he needed to keep his distance. He nodded again, took the overnight bag, and walked out the door.

Rayna closed the door firmly and stood there for a moment, watching him as he walked out to his truck. She took a deep breath and then went to pick up her phone. There was one last call to make.

* * *

When she heard the knock on the door, Rayna breathed in, then went to open it. Luke was standing there with a big smile on his face. "Hey, gorgeous!" he said, leaning in to kiss her. She stepped back to let him in. "So, what's up?" he asked as she closed the door.

"Let's sit down," she said and led him into the den. She sat on the couch and he sat next to her, propping his feet on the coffee table.

"So spill, sweetheart," he said, jovially.

Rayna breathed in. She felt a lump in her throat as well as a cold chill run down her spine. "Well, I wanted to tell you about a press release that's going out later today. About me and Maddie. And Deacon." She looked at him and he frowned. "Maddie is Deacon's daughter."

Luke's eyes widened. He sat back and exhaled, not looking happy. "Wow. That's a bit of a surprise. You and Deacon kept that secret really well, I must say."

Rayna shook her head. "_We_ didn't keep it secret. I did. Actually Teddy and I did."

Luke frowned. "I don't understand."

Rayna looked down. She picked at her jeans. "I got pregnant and didn't tell Deacon. He was in really bad shape then and was in rehab. So I decided not to tell him. To marry Teddy instead."

"So I still don't understand. Did you not know Deacon was the father?"

"No. I knew. Teddy knew."

Luke scowled. "So when did you get around to telling Deacon?"

Rayna's eyes widened and she took a deep breath. "About six months ago."

Luke looked away, rubbing his face. When he looked back, his eyes were cold. "So you lied to Deacon all that time?"

Rayna shrugged. "It's not exactly like that. I, we, Teddy and I, made some decisions so that we could protect Maddie. Deacon just wasn't in any shape to be a father, we didn't think."

Luke let out a sarcastic laugh. "Damn, girl, that's about as cold a thing as you could do to somebody. I'm not Deacon Claybourne's biggest fan, but hell. I'm surprised he even gives you the time of day these days."

Rayna felt tears prick her eyes and willed them back. "Well, it's been…hard, but we're working through it."

"So, why now? Why the hell go public now?"

"Someone saw Deacon and Maddie out together when she was staying with him. There's a story that's coming out in the next couple days about it. Speculating on that whole relationship. I can't let it be someone's gossip story. So I want to get the truth out." She looked at him. "I wanted to let you know so…."

"So I could be prepared? Goddammit, Rayna, this is beyond outrageous. I can't even wrap my mind around how fucked up this is." He shook his head, then stood up. "I think you can safely say I'm not a part of this anymore. I can't be with someone this manipulative."

Rayna stood up, too, a little surprised at his reaction. "But you don't know the whole story," she said.

Luke spread his arms out. "I don't need to. I hear 'I lied about my daughter's father'. I don't need to hear more than that. We're done, Rayna." He turned and walked out, slamming the door behind him.

Rayna sank back down on the couch, tears streaking down her face. But just what those tears were for, she couldn't have said at that point.

_**A/N: I don't have much left. Just a few more chapters and then a nice little wrap up. Thanks for reading!**_


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